I need to up my game.

Day 10

I need to up my game. At the beginning of this year I thought I was going to have a 3 months long streak by March and almost half of year is gone and I'm still deep. Fortunately, I haven't come here following a binge, that happened 10 days ago but I don't want to go back to the misery. Like this, another year will be gone with me not being able to overcome this thing. This addiction is the chains that hold me back. I need to be driven. I could never be my best version with what this thing is doing to my mind. I need to get my mind back first.
 
Day 11

Complete porn abandonment is the key. Complete starvation. It's hard but necessary. I can't waste any more time, I'm almost 31. It could easily turn into a "Relapse-Restart" marathon for life. I could be here at 40 years old writing the same fuckin "Day 1 I am depressed la la la". I need to remember what I'm really doing here.
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Complete porn abandonment is the key. Complete starvation. It's hard but necessary. I can't waste any more time, I'm almost 31. It could easily turn into a "Relapse-Restart" marathon for life. I could be here at 40 years old writing the same fuckin "Day 1 I am depressed la la la". I need to remember what I'm really doing here.

Hi, Escape- welcome back!

What you say is definitely the right key, complete porn-abandonment, I like the sound of that...!

Right, you don't want to be 54 years old, and still fighting this thing after decades (like me :rolleyes: ). I can say that various sexually obsessive behaviors intensified for me back in 1993, but because I had faulty recovery models to work with, it was trial and error for years, until I started finding what works for me.

So, having the right tools and information helps. There's the old school 12-step disease-model of addiction (that will be harder to work with), and then there's cutting edge approaches that focus on mindfulness. Find what works for you. If relapses are frequent, never be afraid to check two things: 1) your resolve (intensify it), and your method or plan (evaluate it).

Glad to see you, and proud of your current accomplishments!
 
Hi, Escape- welcome back!

What you say is definitely the right key, complete porn-abandonment, I like the sound of that...!

Right, you don't want to be 54 years old, and still fighting this thing after decades (like me :rolleyes: ). I can say that various sexually obsessive behaviors intensified for me back in 1993, but because I had faulty recovery models to work with, it was trial and error for years, until I started finding what works for me.

So, having the right tools and information helps. There's the old school 12-step disease-model of addiction (that will be harder to work with), and then there's cutting edge approaches that focus on mindfulness. Find what works for you. If relapses are frequent, never be afraid to check two things: 1) your resolve (intensify it), and your method or plan (evaluate it).

Glad to see you, and proud of your current accomplishments!
Thank you, Phineas. Yes, I'm back trying to beat my 25 days cold turkey record, hopefully I won't relapse again but it's hard. I have urges and craving for porn as I'm writing this. I think I've found what might work for me somehow, without getting into details yet, I'm testing it. I'm tired of restarting myself with a binge and having to reach again the day when the craving and the urges are no easier. It's as hard every time. I need to complete this and finally escape. This is also an experiment to see how much is porn and how much is me, how much porn affected me in all this time. First of all, I want to see if my severe social anxiety (that started around the age of 14) is a result of porn or not.
 

BridgeTri

Member
Keep up the good work mate! Remember what you want. Remember what reward lies there in front of you: A life where you are free to direct your energy and attention towards real connection and activities. Well done getting to 15 days. Make it to 16 now!
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Hi, Escape! I just realized I wasn't watching your journal, and so missed your replies... (*fixed!).

Wishing you the best with your current efforts, and would be interested in hearing your plan, once the testing phase proves successful.

Definitely, getting a handle on this habit, changing it, you'll see that so much relates to it. That's one of my goals is to boost my social confidence, which I think will be more or less automatic just simply beating this habit I got myself into.

You can do it. I'm standing with you.
 
Hi, Escape! I just realized I wasn't watching your journal, and so missed your replies... (*fixed!).

Wishing you the best with your current efforts, and would be interested in hearing your plan, once the testing phase proves successful.

Definitely, getting a handle on this habit, changing it, you'll see that so much relates to it. That's one of my goals is to boost my social confidence, which I think will be more or less automatic just simply beating this habit I got myself into.

You can do it. I'm standing with you.
Thank you. I appreciate the support.
 

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
Don't do it Escape! You are doing way too good and it's only going to get better each day from today that you move your life away from porn to better things.

Stay strong man, you got this!
 
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