I need to up my game.

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Hey man, I just gotta say, quitting two very real addictions is quite the achievement, no matter how long it takes. I'm impressed by that. It wouldn't be called an addiction if you were able to quit it easily, and just because you relapsed before doesn't mean you're a failure at what you're doing. The trying again is the doing it. Every millisecond that you hold off your temptations is a success, and you can do it again in the next millisecond. I don't know if that's a helpful way to look at it, but I hope it is.
That's right, man. Thanks.
 

yogi

Active Member
Escape do not despair buddy!
Relapses hit any time, and when they do, they hit hard.

It's old pathways fighting for life.
But you can and will overcome them.

Read your own blog once again.
Read all the literature once again.
listen to all those videos/ podcasts once again.

Again strengthen your will power. It's a continuous process.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Escape do not despair buddy!
Relapses hit any time, and when they do, they hit hard.

It's old pathways fighting for life.
But you can and will overcome them.

Read your own blog once again.
Read all the literature once again.
listen to all those videos/ podcasts once again.

Again strengthen your will power. It's a continuous process.
Sure, man. Thanks.
 

xjonny88x

Member
Day 10

I need to up my game. At the beginning of this year I thought I was going to have a 3 months long streak by March and almost half of year is gone and I'm still deep. Fortunately, I haven't come here following a binge, that happened 10 days ago but I don't want to go back to the misery. Like this, another year will be gone with me not being able to overcome this thing. This addiction is the chains that hold me back. I need to be driven. I could never be my best version with what this thing is doing to my mind. I need to get my mind back first.
Absolutely, I'm the same way. I want to be better riding my mountain bike, I want my GED, I want a better paying job. But with my addiction constantly attacking me and making me vulnerable, I can never get my feet off the ground. Keep fighting!!!
 

xjonny88x

Member
Day 11

Complete porn abandonment is the key. Complete starvation. It's hard but necessary. I can't waste any more time, I'm almost 31. It could easily turn into a "Relapse-Restart" marathon for life. I could be here at 40 years old writing the same fuckin "Day 1 I am depressed la la la". I need to remember what I'm really doing here.
Neither do I and I'm 33
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 4

Very tough day. A big part of the day I had this kind of "anxiety mistaken for urges" type of thing that Your Brain On Porn talks about. It's a sort of urge of its kind. It's not that violent "now" urge that suffocates me but it's a lingering annoying urge in a moment of weakness that it's so hard to control for me. I barely survived, bro. I was this close to start edging. Then I went to work, afternoon shift and I felt miserable in there. Because nowadays I work alone, I had a strong urge to start watching porn right there, on my phone! I wanted to start watching porn then go to the bathroom to finish. I haven't done this bullshit in years, man! It disgusts me to even think about it. This is what this shit turns you into. I barely fuckin survived.

Then a deep depressive episode started... Again the same fuckin thing, being in no mood to talk to anybody or do anything, fortunately I work alone. Fuck, man. Thoughts about drinking entered my mind and I started thinking intensely about buying something to drink after work, I was this close with this too. I managed to survive this as well but denying myself the opportunity to drink makes me depressed. I had this sadness in me and feeling of low dopamine on my way home. I'm struggling with two addictions... I've been kind of depressed lately and unmotivated to do all this.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Proud of you for withstanding and dismissing two urges to two addictions. If we can get ourselves into two messes, we can walk back out of two messes.

I know the lower brain is sending all these signals of urges and then depressive feelings if the urges aren't met. But it's all 'thought/feeling' from the lower brain, and it can't make you do anything.

Think of how empowered you'll be for waiting, overcoming, dismissing these urges! You'll come out of this stronger, and more resilent. You're lower brain (the beast-brain) expects you to keep failing, so it can keep getting its dopamine. But you deserve so much more in life!

Keep fighting, brother!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Proud of you for withstanding and dismissing two urges to two addictions. If we can get ourselves into two messes, we can walk back out of two messes.

I know the lower brain is sending all these signals of urges and then depressive feelings if the urges aren't met. But it's all 'thought/feeling' from the lower brain, and it can't make you do anything.

Think of how empowered you'll be for waiting, overcoming, dismissing these urges! You'll come out of this stronger, and more resilent. You're lower brain (the beast-brain) expects you to keep failing, so it can keep getting its dopamine. But you deserve so much more in life!

Keep fighting, brother!
Definitely. Dismiss the reptilian brain.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Absolutely, I'm the same way. I want to be better riding my mountain bike, I want my GED, I want a better paying job. But with my addiction constantly attacking me and making me vulnerable, I can never get my feet off the ground. Keep fighting!!!
Porn is the ultimate motivation killer for me.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 6

I've been depressed for some days. I don't even know why I'm on day 6, the last two days I walked the thin line between the streak and the relapse. I feel I could relapse in any moment. I don't really have the motivation to do this.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Relapse.

Quitting my addictions is out the window these days. I can't stay sober and I can't stay porn free. Yesterday night, I drank some and then I jumped right into a PMO session. I didn't even have urges for porn... I didn't even know why I was doing it. I remember I stopped after 1 minute of edging and told myself: "You don't even have urges, why are you doing this?" But I continued anyway. I did it one more time and then I went to sleep.

I woke up in the morning with high anxiety. After about an hour, I proceeded to PMO-ing twice in an hour. Then I left for afternoon shift.

I know I should fuckin stay sober, not only for me but for the sake of having a chance to stay porn free but I can't fuckin do it. I don't even know what the fuck is going to happen, I'm lost and have no motivation to do this. I don't even know if I have the tools anymore to stay even 10 days without drinking and jerking me dick off. That's all I want to do. I want to numb myself with PMO and alcohol. That's all the fuck I want to do, it's pathetic.
 

AJM

Active Member
We need to escape.
Brother , Would it be better if we say "we need to fight/ we need to take the bull by the horns" ?
I personally feel Escaping is not the correct mindset to deal with porn , It gives porn more strength .
Brother I can feel the way you must be feeling now , we all have a different journey with highs and lows.
Trust the process, more power to you.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Brother , Would it be better if we say "we need to fight/ we need to take the bull by the horns" ?
I personally feel Escaping is not the correct mindset to deal with porn , It gives porn more strength .
Brother I can feel the way you must be feeling now , we all have a different journey with highs and lows.
Trust the process, more power to you.
I don't know. I'm going crazy with this shit.
 
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