Hi, just want to say while all emotions are helpful. We need to feel all our emotions. About shame. I hope you reconsider your perceptions and beliefs about shame. In my view our society has some values inverted. Like in terms of acceptance, admitting stuff, like if you confess to something then bad things will happen to you. While the opposite is true. When we confess our faults we get to correct them. We cannot heal what we do not admit or accept.
I am finding big relief when I confessed to my faults. Self-acceptance. It is an ongoing process with many layers. My view is that we are programmed by society to view this as something shameful. Social stigma is totally unproductive. We are dealing with maladaptive coping mechanisms that ironically our society also helped to co-create.
The good thing is that we don't need to play by society's rules in our inner world. The other great thing is that when we fix our inner world we are also fixing the outer part (society). As mentally healthy individuals make for a healthy society.
In my view it takes courage not weakness to openly talk about how our life is messed up. It is also in my view a sign of maturity to take ownership of all our thoughts and emotions and our life.
There is nothing shameful about relapses. A child does not get born tabula rasa. We inherit a whole lot of shit from our parents and society at birth. Why do new borns nowadays have cancer and stuff? Because emotional trauma is also generational. Addiction is a great example. My father was a very heavy alcoholic. In part why I am having a harder time to clear this addiction is also ancestral. As my father's father also collected a lot of shit from his father, etc. So the buck gets passed down the line. Then people wonder why the higher cancer rates each year. Our organs also hold emotions. Emotional traumas are a big deal. They are encoded in the physical as well. If they are not cleared they manifest as a series of progressively worse physical symptoms.
Hats off to you man. This was a bit longer than expected but felt the need to comment on the shame part. There is nothing shameful about this work in my view. There is nothing shameful about relapse. You are working on yourself. You admitted your problems. This is commendable. In my view shame to shame this work.
Felt like sharing this image from FB.