Reclaiming the present

Dannybou

Member
[day 22]

The more time I spend away from the internet, the more I feel my attention span slowly return. There's still a lot of internal resistance to the idea, probably because I've spent many years conditioned to using it all the time.

But I'm hopeful that things will get better. I'm progressing on the gym, learning to trade to make some income on the side, meeting a few people on dates here and there.
 

Dannybou

Member
[day 25]

It goes on. Still in the flatline. I feel fine otherwise.

This is the day I relapsed last time. For some strange reason I have intense cravings to eat junk food, smoke, and maybe even watch porn. I don't know if this is a sort of pattern, or if this is a phase my brain needs to go through, but whatever I'm determined to stay off the porn and cigarettes this time. I might have some nice shawarma though 😅
 
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Dannybou

Member
[day 27]

New longest streak, woohoo!

This flatline is getting to me. Had a date yesterday and took some cialis before just in case, but I'm still not confident in my ability to get a sustained erection. We didn't get to that situation, unfortunately (or fortunately). I'll have more dates coming up soon. This is annoying, not sure if there's anything I can really do.
 
[day 27]

New longest streak, woohoo!

This flatline is getting to me. Had a date yesterday and took some cialis before just in case, but I'm still not confident in my ability to get a sustained erection. We didn't get to that situation, unfortunately (or fortunately). I'll have more dates coming up soon. This is annoying, not sure if there's anything I can really do.
Congratulations on the new longest strike, Danny! It is great to watch your progress and how you fight your previous life-style.
I understand your anxiety about performing in a bed, and I had the same feelings several years ago. Even though I did not know about my condition as much at the time as I do now, I refused my friends to go to sex tours because I had several fails with girls back then, but did not know what it was about. I had several times when I could not perform, and I would take sialis the next time to surprise the girl, but it does not help in a long run, especially if you have problems with veins. The best approach is not to rush, and keep reminding yourself that you are on the right track. I do not know about your relationship with this new lady, but I believe that it will be better to slow things down and have a spiritual connection first, and then you can try to fight your condition together!

Good Luck and keep going!
 

Dannybou

Member
Congratulations on the new longest strike, Danny! It is great to watch your progress and how you fight your previous life-style.
I understand your anxiety about performing in a bed, and I had the same feelings several years ago. Even though I did not know about my condition as much at the time as I do now, I refused my friends to go to sex tours because I had several fails with girls back then, but did not know what it was about. I had several times when I could not perform, and I would take sialis the next time to surprise the girl, but it does not help in a long run, especially if you have problems with veins. The best approach is not to rush, and keep reminding yourself that you are on the right track. I do not know about your relationship with this new lady, but I believe that it will be better to slow things down and have a spiritual connection first, and then you can try to fight your condition together!

Good Luck and keep going!
Thank you for the encouragement mate, means a lot! Yes but these dates are usually expected to go along a certain way, so I don't really know how to discuss the topic or if she'll be ok with it. Lets see!

Day 29.
 

Dannybou

Member
[day 31]

I'm having a shitty day, for a bunch of reasons that I don't feel like getting into. Point is it's the sort of day that the pull of some nice porn is at its strongest, gotta remember that it's just going to pull me back into it's shitty situation. Gotta focus on the present and getting whatever I need to get done, done.
 

Dannybou

Member
[day 34]

I've been struggling a bit psychologically. It's like my brain is screaming at me to get a fix of either cigarettes, or porn or junk food. Based on a post by someone else - link - I've tried taking NAC (N-acetyl cysteine) today (600 mg) to cut the cravings.

I feel a lot better. Will monitor it over the coming days to see if I should keep continuing with it
 
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Dannybou

Member
[day 36]

Suddenly ended up getting a libido again, and ended up masterbating a couple of times, without porn. Won't count this as a relapse as I'm not on hard mode, but I need to be careful to avoid the chaser effect.
 

Dannybou

Member
[day 39]

Yesterday I ended up hooking up with a girl I knew from before. I was getting erections but they were intermittent and not strong enough to penetrate with a condom. Also I struggled with staying in the moment and not playing porn scenes in my head while with her.

Bleh. Porn really is so fucking evil.
 
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