Nimbus’ journal

wwalker19

Active Member
Hey Nimbus,

welcome back! This is a good place to be. Moving forward is always better than staying still. As for telling your wife, nobody knows but you. I will say this is something which thrives in secrecy, and being honest and open and getting support from someone who loves and cares about you makes a big difference. If she doesn't know and there is nobody to hold you accountable but yourself, it is much easier to slip up and convince yourself it isn't a problem, and things can go downhill from there fast.

I recommend the blocking software Covenant Eyes, it is incredibly helpful. It blocks content but more importantly it monitors your screen and AI can recognize pornographic content. It records the page too, so you can't get away with text or audio either. It has been indispensable in my reboot.

I am a strong proponent that addictions are crutches for us, and that by pursuing a better, happier, more fulfilling life, it will make porn easier to let go. Fill your time with hobbies you enjoy, be social, learn new things. See family. Do constructive things, stay physically active. Eat healthy, sleep consistently. The more you take care of yourself, the better it'll get.

Lastly, if there is some emotional reason you use porn, you need to understand that too. Maybe it is simply a behavior that got out of hand, or maybe it is helping medicate some sort of pain for you. Since you recognize it is possibly replacing your alcoholism, I recommend you really consider this. If you are using porn as a sort of way to medicate bad feelings, you can't just stop, because it'll come back. You'll need to replace it with a healthier way to cope with those emotions.

I hope this helps, and good luck!
 

wwalker19

Active Member
Hey Nimbus, I know what you mean about the addictions supporting one another. I did something similar with weed and porn. If you're looking for a 12 step for porn and sex addiction, there is SAA, sex addicts anonymous, and I think there is another called sex and love addicts anonymous. It wasn't my thing so much, because I don't really believe in faith necessarily, but it works for some people. Hopefully if the meetings are in person soon they'll be more impactful than virtual.

Don't beat yourself up when you relapse. The hardest part of recovering in my opinion is to accept that relapses happen and not be cruel to yourself, because they're a part of the process. For some guys, they're a big part of the process. But also, you can never become complacent and allow a relapse to happen without trying. It's easy to fall off the horse and stay off the horse like that.

If you relapse, something happened, which means you've gotta change something. Whether it is your blocks, your circumstances, your health, whatever it is, change it. If you relapse and just try again without changing anything, it's gonna happen again.

Keep going, don't give up, and you'll achieve your goals in time.
 

smeagle44

Member
Hey Nimbus,

I'd highly recommend SAA (sex addicts anonymous). There's also a group called PAA (porn addicts anonymous), but I personally prefer SAA. I'm also pretty similar to you -- started watching porn when I was 11, and spent 4 or 5 years unable to quit. Now I'm on day 87 of no porn, and I'm pretty sure it's all because of SAA.
 
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