Concernedwife
New Member
My 30 year old husband has always been quite hyper-sexual, but we haven’t had “problems” with porn and fetishes until just the past 6 months
He essentially came out and said he fantasises about being a bottom and he wanted to peg himself. I consider myself open minded, and even though it was a bit confronting I thought it was better that he happily explore himself in private rather than suppress his feelings.
However this escalated to him saying he would have a Brokeback Mountain moment if we divorced, yet assured me he wasn’t actually attracted to men the same way he is attracted to women (ie. romanace, intimacy, physical attraction). He just liked the idea of the thrill and novelty of being with, specifically a gay man (no straight men, as I said he has no physical attracted to men).
He regularly watches gay porn and feels like he’s cheating himself by watching straight porn. He spends sometimes 30mins in the shower pegging himself and wants to continue to challenge himself by going up dildo sizes.
I’m now at the point where I’m sensing red flags. But God forbid, I’m not in the mood to be labelled as a kink shamer or homophobic
He is a regular porn user, and always has been. He admitted to watching gay porn as a teenager but couldn’t bring himself to climax over it. He had terrible luck with females (until he met me really), and questioned his sexuality because of it. He also suffered from ED for 3 years.
As a child he had issues with his mother as he only stayed with her part time. He admired her and wanted to be like her in terms of her energy and zest for life. His dad was boring and withdrew affection. As a teenager he was facing coercion from a peer to suck his penis in exchange for a gaming console.
I’m wondering if his unhealthy sexual attitude as a young man has manifested into this kink, and I’m seeking advice on how to handle it.
It’s literally been giving me sleepless nights and I’ve simply encouraged him to pursue a healthy relationship and outlet with his sexuality.
He essentially came out and said he fantasises about being a bottom and he wanted to peg himself. I consider myself open minded, and even though it was a bit confronting I thought it was better that he happily explore himself in private rather than suppress his feelings.
However this escalated to him saying he would have a Brokeback Mountain moment if we divorced, yet assured me he wasn’t actually attracted to men the same way he is attracted to women (ie. romanace, intimacy, physical attraction). He just liked the idea of the thrill and novelty of being with, specifically a gay man (no straight men, as I said he has no physical attracted to men).
He regularly watches gay porn and feels like he’s cheating himself by watching straight porn. He spends sometimes 30mins in the shower pegging himself and wants to continue to challenge himself by going up dildo sizes.
I’m now at the point where I’m sensing red flags. But God forbid, I’m not in the mood to be labelled as a kink shamer or homophobic
He is a regular porn user, and always has been. He admitted to watching gay porn as a teenager but couldn’t bring himself to climax over it. He had terrible luck with females (until he met me really), and questioned his sexuality because of it. He also suffered from ED for 3 years.
As a child he had issues with his mother as he only stayed with her part time. He admired her and wanted to be like her in terms of her energy and zest for life. His dad was boring and withdrew affection. As a teenager he was facing coercion from a peer to suck his penis in exchange for a gaming console.
I’m wondering if his unhealthy sexual attitude as a young man has manifested into this kink, and I’m seeking advice on how to handle it.
It’s literally been giving me sleepless nights and I’ve simply encouraged him to pursue a healthy relationship and outlet with his sexuality.