10 months hard mode. 24 M. I masturbated yesterday using only imagination - is it bad?

I have been using porn for ten years, but never really escalated to hardcore fetishes. I had trouble with having normal sex though - penetration was imposssible because i was losing erection when putting on a condom or wanting to penetrate. After the last incident i found out about PIED and quit PMO completely for 10 months. I had regular morning erections since probably month 3 but was experiencing flatline and depression during this time from time to time. I also had very frequently very cloudy urine and experienced nocturnal emission for the first time in my life, but it happened only once.
In all this period i never watched porn and was trying to have sex with someone, but unfortunately, due to covid, it was not so easy (i was also very unsure). Now i think, even though i haven't had sex, that it might be working again. I feel like a 13 year old teenager with very strongsexual desires.
Yesterday i masturbated for the first time using only my imagination and having realistic fantasies, instead of flashbacks from porn. I was not sure whether this was allowed in the recovery process but it felt amazing. Today, in the morning, i had a strong erection and felt very good in general.

Does this reverse my streak? Am i going to start from 0 again to cure it or is it allowed to masturbate after such long abstaining? Can i masturbate in the future too using only my imagination? Please share your thoughts and experience
 

Cp6uH

Member
I have been using porn for ten years, but never really escalated to hardcore fetishes. I had trouble with having normal sex though - penetration was imposssible because i was losing erection when putting on a condom or wanting to penetrate. After the last incident i found out about PIED and quit PMO completely for 10 months. I had regular morning erections since probably month 3 but was experiencing flatline and depression during this time from time to time. I also had very frequently very cloudy urine and experienced nocturnal emission for the first time in my life, but it happened only once.
In all this period i never watched porn and was trying to have sex with someone, but unfortunately, due to covid, it was not so easy (i was also very unsure). Now i think, even though i haven't had sex, that it might be working again. I feel like a 13 year old teenager with very strongsexual desires.
Yesterday i masturbated for the first time using only my imagination and having realistic fantasies, instead of flashbacks from porn. I was not sure whether this was allowed in the recovery process but it felt amazing. Today, in the morning, i had a strong erection and felt very good in general.

Does this reverse my streak? Am i going to start from 0 again to cure it or is it allowed to masturbate after such long abstaining? Can i masturbate in the future too using only my imagination? Please share your thoughts and experience
Hey bro, Congratulations on your determination - 10 months NoFap is so amazing achievement,you should be proud about that.I don't know whether you've read about this or not but many long-term Rebooters stated that masturbation had helped them kickstart their libido.I would strongly recommend you that you find a partner and only then you will know for sure if PIED is gone.I'm 5 months into my reboot seeing a lot of progress and your post gives me hope to stay on track.
I wish you best of luck !
 

Fappy

Respected Member
If you just had a good ole wank without any artificial stimuli, and didnt actively seek out such things, then I wouldnt say its a relapse. As the learned fellow about said it can help to kickstart the libido and develop normal sexual responses.
 

Sangiha

Member
You are definitely sexually healed in my opinion. Just stay away from porn. Dont be afraid to get intimate with a girl. You are definitely ready for sex.
 

casanova

Member
10 months, congrats! Please let us know next week if it sent you back to a flatline or not.
I was hardmode for 60+ days, then had real sex, and my body reacted as a relapse. I had strong erection on the day after, but 4 days later I had no MW and dead penis all over again..
 

46and2

Active Member
It sounds to me like you're doing great man! I'm very wary of how compulsive the whole rebooting thing can become; like because of our shared predicament, I think many of us attach a shameful stigma to masturbation....it seems likely we spend so long trying to abstain from it. And so when the time comes to rewiring, getting past that initial fear that you're back to square one is very natural. If you enjoyed it and found that you didn't have to rely on hyper sexual stimuli than my opinion would be that you're very much on the road to recovery and may be ready to rewire with a partner. The best of luck my friend; you're doing great.
 
Thank you guys for your replies.

10 months, congrats! Please let us know next week if it sent you back to a flatline or not.
I was hardmode for 60+ days, then had real sex, and my body reacted as a relapse. I had strong erection on the day after, but 4 days later I had no MW and dead penis all over again..
I have to admit that libido is gone - i am not sure though. I am getting erections during the day but the sexual desire is not as strong as it was, i think. For me it is really hard to distinguish whether i am in flatline or not, unfortunately. I do get morning erections but sometimes cannot get erect when i want to, so it can become quite confusing
 

46and2

Active Member
I guess it depends on how much pressure you're putting on yourself to achieve an erection. Morning wood is easy as it's pretty much unconscious. Don't get disheartened if you have trouble getting started; make sure you're comfortable with mood lighting, maybe music, nice incense sticks etc. The key I believe is to have fun as you rewire and learn what gives you pleasure again. Most of all try to relax; if you're staying away from porn then you're winning my friend so keep it up!
 
A little update after several months of posting this:
I strongly advice against MO before healing fully !!!

I have been MOing for 3 months without P, maybe once a day or every two days. Long story short: my morning woods are gone. I do not know if i still have PIED though... havent had the chance to see.

Anyway, i started abstaining 2 weeks ago and am starting it over again. This time until i am sure i am healed.

Also, i got rid of social media accounts, especially Instagram, which turns out to be almost the same as porn websites. It has this almost evil algorithm that keeps f***n with your brain.

Feel free to ask me anything.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
If you just had a good ole wank without any artificial stimuli, and didnt actively seek out such things, then I wouldnt say its a relapse. As the learned fellow about said it can help to kickstart the libido and develop normal sexual responses.
Yes. If it doesn't involve thinking about porn, it should be alright.
 
Yes. If it doesn't involve thinking about porn, it should be alright.
It isn't alright i think, because of what i am saying in the post below.

Also, gabe says: "The few who continue to have orgasms, and successfully recover from porn-induced ED, are men who didn't start early on Internet porn. Most are in their late 30's to early 50's, and have a significant other. This doesn't mean that you will never recover if you continue to masturbate, orgasm or relapse into porn."

A little update after several months of posting this:
I strongly advice against MO before healing fully !!!

I have been MOing for 3 months without P, maybe once a day or every two days. Long story short: my morning woods are gone. I do not know if i still have PIED though... havent had the chance to see.

Anyway, i started abstaining 2 weeks ago and am starting it over again. This time until i am sure i am healed.

Also, i got rid of social media accounts, especially Instagram, which turns out to be almost the same as porn websites. It has this almost evil algorithm that keeps f***n with your brain.

Feel free to ask me anything.
 
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