CoolBreeze
Active Member
59 year old male
It all started at 13 with the 1975 SI Swimsuit Edition. Not Playboy,Penthouse or Hustler. Although those magazines would have a role in my Porn Addiction and PMO.
My parents had got me a subscription to SI back then. I had no idea there was a swimsuit issue they probably didn’t either. I could have it in plain sight underneath the all the regular issues.
The SI Swimsuit Cover was January 27 1975
This was my very first PMO.
During these days explicit hardcore porn was impossible to come by. There were older friends who somehow got their hands on the old Super 8 Swedish Erotica Films. Being able to view these was incredibly difficult. First parents had to be at work and we had to be out of school or dismissed early. Forget masturbating to this stuff back then. From finding the right opportunity to setting up the film projector masturbating was the last thing on your mind. You just wanted to see it.
As I got older 17-18. It became easier to get my hands on Playboy,Hustler or Penthouse from a magazine stand. But still no hardcore porn. I believe at this time VHS was not widely attainable and to my knowledge porn wasn’t available on VHS and my family couldn’t afford a VHS machine back then.
In my 20’s it was more of the same just magazines.
Then in my early 30’s VHS was readily available and renting porn was easy and buying some in a bargain basket from a Porn video store was easier. What Tube sights offer now you had to create yourself. Fast forwarding to the sex and bypassing the story line. My PMO increased greatly at this time of course.
Around 1996 I got access to a then powerful Windows Laptop and found a few sites with Porn clips which were super short. Some were just seconds long some maybe 2 mins. This was before High Speed internet so it would take what seemed like a life time to download or just view. But it was free and you didn’t have to worry about someone seeing you go into a Porn video store it was perfect.
In my 40’s which was 2002 to 2011. The internet porn game was definitely not what it is today but there was plenty to view and download and DSL High Speed was the thing. Around this time is where things stared taking off around. Quality of the content was better the content got right to the point. The content was now being designed for high consumption. It was like having every Playboy,Penthouse,Hustler etc magazine at your finger tips but with moving pictures of explicit sex.
Around 47 years old I started to experience PIED. I knew it was from PMO and I just wouldn’t PMO for a month to get some wood back. But my addiction had other ideas. During this time I was also in recovery for alcoholism and my PMO increased exponentially. I found myself doing this balancing act of trying not to PMO if I was in a relationship or right after I met a woman and the there was a good possibility of a relationship.
Around this same time I was in a very bad relationship and decided to just take a break from relationships which gave me the opportunity to keep up my PMO game.
For 5-6 years no real partners just PMO.
Then around 53 years old I met someone and got into a relationship. The PIED was in full effect. I knew it was from my PMO. I even discussed this with her and that I was watching porn constantly and jerking off constantly. The difference in the PIED this time, unlike when I was 47 was that my dick was dead. There were even times when I told her “It’s not happening tonight my dick is dead. I had short period of rebooting and the wood would slightly comeback but never really hard.
I ended the relationship. Not because of my Porn Addiction just other issues that happened.
I was done with relationships. I didn’t care if I did PMO until my last days. Just like with drinking there was a point where I didn’t care if I drank myself to death.
My PMO continued especially during Covid lockdowns. I didn’t need contact I had my porn.
This is when I found myself moving closer to extreme content. When things got too extreme in my opinion I would shut if off but I knew that eventually I wouldn’t. But I also found myself just not wanting to watch anything anymore. I started forcing myself to PMO. It was becoming a giant boat anchor tied around my neck.
Then about 3 weeks ago I said to myself I’m done. I cant do this anymore. It was all just too much.
46 years of PMO in some form or fashion. So I deleted my extensive collection of Porn I downloaded.
Clips and scenes that I coveted. Select all delete. Then came the massive amounts of still images of nude women. Close to 30-40 thousand pictures collected over the years that I rarely or never looked at.
I deleted porn bookmarks. Lingere and Bikini try on’s from Youtube. Hot Tik Tok girls. I deleted Tik Tok all together. Reddit Porn. I deleted Instagram a few years back. Anything that would be what I call a “appetizer” to PMO.
After 3 weeks I already feel progress.
I want real life sexual experiences. I’m not sure if I every really had them because PMO and Porn has been in the equation for so long.
Here’s to the first time without Porn in my life.
I feel very optimistic about the future.
It all started at 13 with the 1975 SI Swimsuit Edition. Not Playboy,Penthouse or Hustler. Although those magazines would have a role in my Porn Addiction and PMO.
My parents had got me a subscription to SI back then. I had no idea there was a swimsuit issue they probably didn’t either. I could have it in plain sight underneath the all the regular issues.
The SI Swimsuit Cover was January 27 1975
This was my very first PMO.
During these days explicit hardcore porn was impossible to come by. There were older friends who somehow got their hands on the old Super 8 Swedish Erotica Films. Being able to view these was incredibly difficult. First parents had to be at work and we had to be out of school or dismissed early. Forget masturbating to this stuff back then. From finding the right opportunity to setting up the film projector masturbating was the last thing on your mind. You just wanted to see it.
As I got older 17-18. It became easier to get my hands on Playboy,Hustler or Penthouse from a magazine stand. But still no hardcore porn. I believe at this time VHS was not widely attainable and to my knowledge porn wasn’t available on VHS and my family couldn’t afford a VHS machine back then.
In my 20’s it was more of the same just magazines.
Then in my early 30’s VHS was readily available and renting porn was easy and buying some in a bargain basket from a Porn video store was easier. What Tube sights offer now you had to create yourself. Fast forwarding to the sex and bypassing the story line. My PMO increased greatly at this time of course.
Around 1996 I got access to a then powerful Windows Laptop and found a few sites with Porn clips which were super short. Some were just seconds long some maybe 2 mins. This was before High Speed internet so it would take what seemed like a life time to download or just view. But it was free and you didn’t have to worry about someone seeing you go into a Porn video store it was perfect.
In my 40’s which was 2002 to 2011. The internet porn game was definitely not what it is today but there was plenty to view and download and DSL High Speed was the thing. Around this time is where things stared taking off around. Quality of the content was better the content got right to the point. The content was now being designed for high consumption. It was like having every Playboy,Penthouse,Hustler etc magazine at your finger tips but with moving pictures of explicit sex.
Around 47 years old I started to experience PIED. I knew it was from PMO and I just wouldn’t PMO for a month to get some wood back. But my addiction had other ideas. During this time I was also in recovery for alcoholism and my PMO increased exponentially. I found myself doing this balancing act of trying not to PMO if I was in a relationship or right after I met a woman and the there was a good possibility of a relationship.
Around this same time I was in a very bad relationship and decided to just take a break from relationships which gave me the opportunity to keep up my PMO game.
For 5-6 years no real partners just PMO.
Then around 53 years old I met someone and got into a relationship. The PIED was in full effect. I knew it was from my PMO. I even discussed this with her and that I was watching porn constantly and jerking off constantly. The difference in the PIED this time, unlike when I was 47 was that my dick was dead. There were even times when I told her “It’s not happening tonight my dick is dead. I had short period of rebooting and the wood would slightly comeback but never really hard.
I ended the relationship. Not because of my Porn Addiction just other issues that happened.
I was done with relationships. I didn’t care if I did PMO until my last days. Just like with drinking there was a point where I didn’t care if I drank myself to death.
My PMO continued especially during Covid lockdowns. I didn’t need contact I had my porn.
This is when I found myself moving closer to extreme content. When things got too extreme in my opinion I would shut if off but I knew that eventually I wouldn’t. But I also found myself just not wanting to watch anything anymore. I started forcing myself to PMO. It was becoming a giant boat anchor tied around my neck.
Then about 3 weeks ago I said to myself I’m done. I cant do this anymore. It was all just too much.
46 years of PMO in some form or fashion. So I deleted my extensive collection of Porn I downloaded.
Clips and scenes that I coveted. Select all delete. Then came the massive amounts of still images of nude women. Close to 30-40 thousand pictures collected over the years that I rarely or never looked at.
I deleted porn bookmarks. Lingere and Bikini try on’s from Youtube. Hot Tik Tok girls. I deleted Tik Tok all together. Reddit Porn. I deleted Instagram a few years back. Anything that would be what I call a “appetizer” to PMO.
After 3 weeks I already feel progress.
I want real life sexual experiences. I’m not sure if I every really had them because PMO and Porn has been in the equation for so long.
Here’s to the first time without Porn in my life.
I feel very optimistic about the future.
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