Trying to recover all I might lose.

Hello and thank you in advance.

I have been married for almost 11 years and known my partner for over 13 years. I am living in Mexico but actually a British National.

In the past few days I have been extremely depressed and saddened by what I did to severely damage my marriage of the the love so dear. My issue is not so much Porn Videos but more pictures. I do not know why I am so interested in collecting pictures and follow certain profiles on Tik Tok, Instagram, Pinterest, etc of various Women for no benefit at all. I say with no benefit to myself because I never go back to the profiles to browse further, it is like I have a fetish of collecting pictures or profiles of women. I know this seems very strange and I want this to stop.

Well this is my first post and I really want to be able to stop this completely. I hope to continue this journal each day so I can help record and explain the situation better. Thanks.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Hey Dangernouse - welcome and know that you have found a good and safe harbour where there are others who came to the exact same spot as you are right now ... and decided it was time to stop ... not yet knowing if it was even possible for them or how to do it ... but just genuinely desiring a way out. I would highly recommend you check out the associated videos and YBOP website and the related success stories .. as I am sure you will see much of yourself in what you are reading and seeing.

Stay strong and just as you mentioned keep up the daily journaling as it will also be a big part of making your way to a much better place.
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Welcome, Dangermouse!

I did something similar on Pinterest, and Instagram- but I revisited them periodically. But I, too, was like a collector.

You say there was no benefit, but you can understand that you did get at least a boost of dopamine, some kind of 'high' that perhaps helped ease the stress or pain of life.

Eventually, this thing became a habit, even an addiction. And now you're here.

You can stop this, even in a matter of 4 to 6 months, you can totally change this behavior and be free of it.

We're here to support each other, so, any way I can help, just let me know.
 
Hey Dangernouse - welcome and know that you have found a good and safe harbour where there are others who came to the exact same spot as you are right now ... and decided it was time to stop ... not yet knowing if it was even possible for them or how to do it ... but just genuinely desiring a way out. I would highly recommend you check out the associated videos and YBOP website and the related success stories .. as I am sure you will see much of yourself in what you are reading and seeing.

Stay strong and just as you mentioned keep up the daily journaling as it will also be a big part of making your way to a much better place.
Thank you for the welcoming words and I am going to work as hard a possible to make a better me and fix the huge issues I have.

I will check out the videos and YBOP website with its stories for help and inspiration and continue with my daily journals for mental help.
 
Welcome, Dangermouse!

I did something similar on Pinterest, and Instagram- but I revisited them periodically. But I, too, was like a collector.

You say there was no benefit, but you can understand that you did get at least a boost of dopamine, some kind of 'high' that perhaps helped ease the stress or pain of life.

Eventually, this thing became a habit, even an addiction. And now you're here.

You can stop this, even in a matter of 4 to 6 months, you can totally change this behavior and be free of it.

We're here to support each other, so, any way I can help, just let me know.
Thank you so much for the welcoming and helpful words. I know I am not alone and knowing that there are people out there really helps knowing the same issue.

I am already working on plans to change a lot of things in my life and hopefully save what I could lose completely.

Thanks
 
Day 6.
So it has been almost a week when all these problems started and at the moment everything has calmed down a little. For almost a week I have not looked or even scrolled any irregular content and when I see it I just scroll past without a second glance. I am happy so far with the progress I am making and focusing on other avenues. Working on projects doing jobs around the house, etc.
 
Day 7.
Continuing with my journals has been helpful and very useful with keeping a track and log of my activities. I have been feeling a lot more positive and focusing on my work ethic. Still have not been interested in scrolling or even looking for problematic content and that is really good. I am happy with my progress.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
day 7! thats literally a week! it may sound weird, but cling on to that feeling of self disgust and loathing that you have when recalling how fucked up porn has made your life. ride that feeling to safety! its an extremely powerful motivator never to experience it again, it should make you tremble with fear at the very thought of ever feeling like that again. and all because of some images on a screen!? bullshit.
keep posting here and getting your questions asked!
 
day 7! thats literally a week! it may sound weird, but cling on to that feeling of self disgust and loathing that you have when recalling how fucked up porn has made your life. ride that feeling to safety! its an extremely powerful motivator never to experience it again, it should make you tremble with fear at the very thought of ever feeling like that again. and all because of some images on a screen!? bullshit.
keep posting here and getting your questions asked!
Thank you Fappy. I will talk those words into account. It does make me feel disgusted and ashamed and that is a good motivator to continue on this journey.
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Keep going. 7 days becomes 14. 14 becomes 21 and so on. I'm only at 35 days, but I'm feeling pretty good. A few strong urges here and there but for the most part I'm feeling good. Hope you are as well.
 
Keep going. 7 days becomes 14. 14 becomes 21 and so on. I'm only at 35 days, but I'm feeling pretty good. A few strong urges here and there but for the most part I'm feeling good. Hope you are as well.
Keep up the good work guitar1968. 35 days is good. I am glad you have controlled your urges and beaten. I sure you will crack it.
 
Day 8.
Still going according to plan and still not urges or needs. Super happy to have gone over a week. It may not be a lot but that is a good start to beating my addiction. Will keep focusing on positives and continue to listen and learn form other members experiences.
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Awesome work Dangermouse! Keep going strong - I too found it was pretty amazing to finally hit my 7 day streak ... and it opened my eyes for the first time to the possibility that true recovery was actually possible for me. Great stuff.
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Day 8.
Still going according to plan and still not urges or needs. Super happy to have gone over a week. It may not be a lot but that is a good start to beating my addiction. Will keep focusing on positives and continue to listen and learn form other members experiences.
8 days is fantastic! You know how many times I said to myself "never again" and 2 days later I was right back at it. Keep going. Life is better without the porn. It really is. You got this!
 
Day 9.
Been having a very busy day with helping family members and organising various things. No urges so far and feeling a whole lot better in myself. I see a lot less irritation in myself as well and more of a focus.
 
8 days is fantastic! You know how many times I said to myself "never again" and 2 days later I was right back at it. Keep going. Life is better without the porn. It really is. You got this!
Thanks. I feel a lot better in myself as a person and much for focused.
 
Day 10.
Been working a lot on projects and slowly getting back on my wife's good books. She is still a little sad but seems to realise I am trying very hard to defeat these addictions. Still have no urges to scroll or even look for incorrect content. Happy with my progress.
 
Day 11.
Had a really good day spending a lot of time with my wife and talking a lot about my addiction. Decided we would have a day out and take some photos for her business and it was amazed by. I feel so much better and connected in my relationship. This gave me so much drive to keep going and making myself a much better person. No issues or urges.
 
Day 12.
Still all clear with no urges or drive to break my streak. I have really found a lot of energy mentally and physically during these past days. My wife is really seeing the difference and hopes I can continue without the urge of scrolling through picture after picture. Still not wanted to look at various pages on my phone and that is a bonus.
 
Top