Hardest Part Is Restarting

yogi

Active Member
That's right, this is a big problem for me. Anytime I leave my house, I come back ready to relapse. We can't really eliminate those, maybe only if we could go out there and change the world. I blame social media for a lot of this. Social media made those type of pictures not be seen as softcore porn in disguise, now the "threshold" is higher, now people don't consider those things "indecent". The boundaries have been crossed. Stuff like that was for Playboy magazines and stuff like that. I mean, seriously, I don't want to bring triggers here by detailing what pictures I've seen on Facebook. On fuckin Facebook. Anyway, like I said, we can't eliminate them we can only manage how we react to them. We need a strategy to deal with the urges and looking away when we see something. I don't know what else to do.
Escape you are absolutely right.
I relapsed past 2 days to.......guess what.......Instagram!
Not even porn!

But what we do know is that we have to conquer ourselves. We have to conquer our addictions. Fact is, sources of addiction have existed, and will continue to exist, for as long as human beings are around. We can't change that.
 

Gigili

Member
Escape you are absolutely right.
I relapsed past 2 days to.......guess what.......Instagram!
Not even porn!

But what we do know is that we have to conquer ourselves. We have to conquer our addictions. Fact is, sources of addiction have existed, and will continue to exist, for as long as human beings are around. We can't change that.
I also had the problem with the social media. I first deleted Facebook and Instagram from my phone. Then I realized that the phone itself is a trigger for me. Most of the time I just check my phone out of boredom then I get more bored ending up in PMO.

Last week I did the right thing and purchased a simple non-smart phone without internet. I don't carry my smart phone around with me any more during the day. I just keep it hidden in the home. Unfortunately it is not easy not to carry it and I sometimes face some problems, accessing my bank accounts, google maps, etc which I don't have access in this simple phone. But I am determined not to carry my smart phone with me again until at least a couple of months from now.
 

zaraki888

Active Member
Is the monk mode really possible these days?! I feel everything around us is sexualulized. Unless you lock yourself in a closet, you will encounter something during the day. Either on the internet, on street, on TV, etc. We can limit it though. But it won't take long until you see something. When I have urges, sometimes even some ads on the billboards are arousing. I have no idea how I can eliminate these. Any suggestions?
Hello Gigili, my apologize for my late respond. I suffer stress sometimes when being here on this forum. Therefore I avoid responding or writing as stress is for me the main cause of relapsing.

You are correct. It is everywhere. However there is a way that helps me. I figured out for myself there is a time period before I am getting aroused when seeing women walking on the street or as you mentioned ads on the billboard. I would call it for myself the 2 second rule or a user with the name bigbookofpenis calls it ''the no arousal method. I just added a time period.

Dopamine needs time to be released and thoughts and what we see happens much quicker I have realized. We can stop the arousal feelings when we respond quickly on time. No second longer, no stare. 2 second maximum or even 0.5 second. Unfortunate, once you already feel the withdrawal symptoms, urges and cravings, then this technique doesn't really work anymore. Too late, you are already triggered, dopamine has been released. Then you have the option to resist urges or relieve it with a session, which is much more difficult. Also when you got stuck in the chaser effect, this technique won't work either.

This is for instance what I do

Street: when I see women, I look away quick. I don't check her out.

Tv: I don't random watch tv programs. I am on guard all the time and will look away when I see something that might trigger me
I didn't watch movies I don't know. I keep my eyes on female faces, not her chest or body. If I find her attractive, I look away or stop watching further just in case.

Internet: I don't have facebook. I watch educational video's, listen music, products reviews, .....If I check the recommended video page and I see women, I look away quick.

Also please know that it isn't the killing that we want as addicts, it is the seek and search to novelty super stimulus according to the book easypease.

This means as I far as I understand, we don't even have to see a p video. The moment we decide we want to search something up like an old girlfriend from highschool if she has pictures on the interent, dopamine release could already start happening, which then followed by strong urges.
 

zaraki888

Active Member
Same, man. 50 days, made a mistake and Boom! My best streak after that was maybe 7 days or so. I don't know about the 90 days, will urges go away by then? Cause on day 50 I had massive urges.
I read the Easypease book as you did too. It looks like temptation is still happening here and there. However are you really sure you did not peek or did something that ignited the chain reaction of urges?
 
I read the Easypease book as you did too. It looks like temptation is still happening here and there. However are you really sure you did not peek or did something that ignited the chain reaction of urges?
I don't peek. I do a pretty good job at staying away from porn but my biggest problem is porn flashbacks and fantasies. That's how it starts. I have a long history of preference to masturbate to porn related fantasies and porn flashbacks.
 

zaraki888

Active Member
I don't peek. I do a pretty good job at staying away from porn but my biggest problem is porn flashbacks and fantasies. That's how it starts. I have a long history of preference to masturbate to porn related fantasies and porn flashbacks.
Ah I see. The good thing is you don't peak. I am not sure if this could help you a bit. Do you know multitasking does not exist? The brain cannot do two things at the same time. What really happens is that the brain switches from one task to another task so it looks like people can multi task. What if you could try to occupy your mind for an hour when those flashbacks and fantasies occur in your mind until they are gone? I did this for myself surviving the first three weeks.

Or maybe there is still something else happening before you get those flashbacks. If I suffer stress or don't eat on time, I get images of women in my mind out of nowhere. I took me some time to figure this out for myself why it happens.

If those flashbacks are really crazy hot, I have another way to deal with them. Notice when we find a video we think this is the best sexy video I found but after orgasm, the second time the video doesn't do it anymore. Before I started my reboot again, I watched everything I like (all my dreams, fantasies) until I got so bored I couldn't get an erection anymore without touching myself and I really had to do my best searching a video to get the job done. I used edging and trick the brain into believing I orgasm and lose interest in those video's. The easypease book write about it. I remembered how I felt and this helps me so far to remember it isn't worth it. But I wouldn't recommend it to you at the moment unless you struggle to reach 7 or 14 days and this takes up to weeks or even months going back and forth.
 
Or maybe there is still something else happening before you get those flashbacks. If I suffer stress or don't eat on time, I get images of women in my mind out of nowhere. I took me some time to figure this out for myself why it happens.
Definitely. In moments of discomfort I can get massive urges.
 
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