Thatonebaldguy
Member
Howdy!
Background: Normal fella here grew up in the middle of nowhere around middle school time we got internet, dial up but after the modem sang the song of its people we were online and chatting on ICQ in no time. Started watching around middle school, grew up in a normal home church on Easter and Christmas. Kept watching not seeing any issues with it or understanding how awkward I was around girls until college and a little after. No worries though during college I found beer and green to keep me busy. After college met Christ and became a christian but still kept watching and feeling cruddy about it. Went to grad school got my masters and figured I'm sorta successful so whats it matter. Sorta kept this attitude till mid-20s where i tried quitting a few times none of which I was super serious. I found YBOP around this time and thought it was good info but didnt worry much about it. Recently however when I started having PIED which really has been a long time coming I wanted to get serious about it. Honestly I'm just tired of feeling cruddy after each relapse too. Additionally I met a really amazing girl, like really amazing. I went from being sure i was going to need to settle to hoping to make the cut for the first time in my life. I'll be talking about her from time to time, lets call her the one with hair. She's not my only reason but sort of the straw that broke the camel's back. So here I am!
Goals and Sticking points: Goals is to put down anything that isnt real for good and get back to pre-watching vibes. Given I was a wee little fella when I started watching interested to meet that version of myself. Sticking points for me is usually boredom. I have plenty to do but usually get it all done in the weekend (chores wise) and my job isnt terribly difficult so I just get board which leads me to relapse.
So that's that, now on to the routine part of it:
I do need an accountability partner so if you need one let me know!
Background: Normal fella here grew up in the middle of nowhere around middle school time we got internet, dial up but after the modem sang the song of its people we were online and chatting on ICQ in no time. Started watching around middle school, grew up in a normal home church on Easter and Christmas. Kept watching not seeing any issues with it or understanding how awkward I was around girls until college and a little after. No worries though during college I found beer and green to keep me busy. After college met Christ and became a christian but still kept watching and feeling cruddy about it. Went to grad school got my masters and figured I'm sorta successful so whats it matter. Sorta kept this attitude till mid-20s where i tried quitting a few times none of which I was super serious. I found YBOP around this time and thought it was good info but didnt worry much about it. Recently however when I started having PIED which really has been a long time coming I wanted to get serious about it. Honestly I'm just tired of feeling cruddy after each relapse too. Additionally I met a really amazing girl, like really amazing. I went from being sure i was going to need to settle to hoping to make the cut for the first time in my life. I'll be talking about her from time to time, lets call her the one with hair. She's not my only reason but sort of the straw that broke the camel's back. So here I am!
Goals and Sticking points: Goals is to put down anything that isnt real for good and get back to pre-watching vibes. Given I was a wee little fella when I started watching interested to meet that version of myself. Sticking points for me is usually boredom. I have plenty to do but usually get it all done in the weekend (chores wise) and my job isnt terribly difficult so I just get board which leads me to relapse.
So that's that, now on to the routine part of it:
- Did I use porn today?
- Negative ghost rider
- What were my triggers?
- Been trying to keep visiting this site. Might sound dumb but almost trying to remind myself that I have a problem. Odd I forget it till after I relapse. I also been tuning into John Pipers blog he has some practical tips on dealing with lust (his definition includes watching)
- How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
- Really struggling on this one for both not watching and my job. Been walking when I can and I hit the gym 5x a week which is nice, BJJ 2x a week. I like to be growing in whatever I'm doing so resting is sorta hard for me. Tried headspace, dude had a oddly soothing voice BUT wasnt much help long term cept some jealously over the sound of my voice compared to his.
- What am I grateful for today?
- This thread really. Def wouldnt have been open to sharing my struggles with strangers on the interwebs but after looking over it everyone seems legit and encouraging so excited to get to it.
- Day counter!
- day 2, so looking forward to see that number grow
I do need an accountability partner so if you need one let me know!