I need to up my game.

E

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 10

I need to up my game. At the beginning of this year I thought I was going to have a 3 months long streak by March and almost half of year is gone and I'm still deep. Fortunately, I haven't come here following a binge, that happened 10 days ago but I don't want to go back to the misery. Like this, another year will be gone with me not being able to overcome this thing. This addiction is the chains that hold me back. I need to be driven. I could never be my best version with what this thing is doing to my mind. I need to get my mind back first.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Complete porn abandonment is the key. Complete starvation. It's hard but necessary. I can't waste any more time, I'm almost 31. It could easily turn into a "Relapse-Restart" marathon for life. I could be here at 40 years old writing the same fuckin "Day 1 I am depressed la la la". I need to remember what I'm really doing here.
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Hi, Escape- welcome back!

What you say is definitely the right key, complete porn-abandonment, I like the sound of that...!

Right, you don't want to be 54 years old, and still fighting this thing after decades (like me :rolleyes: ). I can say that various sexually obsessive behaviors intensified for me back in 1993, but because I had faulty recovery models to work with, it was trial and error for years, until I started finding what works for me.

So, having the right tools and information helps. There's the old school 12-step disease-model of addiction (that will be harder to work with), and then there's cutting edge approaches that focus on mindfulness. Find what works for you. If relapses are frequent, never be afraid to check two things: 1) your resolve (intensify it), and your method or plan (evaluate it).

Glad to see you, and proud of your current accomplishments!
 
B

BridgeTri

Member
Keep up the good work mate! Remember what you want. Remember what reward lies there in front of you: A life where you are free to direct your energy and attention towards real connection and activities. Well done getting to 15 days. Make it to 16 now!
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Hi, Escape! I just realized I wasn't watching your journal, and so missed your replies... (*fixed!).

Wishing you the best with your current efforts, and would be interested in hearing your plan, once the testing phase proves successful.

Definitely, getting a handle on this habit, changing it, you'll see that so much relates to it. That's one of my goals is to boost my social confidence, which I think will be more or less automatic just simply beating this habit I got myself into.

You can do it. I'm standing with you.
 
O

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
Don't do it Escape! You are doing way too good and it's only going to get better each day from today that you move your life away from porn to better things.

Stay strong man, you got this!
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Anxiety is higher than when I was binging porn. Shit. 18 days complete starvation. Quitting porn and drinking at the same time surely is hard.
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You're doing great, Escape! The anxiety, just like urges, will pass as you breathe through them.

I know what it is to quit two things at once, first my p-related behaviors, and then on top of that, ending a long time friendship (to honor my marriage).

But you can do it! Don't let the fact that you're quitting two things be an excuse to compromise on 1 (or both things). You got this! What else would you be doing? Acting on the unwanted behaviors? An immeidate fix for sure, but creating a longer term pain and suffering, regret, and a prolonging of the thing you're wanting to escape.

This can be the time where you leave all this behind.
 
J

JnanaYogiKarmaYogi

Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Anxiety is higher than when I was binging porn. Shit. 18 days complete starvation. Quitting porn and drinking at the same time surely is hard.
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I am with you, man. Just feel the anxiety. Just feel it into the very ground of your being. Don't escape. The goal is to relieve ourselves of all self-medication and to stare into the face of reality, smilingly and unflinchingly. I believe in you.
 
Y

yogi

Active Member
JnanaYogiKarmaYogi said:
I am with you, man. Just feel the anxiety. Just feel it into the very ground of your being. Don't escape. The goal is to relieve ourselves of all self-medication and to stare into the face of reality, smilingly and unflinchingly. I believe in you.
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Well said!
 
E

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
The fuckin urges do what they want. They left me alone for 2 days and then BAM! Massive urges, man. My general anxiety has doubled since I started this. Shit. Yesterday, I even had a mild panic attack.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
23 days complete starvation

I avoid making the mistakes that lead me to relapse and I "suffer the consequences" of doing this cold turkey. It sucks big time.
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The 'new you' will appreciate you enduring and not giving in to the sometimes persistent urges. Think of the urges as mere thought, and that just like other unwanted thoughts/feelings, they will pass.

Congrats on 23 days!
 
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