Reboot to reconnect

yogi

Active Member
Hi BridgeTri

Do not feel dejected or depressed about your relapse. All of us have experienced the relapse-reboot-relapse cycle.

One of the important activities you can do daily is to visit this forum.

Read other's journals, reply to them, share your expierences. That itself causes your brain to shift its thinking patterns.

I too have gone through 8 years of trying to quit with endless relapses. Like you, my longest ever streak is 30 days that I achieved over 2 years ago and have not been able to replicate ever since. But this is the first time in my life that I am journaling and this forum is like a gift from God.

The very act of opening myself up on this forum has caused a profound shift in my thinking.

Reading all of your stories gives me the confidence to move forward in my journey

We will overcome this addiction
 

Wolfman

Active Member
Made it all the way to day 30, but after a few bad decisions in a couple of stressful weeks I’m now day 1. P has never done anything good for me. I ruin my life by PMOing. I need to stay strong. I need to remind myself that PMO is a choice and I can choose not to.
Reboot to reconnect with myself. Day 1.
When you're strong, prepare for when you're weak. You won't always be high spirited and you need to think ahead of yourself. But your attitude in the face of defeat is exactly right; the goal doesn't change and the process grows with failures and mistakes. Learn from what went wrong this time and try not to let future stress factors rope you into the last place you want to be. Keep going BridgeTri!
 

BridgeTri

Member
Thanks heaps!
Had an emotionally hard day yesterday on so many levels. But instead of PMO I chose to connect with the folks. Keeping busy, working out, being mindful.
Day 3!
 

BridgeTri

Member
Multiple relapses, latest yesterday. Not doing what I want to do. Feeling anhedonic. Want to be at the end of my recovery, not struggling in the middle of it. Hard to find the motivation. I want to connect with someone, but maybe thats not an option, whilst not being connected to my self. My long term relationship ended 2-3 weeks ago. We gave it all we had at the time, but it wasn't sufficient. Gutted about that.
Now I'm dating another beautiful, talented, smart woman. We've seen each other a couple of times. Maybe I'm just in need of confirmation that I'm attractive, but I tell myself that I'm looking for something long term. I feel it's wrong to keep dating her. She knows nothing about my PMO addiction. I need hard mode right now. I need to address my problems now. From now on I will update daily.

Day 1.

Goal of the day: Say clean until next post.
 

BridgeTri

Member
Felt an enormous brain fog yesterday. Mood wasn’t good. Stayed in all day even though the weather was oh so fine. Didn’t exercise. Didn’t eat well. But no PMO. A lot of P-sub though, being active on Tinder.
Day 2
Goal of the day: stay clean, exercise, be gentle with myself.
 

AJM

Active Member
Felt an enormous brain fog yesterday. Mood wasn’t good. Stayed in all day even though the weather was oh so fine. Didn’t exercise. Didn’t eat well. But no PMO. A lot of P-sub though, being active on Tinder.
Day 2
Goal of the day: stay clean, exercise, be gentle with myself.
Hey friend, P-subs is Red flag sign.
- Keep yourself busy and
- reflect back upon your journey till now as porn addict and write down the emotions that cross your mind.
 
Red flag means it's a trigger. It releases the dopamine which further carves the pathways in your brain to relapse. Stay away from those things if you can.
 

BridgeTri

Member
Right you are, guys! Had a good day I think. Talked to parents and some friends. Reached out, got some good talks and understanding. Hard living alone, having no one around in everyday life. I get inactive, surfing random stuff —> p-sub —> PMO.
Day 0.
Tomorrow I have plans all day. Should be easier to stay away from PMO. PMO never did me any good anyway. It’s an addiction I need to defeat. It doesn’t solve problems, it doesn’t relieve stress. It causes it. If I had known then what I know now, there is no way in h*ll I would have started watching P as a kid.
I have the knowledge. I want a better life. Now is the time. Good night!
 

BridgeTri

Member
Day 1
Slept awfully. Had a good Day with a long bike ride and met up with my ex (from 4-5yrs ago). We just hung out like normal friends. No sexual tension what so ever. Went to the beach, played disc golf, ate ice cream. 🥳

Looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Thanks for the support guys!
 

yogi

Active Member
Bridge better stop random surfing and replace it with something productive. That way you will further speed up the rewiring.

Don't give up.
 

BridgeTri

Member
Day 2
Right you are, Yogi. Easier said than done though. I’d definitely define my self as a computer nerd. I’m “always” online. Trying to get offline, but my mind is really wired to the screen.
Been trying to keep active and will continue so forthcoming days. Doing interval track training tomorrow 🏃
Sleep tight fellow fighters!
 
Internet addiction is a thing as well. I wonder how just being on the internet reinforces those reward currents of dopamine which are associated with addiction. I bet it's pretty similar to porn addiction.

Enjoy nature as much as possible. It's easy to get desensitized to the rest of life when the phone and computer screen is so engaging all the time.
 
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