PIED and Performance Anxiety

guitar1968

Active Member
I wanted to start a thread here for everyone to discuss this topic. I definitely suffer from PIED but I also believe there is a big topping of Performance Anxiety at work here as well. This has been a problem for me for years and has gotten worse as my porn habit has gotten worse. I know that after I finish my 6 month stint of Hardmode that I will want to start exploring actual intercourse again. I also know that I am going to be as nervous as hell and that alone might kill the deal.

So, if you have been dealing with these two items together, share your experiences. Good or bad. Tell us what worked for you or how you beat this combination of problems.

I have really been enjoying the Journals here and maybe this can be a thread that works a little bit that way. If it's not a good idea here, just let me know. But I really am interested in this topic and I want to focus and tools that can get us all to perform better and make sex what it is supposed to be....fun!
 

Fappy

Respected Member
yep, i too have suffered from the PIED. its difficult to explain. but its as if one day you just arent concerned with wether or not youll be able to perform, you just know that youll be able to. you dont think, "oh fuck, what if i cant get it up!? what if shes going to be struggling to arouse me again!? what if she just sighs and rolls over again!?"
you dont even consider those scenarios because they dont matter anymore.
 

guitar1968

Active Member
yep, i too have suffered from the PIED. its difficult to explain. but its as if one day you just arent concerned with wether or not youll be able to perform, you just know that youll be able to. you dont think, "oh fuck, what if i cant get it up!? what if shes going to be struggling to arouse me again!? what if she just sighs and rolls over again!?"
you dont even consider those scenarios because they dont matter anymore.
Well, that would be a good day indeed! I'm hoping for that and sooner than later would be nice!
 

Bigdawg20

Member
Well, that would be a good day indeed! I'm hoping for that and sooner than later would be nice!
Idk if this will work for everyone but I recently started taking an antidepressant to help with my general anxiety and since then I’ve been having some of the best sex of my life. It definitely has helped my performance anxiety
 
I wanted to start a thread here for everyone to discuss this topic. I definitely suffer from PIED but I also believe there is a big topping of Performance Anxiety at work here as well. This has been a problem for me for years and has gotten worse as my porn habit has gotten worse. I know that after I finish my 6 month stint of Hardmode that I will want to start exploring actual intercourse again. I also know that I am going to be as nervous as hell and that alone might kill the deal.

So, if you have been dealing with these two items together, share your experiences. Good or bad. Tell us what worked for you or how you beat this combination of problems.

I have really been enjoying the Journals here and maybe this can be a thread that works a little bit that way. If it's not a good idea here, just let me know. But I really am interested in this topic and I want to focus and tools that can get us all to perform better and make sex what it is supposed to be....fun!
What helped me was finding out what was causing me to struggle with my issues and work on it, for how long have you been dealing with PIED and Performance Anxiety?
 

jjacks

Active Member
This is not unusual. I, too, suffered from performance anxiety after ED set in. So, of course, it only made efforts to have intercourse worse. Once I understood that it was porn induced, and cut the porn to start my reboot, the ED began to disappear. It didn't happen overnight, but I was able to have intercourse again within a few months. The sex didn't last that long, but it was a good sign since it had been a while that I could not get hard enough to have intercourse.

My confidence in my ability to perform sexually continues to grow as my sexual stamina increases. I started my reboot 4½ years ago and am still getting encouraging signs that my ability to get and stay hard is improving. So, forget about performance anxiety - it becomes a self-fulfilling promise. Rather, lats talk about performance confidence, and how it improves if you follow through with your reboot.
 

Bigdawg20

Member
This is not unusual. I, too, suffered from performance anxiety after ED set in. So, of course, it only made efforts to have intercourse worse. Once I understood that it was porn induced, and cut the porn to start my reboot, the ED began to disappear. It didn't happen overnight, but I was able to have intercourse again within a few months. The sex didn't last that long, but it was a good sign since it had been a while that I could not get hard enough to have intercourse.

My confidence in my ability to perform sexually continues to grow as my sexual stamina increases. I started my reboot 4½ years ago and am still getting encouraging signs that my ability to get and stay hard is improving. So, forget about performance anxiety - it becomes a self-fulfilling promise. Rather, lats talk about performance confidence, and how it improves if you follow through with your reboot.
Hey man so at 4.5 years of rebooting would you say you’re pretty much cured? I’m almost at 2 years this august and still struggling with the in and out flatlines. Did you have a bad flatline at all?
 

jjacks

Active Member
Odd question -- I never thought of it in terms of being "cured". It is more a case of taking control over an addiction. If I think of my addiction with tobacco, which I kicked 35 years ago, I still get the urge on the rare occasion. But I am stronger than that and laugh it off. So with porn. That is the reason I come back here, to reassure myself I am doing the right thing.

This discussion has shown me that a large part of my recovery was overcoming the performance anxiety. Thinking I would lose my erection in seconds had become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once I got that out of my system, the rest has seemed a lot easier. I am not sure what a flatline feels like, my sexual performance has its ups and downs, but I do not do it that often, maybe every two weeks. I have attributed that to age (I am 72 and my wife 70). When we do have sex, it is good now (and endurance is still improving) and I still amaze myself that I can, that we can, enjoy that pleasure at our age. So, am I cured? Maybe -- certainly in control. At 2 years into the reboot I was getting it up pretty much all the time. But I guess all our calendars are different. And addiction requires constant vigilance to maintain control over it.
 
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