A Porn Story

G

guitar1968

Well-Known Member
That's a great story. The main reason I MO during my reboot was to see if I still could. Of course, I did it with no porn and it wasn't easy. I wasn't fully erect, but I got there. The other two attempts during this time was also without the use of porn, but I was fully erect and came much quicker. However after the last time I really saw how it could draw me back into porn. I didn't give in, but it was touch and go for a few days. I really want to find my 99 days. I don't want to blow it because I give up too soon.

I'm trusting the process as well and I'm going back to no fap for at least a while. I'll reevaluate as I go, but I know that I need to keep away from it all to heal entirely. I'm getting a lot closer to 90 days without porn. I want to make sure I hit that milestone, but I want to sail by it and never think about porn again. Spending our entire lives with porn makes it very hard to push it away.
 
CoolBreeze

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Day 46 No Fap No PMO

Day 47: Fell asleep early and woke up early. Around 4 am. I knew I would go back to sleep. Woke up around 11am with bit of Morning Wood!!
What a surprise. As I laid in the bed watching the news I was getting random erections. Not Diamond cutters but there was life LOL.

Lets Keep it Moving. Trusting the process

Peace and strength Reboot Family.
 
CoolBreeze

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Day 48 No Fap No PMO

Still trusting the process. Had a bit of morning wood. So things are looking up. Literally. LOL

Peace and Strength Reboot Family
 
CoolBreeze

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Day 49 No Fap No PMO

Day 50 No Fap No PMO

No huge developments to report. Just crusing right along with the process. I guess if I spent 40 plus years MO with P Sub and then Porn I can spend whatever time it's going to take to feel better. I'm not having any cravings for porn thank God.

Peace and strength Reboot Family
 
CoolBreeze

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Day 53 No Fap No PMO

Was definitely experiencing PAWS today. I know the feeling from early on in Alcohol recovery. Valerian Root helps with PAWS.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family.
 
CoolBreeze

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Day 54 No Fap No PMO

The PAWS feels much better. Just chilling trusting the process.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family.
 
CoolBreeze

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Day 55 No Fap No PMO

I feel like my libido is coming back. I want to MO but not to porn but past IRL encounters. I decided not to. The past few weeks I had no desire to MO at all. The thought of doing it to porn makes me feel like I'll go right back to from where I came from and I don't want that. I have no desire to view porn just a desire to MO.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family
 
G

guitar1968

Well-Known Member
I've had flatlines and then days of being super horny. It's a crazy roller coaster for sure. Sounds like you are doing really well though and your days are starting to pile up. Well done.
 
CoolBreeze

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Day 59 No Fap No PMO

All is well. Going to watch The Tomorrow War. 60 days coming up. I'm trying to think if I've ever been 60 days without PMO.
Probably not since I was a teenager.

It reminds that around 1987 possibly 1988 whenI was 25-26. I was calling Sex numbers I think they were 1-900 numbers.
I'm pretty sure they were recordings of women I don't seem to remember live a live woman on the line. But I definitely did MO to the sex recordings. I remember the girl I was seeing got her hands on my phone bill and saw all the calls and freaked out.
Man what a crazy time.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family
 
CoolBreeze

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Day 61 No Fap No PMO

Feeling maybe a little too good today. Maybe? Freaking libido is 9 -1/2 on a scale of 1-10. No desire to watch porn
Just a desire to have real sex PIV. I'm holding on.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family
 
CoolBreeze

CoolBreeze

Active Member
Heading into Day 62. No Fap No PMO

Watched a Noah Church video on Porn Addiction as a refresher. Also watched a video on fear and anxiety.
Fear and Anxiety were part of the roots of my Porn Addiction and Alcohol Addiction. Awareness helped me get 13 and a half years alcohol free. Knowing my enemy. Bringing a gun to this knife fight of Porn addiction. Time to read The Art of War again.
This addiction,All addiction is a war.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
CoolBreeze said:
Heading into Day 62. No Fap No PMO

Watched a Noah Church video on Porn Addiction as a refresher. Also watched a video on fear and anxiety.
Fear and Anxiety were part of the roots of my Porn Addiction and Alcohol Addiction. Awareness helped me get 13 and a half years alcohol free. Knowing my enemy. Bringing a gun to this knife fight of Porn addiction. Time to read The Art of War again.
This addiction,All addiction is a war.

Peace and Strength Reboot Family.
Click to expand...

Congratulations on 62 days!

I also watch Noah Church, and have also read The Art of War in relation to my own struggles and found it very helpful in terms of self-compassion while dealing with the unwanted habits.

Stay strong, brother.
 
J

JerryTX

Active Member
Awesome job on day 62! Glad to know your doing well and also congrats on 13.5 years alcohol free. There are times during my 90 day journey that I felt I drank too much to cope with the loss of P. I had to level set this and realize to beat P I can't find another addiction. Stay strong and you got this!
 
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