I am going to end 14 years long hidden nightmare

Puggler

Active Member
Day 90

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 0%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 08:05
Libido: 3/10
Mood: average

Well... I have finished 90 days hard mode. Today when i tried fantasizing about my gf while looking at her i got a brief boner. I definitely believe ed pills will work for now. Rebooting definitely works but it needs much more time than 90 days I guess.
 

spartacus

New Member
Love your mindset there! Changing your habits, lifestyle and self-image will definitely help you get results faster.
Here's a guy that discusses the stages we go through while recovering from porn addiction. It has helped me get a lot of clarity.

Let me know if it helps
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 93

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 60%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 08:05
Libido: 3/10
Mood: average

I believe that there is completely Zero chance if anyone who has PIED and accomplish 90 days hardmode, not to feel great effect. I consider myself one of the severe case and even me when i lie down and touch myself i ger super hard boner. Its been already 20 days that i touch myself and i get super hard. There was only couple of days last 20 days that i was completely dead. After 70th day i feel my penis fuller much warmer and sensitive. I strongly believe that if i go another 3 month hardmode i will be definitely fully cured. Now i get boners only while lying down. They are really hard and last long time but i cant consider myself fully cured unless i get boner while standing.
I'm rock hard while writing it down, I mean i dont even think about anything sexualy or keep on touching myself but in still hard. This is a HUGE difference what i was 92 days ago and now.
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 97

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 50%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 08:00
Libido: 0/10
Mood: average

Basically i got one day long flatlines now. Most days i have morning wood and i can get hard erections(but only when im lying down or sitting and giving hand stimulation)
Yesterday my girlfriend kissed me and i got hard boner while sitting. This never happened before. Personally i start realizing that this is not actually illness but a temporal decrease of libido which can last long time.
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 102

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 50%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 07:00
Libido: 0/10
Mood: average

Cant get hard while touching. Back to flatline, close to dead dick. The improvement which always stays with me is penis shrinkage is off. It is off since around 60-70th day and has not ever get back since that days. Im happy about it. Coldness still present some times. I noticed that after every flatline i get out of it and the erection is getting stronger!
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 103

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 70%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 07:00
Libido: 0/10
Mood: average

Morning wood is really super consistent but not super hard. When i stand up it always fading away.
Penis feels fuller weaker flatline and takes longer to get erected while touching
 
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Puggler

Active Member
Day 105

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 70%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 07:00
Libido: 0/10
Mood: average

Complete death. Zero libido. Hard Coldness, penile shrinkage. Can get hard in 3 mimutes while constant manual stimulation. I didnt expect this kind of worsening.
 
Day 105

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 70%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 07:00
Libido: 0/10
Mood: average

Complete death. Zero libido. Hard Coldness, penile shrinkage. Can get hard in 3 mimutes while constant manual stimulation. I didnt expect this kind of worsening.
Shit stay strong
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 108

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 0%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 12:00
Libido: 0/10
Mood: depressed

I dont know what is happening. I feel like zero and im depressed. Feels like my gf doesnt want to be intimate with me anymore. Hasnt kissed me forawhile. Doesnt come to my apartment. Well... I wish this illness didnt exist.
 

Puggler

Active Member
Im so stressed and depressed. Will I ever get cured? I dont want to lose my gf. We are in love so much. Is there hope for me at all?
438 days in reboot
109 days in hard mode
What the fuck can i do??
Couple of days ago i could get hard while lying and touching myself, now back to dead penis again.
Im desperate
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 110

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 0%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 12:00
Libido: 1/10
Mood: average

After each dead dick, when small flatlines end i have better responsiveness to sexual thoughts. In other words when i fantasizs i get harder erections
 

k-fff

Active Member
Day 110

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 0%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 12:00
Libido: 1/10
Mood: average

After each dead dick, when small flatlines end i have better responsiveness to sexual thoughts. In other words when i fantasizs i get harder erections
Have you thought about maybe you’re extending the flatline by fantasizing and the stimulating by hand? You have been going for a long time so I get your freaking out. I probably would too if I were you. But I think constantly worrying about this isn’t helping.
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 111

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 0%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 10:00
Libido: ??/10
Mood: average

For the first time I have a HUGE urge to fap. I literaly want to fap hard. I dont know what my mind is up but i really hope it is pointing out what is urge and what is libido. Because right now i need manual stimulation to get erected. Next time i hope when i have urge it will enable to get erected with thoughts.
Day 440th of the nofap Journey.
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 113

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 90%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 7:00
Libido: 1/10
Mood: average

Penis is fuller and warmer. Getting hard is easier than normal
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 114

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 90%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 8:00
Libido: 3/10
Mood: average

The penis feels fuller warmer more sensitive. I still cant get erected with fantasy only but with manuak stimulation i get harder erections
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 118(447)

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 90%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 8:00
Libido: 3/10
Mood: above average

I think today is one big step towards the cure. I have noticed my dick is much fuller than ever, i get really hard with fantasy while lying down on my bed And I'm horny.
 

Puggler

Active Member
This is insane! I get hard really easily. Just lying down in bed and touching myself with slight fantasies will start getting me erected. This is really good improvement. Im still waiting for new flatline but thr thing i noticed is after each flatline i get better and better improvements and flatline duration is getting shorter
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Im so stressed and depressed. Will I ever get cured? I dont want to lose my gf. We are in love so much. Is there hope for me at all?
438 days in reboot
109 days in hard mode
What the fuck can i do??
Couple of days ago i could get hard while lying and touching myself, now back to dead penis again.
Im desperate
wow, you have come a long way. I'm glad to see your latest update shows you're improving. Persevere brother, persevere
 

Puggler

Active Member
Day 119(448)

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 0%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 8:00
Libido: 0/10
Mood: slightly depressed

I genuinly feel like im tired. Tired of all of this. Tired of being alive. I want to go and never come back. Im afraid of never curing this. Im afraid of staying alone forever. Im afraid and tired. Total dead dick syndrom for today.
 
Day 119(448)

Day statistics:

Morning wood: 0%
Exercise: 0
Sleep duration: 8:00
Libido: 0/10
Mood: slightly depressed

I genuinly feel like im tired. Tired of all of this. Tired of being alive. I want to go and never come back. Im afraid of never curing this. Im afraid of staying alone forever. Im afraid and tired. Total dead dick syndrom for today.
Hey puggler!
Hold on! I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling. Just looking over your journal, I can see you have had successful moments and that you are healing. Like everyone on here says. It just takes time.
If you're like me, we have spent A LOT of time building this habit.
My friend told me, imagine having that path in your yard, you've waled it for years. It's now hard ground. One day you decide to take a new route. How long does it take to have the grass regrow and cover up that old path? A long time. But it's worth it. I have to believe its worth it.
We are here for you.
 
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