A Porn Story

CoolBreeze

Member
Good job. I have a DVD in the basement that I burned with a lot of my favorite porn on it. I did that a number of years ago and never really went back to it. Just so much on the internet there really was no need. I have to go find it and break it apart. No need to find that years from now.

Stay strong you are doing great!
Thanks Guitar

I also recently trashed a BJ video of a ex girlfriend. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't porn because it's me but it's porn alright.
Back when I first made it I did PMO to it a few times but wasn't the same as PMO to internet porn. Porn Addiction is a beast.
 

CoolBreeze

Member
Day 38 into Day 39 No Fap No PMO

I think I'm experiencing a flatline. But its all good. Knowing what things were like before is a big incentive to keep from going back. I know what's back there and it aint pretty. Recovery is not a straight line it's jagged it's ups and downs sideways sometimes.
Got to live life on life's terms one day at a time.
Peace.
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Day 38 into Day 39 No Fap No PMO

I think I'm experiencing a flatline. But its all good. Knowing what things were like before is a big incentive to keep from going back. I know what's back there and it aint pretty. Recovery is not a straight line it's jagged it's ups and downs sideways sometimes.
Got to live life on life's terms one day at a time.
Peace.
I like your outlook. Yes, it is not a straight line, but I'm fine going on a more scenic and curvy road as long as it leads to a better place.
Peace!
 

CoolBreeze

Member
Day 40 No Fap No PMO

Everything passes, everything. Your depressions and your thrills have nothing to do with happiness. Those are the swings of the pendulum. If you seek kicks or thrills, get ready for depression. Do you want your drug? Get ready for the hangover. One end of the pendulum swings to the other.

Peace Reboot Family
 

CoolBreeze

Member
A few hours into Day 41 No Fap No PMO

In looking for some family pictures on a hard drive I found more porn. A ton of downloaded clips and scenes. Once again I hesitated but I deleted them. I also found P Sub on my iCloud Drive. Deleted them. Staying strong One minute at a time.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family.
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Boredom and nostalgia for my porn days are strong with me at day 67. Flatline? You bet. I think the flatline is helping me not go back to the porn though. So, that's a benefit at least. I'm just not feeling much down there, but I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel might just be a bit longer than I wanted!

Peace.
 

JerryTX

Member
Nice work on 41 days! I had a flatline as well but now at day 69 I feel like I have come out of it. Stay strong and I agree that boredom is when the urges hit strongest... When I am getting to that point of boredom I try to find something active to do--workout, walk, push ups, swim!
Stay strong!
 

CoolBreeze

Member
Day 43 No Fap No PMO

Feeling pretty good. Just flowing with journey. I’m not going to worry about the flatline.. Got to keep One Day at a timing and not be tempted to look at P Sub to see if I get a erection. I believe there are better things to come. What’s behind is definitely not it. Porn is definitely not it. P Sub is definitely not it.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family
 
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CoolBreeze

Member
Day 44 No Fap No PMO

Things are calm. Shaved off my Covid Beard tonight which I grew for 15 months. I feel much cooler. Going to throw out a bunch of junk I have around the house. Old Electronics. Printers that don't work. Too much clutter around here.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Day 44 No Fap No PMO

Things are calm. Shaved off my Covid Beard tonight which I grew for 15 months. I feel much cooler. Going to throw out a bunch of junk I have around the house. Old Electronics. Printers that don't work. Too much clutter around here.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family
It's amazing how a clean and organized space can make you feel better. I'm working on that as well at my house.

Glad you are doing so well and thanks so much for your support. This group is amazing and very helpful.
 

CoolBreeze

Member
You are cruising right along my friend! You have got it under control!
I got some insight from a Noah Church video on YouTube. He read a letter of a guy that went 90 days fell off because he wondered if his dick still worked and because of flatline. He went back to porn for 2-3 years I believe. He stopped eventually and did 99 days and everything was great with Sex in real life. He wondered if he had went 9 more days the first time would it have been his break through.

During the flatline I'm experiencing now I'm wondering if my dick still works. Well I know for sure that if I go back to porn it will not work with a real woman. So again I'm trusting the process. My experience with alcohol addiction was that I was a raging drunk on a Wednesday and totally lost my desire to drink on a Thursday. That was 13 years ago. I'm letting my higher power drive this bus of porn Recovery. 13 years. The age I was when I first did P Sub MO.

Peace and strength Reboot family
 
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