One foot in front of the other

Howdy!

Background: Normal fella here grew up in the middle of nowhere around middle school time we got internet, dial up but after the modem sang the song of its people we were online and chatting on ICQ in no time. Started watching around middle school, grew up in a normal home church on Easter and Christmas. Kept watching not seeing any issues with it or understanding how awkward I was around girls until college and a little after. No worries though during college I found beer and green to keep me busy. After college met Christ and became a christian but still kept watching and feeling cruddy about it. Went to grad school got my masters and figured I'm sorta successful so whats it matter. Sorta kept this attitude till mid-20s where i tried quitting a few times none of which I was super serious. I found YBOP around this time and thought it was good info but didnt worry much about it. Recently however when I started having PIED which really has been a long time coming I wanted to get serious about it. Honestly I'm just tired of feeling cruddy after each relapse too. Additionally I met a really amazing girl, like really amazing. I went from being sure i was going to need to settle to hoping to make the cut for the first time in my life. I'll be talking about her from time to time, lets call her the one with hair. She's not my only reason but sort of the straw that broke the camel's back. So here I am!

Goals and Sticking points: Goals is to put down anything that isnt real for good and get back to pre-watching vibes. Given I was a wee little fella when I started watching interested to meet that version of myself. Sticking points for me is usually boredom. I have plenty to do but usually get it all done in the weekend (chores wise) and my job isnt terribly difficult so I just get board which leads me to relapse.

So that's that, now on to the routine part of it:

  • Did I use porn today?
    • Negative ghost rider
  • What were my triggers?
    • Been trying to keep visiting this site. Might sound dumb but almost trying to remind myself that I have a problem. Odd I forget it till after I relapse. I also been tuning into John Pipers blog he has some practical tips on dealing with lust (his definition includes watching)
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
    • Really struggling on this one for both not watching and my job. Been walking when I can and I hit the gym 5x a week which is nice, BJJ 2x a week. I like to be growing in whatever I'm doing so resting is sorta hard for me. Tried headspace, dude had a oddly soothing voice BUT wasnt much help long term cept some jealously over the sound of my voice compared to his.
  • What am I grateful for today?
    • This thread really. Def wouldnt have been open to sharing my struggles with strangers on the interwebs but after looking over it everyone seems legit and encouraging so excited to get to it.
  • Day counter!
    • day 2, so looking forward to see that number grow

I do need an accountability partner so if you need one let me know!
 
Checking in for the week ending 5/15.

Decided to start checking in weekly cause that is when I update my diet and workout plans so easier to build a routine around it. This week went pretty good. I did have an old fling shoot me some pictures that I had to avoid pretty quick once I realized what they were. Didn't expect that. Overall intentional not watching is still going well.

  • Did I use porn today?
    • Negative ghost rider
  • What were my triggers?
    • Recently just text from my ex and boredom. Been doing pretty well this week staying on my reading plans and focusing on some articles from Pipers cite.
    • Seems like stress is also a stressor my parents are going through a pretty crazy divorce on one day and off another so been trying to be supportive of that while keeping my distance
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
    • Just leaning into prayer, my routine, and keeping busy with legit anything lol
  • What am I grateful for today?
    • My Bible app, makes signing up for new plans pretty easy and the one with hair. Our relationship is going pretty well she def makes me look at things differently and brings a fresh perspective to things
  • Day counter!
    • day 4, it legit feels like its been longer than that
 
And we're back. Been bumpy for sure. Messed up recently and stumbled hard. Getting back on it tho

  • Did I use porn today?
    • Negative
  • What were my triggers?
    • Being bored really. I think going back into the office soon will be a huge help. Working remote hasnt been bad but hasnt been helpful either.
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
    • Food and family really. Having family in town last weekend was awesome
  • What am I grateful for today?
    • Just a good day, checked off all my habits so far today


Day counter
- day 3
 

Fappy

Respected Member
Great. Keep writing down those pesky triggers, and fuck`em up when they start to harass you!
 
6/14

Checking in. Yesterday was rough but kept focusing on doing something to stay busy and engaged in.

  • Did I use porn today?
    • Negative
  • What were my triggers?
    • Being bored
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
    • Just finding something else to do
  • What am I grateful for today?
    • Just a good day, checked off all my habits so far today

Day counter: 6
 
6/15

Checking in. Yesterday was rough but kept focusing on doing something to stay busy and engaged in.

  • Did I use porn today?
    • Negative
  • What were my triggers?
    • Being bored
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
    • Just finding something else to do, watching TV lately
  • What am I grateful for today?
    • Good community

Day counter: 7
 
6/16

Checking in. going okay

  • Did I use porn today?
    • Negative
  • What were my triggers?
    • Being bored
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
    • Just finding something else to do, watching TV lately
  • What am I grateful for today?
    • TV

Day counter: 8
 
6/17

Checking in. going okay

  • Did I use porn today?
    • Negative
  • What were my triggers?
    • Being bored
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
    • Just finding something else to do, watching TV lately
  • What am I grateful for today?
    • Community activities
Day counter: 9
 
6/19

Checking in. going okay

  • Did I use porn today?
    • Negative
  • What were my triggers?
    • Being bored
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
    • Just finding something else to do, watching TV lately
  • What am I grateful for today?
    • Church and my relationship with God
Day counter: 12
 
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