Please read if you are struggling.

Sangiha

Member
A year ago..

I was hopeless.
I was numb.
I have lost all my passion and motivation for life.
My libido was at rock bottom.. my penis was lifeless and even porn could not keep my erection and i never had any sign of morning woods.

My girlfriend of 4 years left me because I chose porn, dating apps, and meaningless sex over her love for cheap instant gratifications. I treated her like shit.. and she was the sweetest girl who really loved me.

I didnt have a clue why I was this way.. and not knowing only filled my days with extreme anger, depression, regret, guilt, and anxiety. You know how it feels when you are feeling broken inside, both mentally and physically. Its the worst feeling in the entire world. And to escape these feelings, I turned to one thing that got me to this place.. hardcore pornography. And this cycle gets deeper and darker into a bottomless pit. I did not want to live anymore.. until i found Gabe deem and Noah Church on youtube.

Knowing that I wasn’t the only one was a huge relief. But it took me 8 months of constantly trying and relapsing every couple weeks to start a streak I am on right now. I was heavily addicted to instagram and dating apps which caused me to relapse countless times. no matter how long your streak is, it only takes a couple relapses for you to find yourself at the bottom of the mountain again. I was so fucking lonely.. which made me either talk to girls online or go back to porn sites. I got a chance to sleep with a beautiful girl i met on a dating app around 4 months ago and needless to say.. I failed miserably.

Ever since this incident, I made up my mind to really change. PMO was not an option for me anymore.. no matter how difficult things were. I was sick and tired of escaping from my feelings and life and decided to face this journey with a 100 percent commitment. Looking back at it, I wish i had made this decision back when I started. You are either on this path or you are not. There is no in between.

Flatline hit me like a truck from day 1. And it went on.. and on.. until day 96. I was completely broken. But I had a clear goal that I would never go back to the way I was. I did everything I could to get out of this flatline and doing these things has really improved the quality of my life as well as my mental and physical health. We are all here to ultimately beat our porn addiction but I truly believe that the real benefits of nofap comes from self discipline and every small changes you incorporate into your daily life that makes you a better person.

During this journey, these were the things that I tried best to do everyday and I believe it can benefit anybody.. especially those who are rebooting :
Wim Hof breathing exercise (best in the morning)

Cold showers (2-5 minutes in the morning)

HIIT workouts and calisthenics (100-200 pullups + 2-300 dips + pushups + 10 minute ab routine)

NO drugs, weed, nicotine, and caffeine

Delete all social media and dating apps and block all porn sites.

NO phone use after 8pm and NO phone in bed.

Sleep before midnight and wake up before 8am.

Have a progress journal off the screen. (write down how you feel, what changed, libido, morning wood, etc) its easy to forget if you are doing right in this rollercoaster of a journey. Difficult times come in big waves and these things will help you surf them.

I know this list is far from easy.. it was very difficult for me to be honest. Seeing this period as a small sacrifice for my brighter future made things a bit easier to endure.

Now I am at Day 120 into my journey.. and things are quite different to say the least.
I am free of depression and anxiety.. and my mind and focus is crystal clear. Physically i could not be in a better shape. I now know that true happiness comes from true love and finding my purpose in life, instead of searching for it through short term pleasures. I can really appreciate all the small details in life that I was numb to acknowledge before and I cannot be more grateful. I quit escaping from adversities life hits me with and I am more confident in taking more risks and responsibilities. I don’t try to ignore my feeling anymore and try to deal with them by observing how they affect me. I am not afraid of being vulnerable to people who are close to me, which has made me a more open and transparent person. I reached out to my ex girlfriend and opened up about everything that I was going through and how she still means everything to me.. she was so happy to hear from me and booked her flight during the call to come see me. We met on day 114 of my hardmode journey and we had the most amazing sex.. and she was absolutely mind blown. I was convinced that my penis was still broken but once i saw her and felt the love we had everything just snapped and I had no issues in the bedroom. Now we are back together and I will give her everything from now on. I encourage anybody who is afraid to be intimate with a girl because of porn related sexual dysfunctions to just take the risk if you are far enough into your reboot. Sometimes it can really kick start your libido and put a definite end to your flatline. There is so much more to gain than to lose from trying.


I still have many more benefits ahead of me as I will continue on in this journey. One thing for sure is that I wouldn’t have made it this far without gabe deem and people on this forum so I appreciate all of you so so much.

PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE HEALED.

You deserve to enjoy life full of love and purpose. Just don’t go back to your old ways.. We’re much better than that.

Much love
 
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Sangiha

Member
Having a lot of sex definitely put me back into a flatline. I had sex for 3 days and fell into a flatline fore a week then my gf came back for a week. I was still able to perform most of the times but i definitely wasnt 100 % myself and knew i was still in a flatline.. and having orgasms were not helping it go away. Its been 4 days since my girl left again so I am doing hardmode until I see her again. Ive been in a flatline this past few days but it seems to be fading away. And its not as debilitating as it was before when I was month or two into my streak. Currently at on Day 135 without PM :)
 

Caravan7

Member
Hi Sangiha, congrats! Makes perfect sense to me, basically:
Lots of exercise
Sufficient sleep
No drugs
Limit screen time

Which is basically the same advice they give against depression, or indeed, for health in general. I'm totally convinced and am working toward this same life style. Exercise is the single most underrated natural medicine there is!
 

Michael_S

New Member
Thx for sharing with us!
It has been a few rough days for me (Day 100), and the happy ending really got me there
I hope you are still doing well

This community is the best!
I wish I had found it earlier
 

Huntilt87

Member
Wim Hof breathing exercise (best in the morning)

Cold showers (2-5 minutes in the morning)
Wow this is so inspiring and I hope I will succeed like you. I also relapsed a 100 of times and now i'm totally committed to STOP for all this shit. When you said no social media do you mean you quit Facebook? Because it helps me to connect with friends or checking some social events. How did you fight the flatline?
 

thetruth

Member
Wow this is so inspiring and I hope I will succeed like you. I also relapsed a 100 of times and now i'm totally committed to STOP for all this shit. When you said no social media do you mean you quit Facebook? Because it helps me to connect with friends or checking some social events. How did you fight the flatline?
personally i dont think you have to quit social media, unless it triggeres you into watching porn
 

Gardenzio

Member
Congrats Sangiha! As you said, one of the most importants aspects from reboot is to build a new life routine.

I liked when you said you limited your access to your cellphone, mainly in bed, and I think it's one of the steps we need to do to build this new routine, and to stay free from any kind of fantasies or triggers. Thanks for sharing it, and I'll be doing so, as well.

Take care, and hope you keep following this path.
 

Sangiha

Member
Wow this is so inspiring and I hope I will succeed like you. I also relapsed a 100 of times and now i'm totally committed to STOP for all this shit. When you said no social media do you mean you quit Facebook? Because it helps me to connect with friends or checking some social events. How did you fight the flatline?
Yes no need to delete facebook if its not harming you. I just went over the top and limited everything that will give me quick dopamine releases. Instagram and tiktoks are definitely worse than fb in terms of that- due to high volume of scrollin and new contents.
Fighting a flatline is a wrong way of going about this journey. You need to accept it.. embrace the flatline. If you keep trying to fight it it will only make you more frustrated and anxious.
exercise and eat healthy.. and just live one day at a time without porn. And KNOW that it will end.
much love.
 

viking1234

Active Member
Thanks for this. Just relapsed a few hours ago, this helps a lot. As you say, I'm realising there is no in between here. Either you are 1000% down or you are not. That's it.
 
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