Just Marking the Time:(No responses needed)

Artemus

Active Member
Day 2, (No PMO)

It's been a minute since I was on RN, I'm of the OG RN understanding on PMO, its all or nothing. Making compromises and allowances is dishonest and dishonorable to those who've achieved the, "HARD 90" and maintained it. I also don't agree with others POV in regards to whether this is an addiction or not, I don't think that is an accurate description, at least for me(YMMV). Addiction to me implies being unable to function without something, but I've proven multiple times I can function without PMO, so that's why I see it more as a sinful habit than addiction, at least IMHO. I will admit there were times in my past where I felt an animalistic drive to PMO, but I never experienced what would be described as withdrawal, no ED, no sweats, no shakes, no illegal activity to attain it.

In scripture there are some verses that deal with certain sexual sins and that if you engage in these activities that God will give you over to that sin. I think that is what happened to me and it wasn't until I "truly repented" and believed in "true faith" that things began to turn for me. For years I tried all the man made human strategies, but at the end of the day, no matter how caged off I made myself from PMO, I still wanted it. You see my heart was the issue and my heart needed a change that I myself couldn't provide. It took years, lots of tears and strife, financial distress and shame, but He finally got my attention and bowed my stiff neck.

I'm using RN this time as more of a chronicle for myself and have no intention of replying to others journals. Maybe that sounds selfish, but their are times in life where being selfish is required to save ones self. In order to save a drowning man you can't jump in with him while he's still flailing about or he'll drag you under too. Don't feel compelled to respond as I only post for my own benefit and to keep count of my progress.
 
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Artemus

Active Member
Day 3, (No PMO)

Yesterday I had some thoughts, some feelings that usually propel me to PMO, I did not. I subscribe to Russell Brand's youtube channel and he often discusses his methods on dealing with PMO. So yesterday I used some of his method. For me "Stress" and "Boredom" are my main triggers, I've always been a daydreamer and indulging that habit typically leads to PMO. Instead of just yielding to the stress of yesterday I just waited and while I waited I focused on redirecting my thoughts and taking them captive, the way the Bible instructs us to. Over the course of the last year I've learned a lot more about myself and that some of my struggle is rooted in my diet. Obviously I made the choice many years ago to begin PMO'ing and then as I grew I cultivated that habitual response to stress. More later.
 
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guitar1968

Active Member
I know you say no responses needed, does that mean you really don't want replies? If so, I'll happily shut up and go away.

Your story is very similar to mine and I'm guessing we're close in age. My ups and downs have been very similar and I've really finally had it. So here I am. Talking to people on these journals has been a great help and that's the only reason I'm replying. We all are here, over 40, been using for years and we all want to stop. Let us know if we can help in any way, even if that is to not respond.

Good luck to you. I know you can do it this time.
 

Artemus

Active Member
I know you say no responses needed, does that mean you really don't want replies? If so, I'll happily shut up and go away.

Your story is very similar to mine and I'm guessing we're close in age. My ups and downs have been very similar and I've really finally had it. So here I am. Talking to people on these journals has been a great help and that's the only reason I'm replying. We all are here, over 40, been using for years and we all want to stop. Let us know if we can help in any way, even if that is to not respond.

Good luck to you. I know you can do it this time.
Day 4, (No PMO)

I appreciate your words of encouragement. As to responses I guess the best way to put it is I'm not looking for them, but kinds words are always helpful. I use to participate more and interact with others about what it means to do the "Hard 90" but as time went on the definition of that became so watered down by others that I just ended up keeping to myself. Many newbies I encountered just made up their own rules which were so full of compromise it was senseless and fruitless to respond to them. This journal is so I can mark the time and chronicle any info I think might be valuable to others, but if a man wants to or needs to interact with me I won't turn him down.
 
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Artemus

Active Member
Day 5, (No PMO)

In many ways I feel like a veteran of this war, I've been in it for so long its just part of normal, which is sad. I use to get caught up in the disappointment, the wasted time, the failures, but my experience has taught me that dwelling on those things only helps drive the cycle of behavior. YMMV, but for me the main drivers that kept me coming back to PMO was rooted in negative emotion and thoughts.
  • Boredom
  • Frustration
  • Anxiety
  • Disappointment
  • Stress
  • Risk
These are generally the emotions and situations that I used PMO to escape from, which was another epiphany I had about my own behavior, my own habits. The, "why"? I'm not sure if its an inherited trait or a learned behavior, but my father does it as well, he does things to avoid facing these same emotions and situations. Please understand I'm not looking to judge my father, but in observing how he lives and makes decisions I looked at myself and saw similar patterns, only I use different tools to do the same thing, which is to escape and or avoid uncomfortable feelings and situations. Mt father is extremely risk averse, he also denies anything negative has having happened as a standard response. For years this was maddening to me, for example I'd say, "Hey, the heats not working in this car!" and his response would be to reach down under the dash feeling inside the vent for any wisp of heat and respond, "No its fine I can feel some in the vent..." Now any logical person would surmise, you shouldn't have to go "looking" for the heat, it should be obvious if its working or not by just sitting in the car. For him everything boils down to not spending any money and avoiding all change. This actually happened, he made my mother(nearing retirement) drive her car for nearly an entire winter with no heat because he refused to face the fact that the car needed repair. I finally had to drive 5 hours round trip, take the car to a repair shop myself to get it fixed. Whats crazy is he has plenty of money, but his default position is just to deny anything has changed. He played the same game with his health until he had to have 7 heart bypasses, followed by 4 stints 10 years later because of his refusal to deal with uncomfortable things, until they get so big you can't ignore them any longer. He use to make me very angry being like this, but God tapped me on the shoulder and showed me that even though I'm different I do exhibit similar tendencies. The difference being instead of living in denial, I attempt to run away or escape with PMO and other distractions.

The internet offers an infinite sea of distractions, news, gossip, sex, violence, games and the list goes on. The internet, like fire arms or instructional videos is a tool we can choose to do good productive things with or we can choose to do ourselves and others harm with the very same. A fire arm can protect and defend or be used in a terrible crime, the user decides which. The same is true of the web.

Lately I've been watching Russell Brand, he shares his struggles with substance abuse and porn. RB shared how one day he and a friend were getting ready to look at porn and he stopped and said, "wait, what if we just sit here and let the feelings pass?". So they did, they waited and the urge subsided. Emotions are like that, they wax and wane, but they inevitably pass. I've been practicing this as well as redirecting or taking my thoughts captive. A wondering mind is a soft target for PMO, and sadly i've struggled with ADD/ADHD my whole life. My 1st grade teacher labeled me a daydreamer very early on and its true, I often wonder if I'm not on the "spectrum" or if I was effected by vaccines I got as a child. I still am prone to mind wandering but have noticed its effected by my diet and prescriptions as well. That's it, just some tidbits I wanted to jot down, random thoughts. Porn as a genre has an infinite range of novelty and that for me is what maintains its attraction as a distraction agent. You'll never reach the end of whats possible to view, somebody somewhere has done it and filmed it. In the end though, its all just chocolate cake and it'll give you diabetes and rot your teeth without ever satisfying you...
 
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Artemus

Active Member
I wanted to share today just some thoughts, observations and facts I've discovered along my journey in and out of PMO. Too often its easy to forget that the images that have brought us pleasure are actual people with lives outside what we see. They are, or were at some point someones baby, their little girl, their sister and a friend. In our rush for self gratification we lose sight of them as people, as being a person with feelings, problems and grief. All we see is a collection of body parts, possibly selected in a search criteria that most likely pleases us in that moment. These images are appealing not just for their appearance but also because they never say, "No". I just felt it necessary for myself and anyone reading to remind us that these are people, most likely getting paid, but also possibly being coerced, forced and/or threatened to perform. This isn't love on display, its NOT just some harmless fun, it was never meant for us to share our sex and our partners with the general public. Sex is suppose to be between man and wife, a celebration of their affection for each other and the creation of children.

No matter how you spin things or tell yourself lies to justify it, PORN does harm. To take intimacy and make a show of it, to put sex on display, hurts those being seen and those who watch. The harm comes in many many forms: shame, jealousy, guilt, anxiety, depression, ED, disease, suicide, murder, substance abuse, physical abuse, cutting, and on and on. Porn has always also been interwoven with the criminal underworld and taking it mainstream won't fix that. Sex is powerful, it evokes the most intense emotions we have. When used as it was intended it binds a husband and wife together and promotes unity and appreciation and worth. When you turn that on its head and misuse it you get jealousy, rage, shame, betrayal, etc.

Love inspires you to new heights, Lust conversly takes you to untold darkness and kills Love. Lust is not the same thing as physical attraction to a SO, lust is about selfishness, dominance and control. Ask any performer, they will tell you that they feel nothing for their co-stars, they merely use their bodies as masturbation implements, no different than humping a sex doll, which is just plain sad.

My final tidbit is this, most don't know or care to look, but the average death rate of a porn star is 37 years old and suicide, murder, drug overdose and disease are the most common causes. Regular people make it 78, so what that means is the people we derive our pleasure from are rewarded with a life expectancy of less than half a non-porn average joe. My soul can't carry the weight of continuing on this path. No more.
 
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I wanted to share today just some thoughts, observations and facts I've discovered along my journey in and out of PMO. Too often its easy to forget that the images that have brought us pleasure are actual people with lives outside what we see. They are, or were at some point someones baby, their little girl, their sister and a friend. In our rush for self gratification we lose sight of them as people, as being a person with feelings, problems and grief. All we see is a collection of body parts, possibly selected in a search criteria that most likely pleases us in that moment. These images are appealing not just for their appearance but also because they never say, "No". I just felt it necessary for myself and anyone reading to remind us that these are people, most likely getting paid, but also possibly being coerced, forced and/or threatened to perform. This isn't love on display, its NOT just some harmless fun, it was never meant for us to share our sex and our partners with the general public. Sex is suppose to be between man and wife, a celebration of their affection for each other and the creation of children.

No matter how you spin things or tell yourself lies to justify it, PORN does harm. To take intimacy and make a show of it, to put sex on display, hurts those being seen and those who watch. The harm comes in many many forms: shame, jealousy, guilt, anxiety, depression, ED, disease, suicide, murder, substance abuse, physical abuse, cutting, and on and on. Porn has always also been interwoven with the criminal underworld and taking it mainstream won't fix that. Sex is powerful, it evokes the most intense emotions we have. When used as it was intended it binds a husband and wife together and promotes unity and appreciation and worth. When you turn that on its head and misuse it you get jealousy, rage, shame, betrayal, etc.

Love inspires you to new heights, Lust conversly takes you to untold darkness and kills Love. Lust is not the same thing as physical attraction to a SO, lust is about selfishness, dominance and control. Ask any performer, they will tell you that they feel nothing for their co-stars, they merely use their bodies as masturbation implements, no different than humping a sex doll, which is just plain sad.

My final tidbit is this, most don't know or care to look, but the average death rate of a porn star is 37 years old and suicide, murder, drug overdose and disease are the most common causes. Regular people make it 78, so what that means is the people we derive our pleasure from are rewarded with a life expectancy of less than half a non-porn average joe. My soul can't carry the weight of continuing on this path. No more.

I agree with so much of this.

Addictions tend to exploit the vulnerable, whether those involved in the production of the addictive substance or, in this case, media, whilst those who are vulnerable can find themselves lost in it as users. That addiction can be about an emotional pain, and that pain needs to be healed, not exploited. It can also be a source of great emotional pain for those whose loved ones find themselves addicted and unable to have loving relationships, etc.

I found it hard not to look at those who I was interacting with on chat and cam sites and wonder if they were all as damaged as I felt I was. Some are, no question.
 

Artemus

Active Member
My bag is packed, I've checked out and turned in my keys, I've left the PMO Motel. Unlike the Hotel California, you CAN leave PMO. So much wasted time, so much wasted money, so much deception, but I am forgiven and day by day the appeal of PMO once had for me has fallen away.


1 John 1:5-10 English Standard Version (ESV)


Walking in the Light​

5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
 

Artemus

Active Member
I'm still clicking days, the urge still occasionally crosses my mind, but less frequently. Something that occurred to me recently, in the past when an attack would arise is, I'd try to say in my head, "No, I don't want to do that" and for a few minutes or hours the urge would pass. Then when it did return, and each time would be more intense until I'd just give in to get some relief. Lately I've consciously been responding in my head from a less weaker POV. Instead of responding in a, "Please, no..." frame of mind, I instead say in my head, "What if I don't give in? What then?" and just move on. So now I just sit after posing the question to the attack/temptation, I go back to what I was doing and then just let the urge kinda wash over me, pass thru me, feeling it flow in from the top of my head, down my spine and thru my body and then out thru my feet and toes onto the floor and gone. Now I'm also consciously not thinking sexual thoughts, no sexy music or TV and I'm making it a point not to joke or make suggestive comments either.

In a way its become like an exploration, an exploration to see what lies beyond the, "urge of the now", to see what is out there for me beyond an hour, beyond a day, a week, a month, a year... I've lived a life with PMO, I know what that is like, how it promises something it can not and does not deliver. Out of fear, out of habit, out of believing a lie, I have let PMO derail and sidetrack my life. For what? I didn't get a better relationship, I didn't get intamacy or lasting bliss or joy thru PMO. All I got was diminishing returns of excitement that faded quicker and quicker after each event, that took more and more stimulation to achieve and left me with guilt and shame.

Actual sex with my wife is the opposite, spending time with her brings greater and greater returns and fulfillment. So if you are reading this and your struggling in the loop of, "Wash, Rinse, Repeat", ask yourself the next time you feel it coming on, "What if I don't do that? What is beyond this?" and just let it pass thru you, over you and disappear. Lets go see what we've been missing out on, lets see whats over the next hill.
 

Artemus

Active Member
Not sure how many days I actually have today, my counter is downstairs. Since I've started this journal I have had a couple of setbacks, but no bingefests. I was watching a video about Aldous Huxley's book, "Brave New World" earlier and how it talked about how in the future they would control us with pleasure, ie drugs, sex, food, etc. The video then went on to discuss how they had learned that positive feedback is better at forming habits and desired behavior than negative. Negative works briefly, but over the long run a positive reward works best. This got me to thinking about me and my experience thus far with Porn and how for me it went hand in hand with MO. Lately, if I did venture to look at some porn I refused to MO or even touch myself and this made resisting easier as the porn typically disgusts me now anyway. Without the MO to provide a pleasurable reward it made it much easier to just walk away from the Porn. Ironically this wasnt something I consciously set out to do, it was more of a line I decided I didnt want to cross, so when I looked at the images they just seemed sad instead of exciting. So now, some 3 weeks later there abouts, I don't have that mad desire to P,M and O. When the thoughts come I just try to relax and let them pass, but I don't engage and I don't stimulate myself in the slightest. Anyway, just some random thoughts and discoveries. Praying helps, having faith is a must and learning to give yourself a different positive reward instead of wanking.
 

Artemus

Active Member
Day 14,

I've had a couple of minor 1 day stumbles along the way, but instead of letting it take me into a death spiral, I just picked back up, moved on and focused on understanding "Why". I'm not a believer in streak building, I just think when you finally get to the root of "Why we/I PMO?" and deal with it honestly then we will have permanent freedom, we just won't need or want it anymore. I forget how I came across a certain performer yesterday, but I did a search and that led to some clips. When I clicked on thje clip and it started I didn't feel excitement, I felt shame and sadness, for both her and myself. So I closed the clip without finishing it and left and didn't go back. In years past I've had instances where I felt compelled and/or driven to PMO, just mad with it. I've had nights I couldn't sleep unless I got up and PMO'd, even after sleeping with my wife. I asked God for a new heart and day by day I'm getting one, but I do have a responsibilty to keep it healthy. I am NOT a powerless victim, I chose this sinful path many years ago, maybe not consciously, but I chose to do it none the less. Now its my responsibility to build healthier habits to replace the nasty one I cultivated for so long. We have the power to chose what path we follow and if we have weakness we must confess to that weakness, but take the needed steps to sure those areas up. If we leave our walls in disarray or the doors unlocked then the enemy will simply stroll in. Build your fortress and get help where you need it.
 

Artemus

Active Member
Day 15,

Crossing the 2 week threshold has been a while, I had been in a cycle of 8 days for a bit. I'm not sure or don't remember if that's a significant time frame biologically but I do remember that as the Delta FosB is depleted that I will experience urges to replenish those levels.

Today I'm feeling stress, quite heavily, both my parents are elderly, 82 and 77 as well as my uncle who is 67. All 3 are tiring to deal with: My father is convinced his doctor has been experimenting on him because he changed his medication dosage without telling him. I don't classify that as experimenting, but my father naturally tends to be a bit paranoid and conspiratorial when it comes to certain things. My mother has nothing nice to say about my father and likes to manipulate those around her for sympathy. My uncle lives closest to me and has a myriad of health and physical issues and I am his main assistant getting him to doctors appointments and other errands. Between the three of them I think I'd like to move further away so they can't reach me. I suspect with some of my help that I am enabling and enabler in my aunt. I could share more detail to demonstrate my stress level issue but I don't want to.

Normally a day like today would dictate a multi hour PMO binge fest and the thought crossed my mind, but I'm not going to for several reasons. First, I don't wish to start over counting. Second, even though I had the thought I dismissed it and moved on. Third, like I stated in an earlier entry I want to see what lays beyond this hurdle, what is out there beyond 15 days post PMO. I've explored PMO in a myriad of ways and I've exhausted its zeal, PMO is dead to me, its sparkle and promise of pleasure have turned to ash in my hands. I stare down at the pile of ash that is my time spent on PMO, I clutch in both hands as it spills out and runs over the sides of my grip. How awful I put so much into nothing. What could I have done with that energy and time I spent, sitting in a chair with pants around my ankles?
Once more unto the breech Dear Friends, Once more...
 

guitar1968

Active Member
What could I have done with that energy and time I spent, sitting in a chair with pants around my ankles?
I think the same thing almost every day. Good luck keeping the demons at bay. Sounds like you are doing well with everything you have to deal with.
 

Artemus

Active Member
I think the same thing almost every day. Good luck keeping the demons at bay. Sounds like you are doing well with everything you have to deal with.
Day 16, No Fap - No PMO.

Thanks for the encouraging words and support. I think it helps me to imagine looking at myself from God's perspective, not necessarily in a judgemental way but just from outside myself. I've also been trying to move my focus from simply, "Not PMO'ing" to a different mindset, a mindset of discovery, like "Who could I be at 90, 120, 365 days post PMO?" Instead of beating myself up over the past too much, I'm more interested in the time I have left and what I might could accomplish minus PMO... I may find I'm a better lover or make better decisions or make more money or simply feel freedom from bad habits, perhaps all of the above. But the facts are I can never discover what may lay ahead for me if I don't leave PMO behind. So to continue in PMO at all is to be chained to a past I can't change, full of regret or I could leave PMO behind and explore a future of limitless possibilities and blessings. Yesterday was hard from a stress POV, but enduring instead of escaping into PMO makes me stronger and today I feel even better.

I'm 51, but I'm not done, not by a long shot and I think I can still show these younger guys a thing or two. Come with me... "Go West Young Man! Go West!"
 
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Artemus

Active Member
Day 18/01, No PMO, No Fap + Water fast.

I've tried an failed numerous times to begin a water fast at the same time as a reboot, but that always fell apart on both fronts. On its face it sounded like just what I needed, to clean myself thoroughly, top to bottom. What happens is you are craving so much in so many areas, your mind and body is screaming and soon you just want relief. I always ended up with a cheeseburger sitting in front of my PC. This go around I've waited until I felt solid in my Hard 90 to embark on a water fast too. I've done several 24 and 48 hour water fasts with a max record of 96 hours. Today I set a goal of 40 days, but if I'm doing well I'll continue until my body says stop. Honestly though if I only get 10 I will be happy and consider it a success.

#269.8
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Nice job on PMO! Never tried a water fast but I have fasted from food to help me focus on GOD! Never been hugely successful at fasting except when I was in HS and was wrestling and wanted to make/cut weight. Whatever can help I am all for it! I have been walking and exercising more as that seems to have helped during my journey. Keeps me busy and also tired. I am only on my work computer which helps as it has got all kinds of firewalls/protection from unhealthy sites. Deleted my twitter and set up some blocking software on my Iphone to assist. Keep it up and good luck in your journey! GOD Bless you!
 

Artemus

Active Member
Day 001: No PMO, No FAP, No Food(Water Fasting).

#273.4

I had 18 days in the bank No PMO/No Fap(made it to 21) and then I started a water fast on Sunday. In the past my method has been, from past experience, to begin by making breakfast my last meal before going water only. This usually works pretty good on work days to give me enough energy to complete my day without any distractions from headaches or nausea, at least until the market closes at 4PM. This time since I was starting on a Sunday I started the day water only. I did this because usually my wife is home on the weekends, but she was gonna be working so I could do as little or as much as I wanted as I adjusted into my fast. My wife is hypoglycemic and does NOT eat like she should unless I make sure she does it, crazy smart woman, but sucks at caring for herself. I should also mention we've both been sick with a virus for the last 10 days and struggling just to get through the day.

So anyway Sunday I'm doing great, drinking my water and taking it easy all day just as planned, knowing once I make it to 3 days and my body switches into ketone-genesis I'll be good. Dinner time is the hardest for me, so I pick her up from work and had cook some chicken she'd prepared in the fridge and thought she was set for her dinner. Long story short, the chicken turned out to have spoiled and had to go get some fast food and I ended up eating with her. Tried to start again Monday, but she was off and ended up eating with her to make sure she ate. Tuesday I give it another go, but for some reason and I'm not sure why, I did a search, NO PMO at least not for several hours about some celebrity. For the next few hours I kept having little thoughts nag at me until I gave myself permission to look at something and then you know what follows... My mistake was allowing the first thought to linger and not deal with it promptly, the rest are just the natural steps to this habit. If the mind wants something it can rationalize almost anything. Once I was through, my lust satiated, I was completely disgusted. Disgusted with my actions, disgusted by what I'd seen and disappointed I'd thrown away 21 days. Those 21 Days were some of the best I've had in years and that's what makes this betrayal all the more vile because it wasn't worth what I traded my time for.

I don't do filters and blockers anymore, for me they hid my real problem, which was a heart problem. My all time record using a blocker and a filter took me to 128 days, but they were horrible days. I say horrible because I was still madly craving the imagery and lust that PMO offers, like a caged wild animal. Sure the bars kept me from grabbing or hurting anyone, but I was still wild inside. I don't want that, I want to be free, free to resist and flee the temptation because I chose too, not because I'm unable to reach it. For some this may seem foolish or needlessly difficult and I use to share that view. For me now its not about me or what I can do, because I can do nothing on my own, its about my faith in Jesus who promises that He will do it for me, if only I have the faith to step out of the boat. So this time I took my eyes off of him and I once again began to sink below the waves. For 21 days though it was amazing and it will be again. He pulled me up and I'm back in the boat ready to go again, eyes on Jesus, walking too him in faith.

Some will argue that I should use filters and blockers because scripture teaches the parable of "cutting off your hand if it causes you to sin or to pluck out your eye if it causes you to sin" and those are good and wise verses that I agree with. We all know they are speaking metaphorically and not literally and I believe I have faithfully done what was instructed. I got rid of all DVD's I had that were either pornographic, suggestive or contained nudity. I deleted songs from my library, turned off my cable TV and deleted everything PMO saved on my computer. My computer, like my phone and my tablet are tools and are not sinful in and of themselves, its just the way we use them. We live in a world of, "Sex Sells" and there is no hope of avoiding it completely, but we can chose not to partake in it and not to go wandering down the street where the "Forbidden Woman" the adultress lives. You know where, (www..Wank Myself Silly .com/.)


Proverbs 7 English Standard Version (ESV)​


Warning Against the Adulteress​

1 My son, keep my words
and treasure up my commandments with you;
2 keep my commandments and live;
keep my teaching as the apple of your eye;
3 bind them on your fingers;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
and call insight your intimate friend,
5 to keep you from the forbidden[a] woman,
from the adulteress[b] with her smooth words.

6 For at the window of my house
I have looked out through my lattice,
7 and I have seen among the simple,
I have perceived among the youths,
a young man lacking sense,
8 passing along the street near her corner,
taking the road to her house
9 in the twilight, in the evening,
at the time of night and darkness.

10 And behold, the woman meets him,
dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.[c]
11 She is loud and wayward;
her feet do not stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the market,
and at every corner she lies in wait.
13 She seizes him and kisses him,
and with bold face she says to him,
14 “I had to offer sacrifices,[d]
and today I have paid my vows;
15 so now I have come out to meet you,
to seek you eagerly, and I have found you.
16 I have spread my couch with coverings,
colored linens from Egyptian linen;
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh,
aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love till morning;
let us delight ourselves with love.
19 For my husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey;
20 he took a bag of money with him;
at full moon he will come home.”

21 With much seductive speech she persuades him;
with her smooth talk she compels him.
22 All at once he follows her,
as an ox goes to the slaughter,
or as a stag is caught fast[e]
23 till an arrow pierces its liver;
as a bird rushes into a snare;
he does not know that it will cost him his life.

24 And now, O sons, listen to me,
and be attentive to the words of my mouth.
25 Let not your heart turn aside to her ways;
do not stray into her paths,
26 for many a victim has she laid low,
and all her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is the way to Sheol,
going down to the chambers of death.
 
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JerryTX

Active Member
When your mind is changed, your life will be transformed. Remember, where your mind goes, your life follows. When you experience deliverance, your mind has to switch from a slave to a son, from a slave to a soldier. Even if you get the same attacks as before, you get to see them from a different position. "You are not a sick person trying to get healed, you are a healthy person fighting sickness." "You are not a bound person trying to get free, you are a free person fighting bondage." "You are not a sinner trying to get holy, you are a saint fighting sin."

1. Stop believing that you can't control your thoughts. The second lie that must be repented of is , I cannot control my thoughts, they control me. It is a weak excuse, and this excuse is not scriptural from the Bible. The Bible commands us to "Think about these things," (Philippians 4:8), "You shall meditate on it day and night," (Joshua 1:8), "on His law he meditates day and night," (Psalm1:2).
You cannot change what you cannot confront!
To change your mindset keep these things in mind:
2. What you feed your mind with becomes a mindset. A mindset is impossible to change without changing what your mind is filled with. A mindset is what controls you. The mind is what you control. The only way to change your default and automatic thinking is by filling your conscious mind with new information of GOD's truth! Once the conscious mind is filled to the overflow, it slips into the subconscious mind.

3. Confess what you believe, not what you feel. We possess what we confess. We possess salvation by confessing Jesus as Lord of our Lives. We possess GOD's promises by confessing them with our mouths. When you regularly confess only what you feel and see, you are hurting your faith and not helping negative thoughts to leave.
4. Resist negative thoughts, assist positive thoughts. Positive thoughts are not going to stay, they need to be assisted. Negative thoughts are not going to leave they need to be resisted.
1 Corinthians 6:19


And finally #5
5. Expect miracles. Expecting something good to happen is a choice. It is an act of our faith. A person with a renewed mind has positive expectations in the forefront of their mind. Do not let your imagination create an image in which things will go bad for you! Such as re-engaging in porn, relationships breaking , business failing, etc.. Replace those negative images with promises of God's word.

Unless we decide to break the pattern...our lives will continue moving in the wrong direction

Keep up the fight. This one has been extremely challenging and tough for me but I am happy to say I have made it to 93 days which would hasn't happened in 20+ years of PMO! The above is from my journal and I read it daily. Sometimes multiple times. My faith is what has gotten me this far and my faith is what encourages me to go further. I would also recommend this link

Plus the new book -"Winning the War in Your Mind" has bee so helpful!

GOD BLESS you Brother and praying for you and this site!
 
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