I need to up my game.

Phineas 808

Respected Member
You are definitely NOT your grandfather or your uncle, Escape! You are doing something about it, you are reversing the trend, and being your own man with your own destiny and story to tell!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Keep going man. Remember that every day without porn is a victory. Every individual day. Everyone focuses on streaks but the number of porn free days counts as well.

Try to avoid drinking alone, that's something I've tried to cut out. I only drink in the presence of other people now, and rarely at home. I don't know if you drink beer but I've found the non-alcohol variants (which are now sold widely in my country) to be a decent substitute.
Absolutely. Every day without porn is a win.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Day 5

Staying porn free was still easy. The madness will start of course. It's been easy so far but wait. Being away from alcohol for half a month is starting to bother me. I've been kind of agitated and irritated.

The bosses want to organize another meeting like that one in April (April was it?). That fucked up my sobriety. I drank and I eventually ended up relapsing, I mean full blown relapse, going back to the same routine, although not right away but the seed was planted, somewhere deep inside I knew I wanted to drink again, another time. And my alcohol sobriety had been going really well, for the first time in too long to remember. This time I ain't going, fuck that. Seriously. I mean, the last thing I need right now is that thing to fuck up my sobriety again. Funny how this thing always comes when I'm finally able to get a longer streak without drinking. Of course I could go there and not drink, theoretically, but practically I can't. Being in the presence of alcohol won't make me last too long. Beside the fact that I have to quit drinking for its own reasons, it also affects my porn sobriety, I end up watching porn and relapsing.
 
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EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Funny how this thing always comes when I'm finally able to get a longer streak without drinking.
IKR. My own view is that this is the universe testing us. Just asking an "Are you sure?" question.

Today I went for a coffee with a friend. Usually 0 attractive girls at this coffee shop. But today. There was a one very cute girl sitting next to our table. Then 2 dudes at the table just in front left, to be replaced by 2 very cute girls. Obviously. Got triggered. Now time for some inner work...

Wish you all the best bro
EW
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
IKR. My own view is that this is the universe testing us. Just asking an "Are you sure?" question.

Today I went for a coffee with a friend. Usually 0 attractive girls at this coffee shop. But today. There was a one very cute girl sitting next to our table. Then 2 dudes at the table just in front left, to be replaced by 2 very cute girls. Obviously. Got triggered. Now time for some inner work...

Wish you all the best bro
EW
Thanks bro. I appreciate the support. Yes, this is how it happens, isn't it? When finally it's working for you, challenges come right away to test you. Those meetings at work seem to happen only after a longer streak without alcohol for me.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Day 6

Without alcohol and porn I feel low. I crave dopamine from anything unhealthy, like junk food and stuff like that.

Memories of porn make me want to reconsider my decision to quit.

I get tired quickly, I don't know what's going on, I seem to function these days like a laptop with 50% battery heath. I wake up wasted.

I'm agitated because of withdrawal (porn or alcohol? Or both).
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Congratulations, Escape, on over a week!

Hang in there! Your brain just knows that you mean business, but you are stronger than your strongest urges...!

Dismiss them mindfully, nonjudgementally. When they come, just observe them (like you're watching yourself in a movie), and breathe slowly and deeply until they pass. Rinse-and-repeat.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
I am tired of living in two states: One where I crave porn and one where I am miserable because of porn. I haven't been out of those two states in more than 10 years. The only thing that will stop the madness is quitting porn addiction but it's very hard. I started this streak with a lot of determination but the brain eventually starts coming up with arguments why I should forget about quitting. It's the fuckin brainwashing. It probably comes from subconscious. And the motivation to quit goes out the window. Flashbacks of favorite scenes and porn related fantasies make me want to reconsider my decision to quit. Honestly, if it wasn't for the way I started this streak, I wouldn't even be here on day 11. I'm tired of urges and the unbearable craving for porn. I don't know, sometimes I wonder if I'm one of those "genuine junkies" that will never quit their addictions until the end of their lives. Like those genuine drug addicts who never quit their drugs and ended up dead on overdose. See, the thing with this fuckin porn addiction is that there is no overdose. This addiction keeps you miserable all your life. Again, the only solution is quitting but again, it's too fuckin hard. Each one of us have our own personal experience with this rebooting process. Mine is a living hell and not because of severity of withdrawal but because of what happens in my head and my own life.
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Bro try to urge surf. Look it up on YouTube.

Accept it. Feel it. See it. Send love it. But don't add fuel to it.

Own it. You are the owner of your thoughts and emotions. Do you want to continue owning this?

Also repeatedly ask "And then what?!"

also what I am finding lately to work. "Act as if". Act as if you feel the love that you are.

Intent to connect with your heart. You higher self and God if you feel so inclined. Ask your higher self and Unity Consciousness/God for help.

---
Maybe try watching a movie?


Listen to some inspiring music? Call someone? Take a walk?

Wish you all the best.

Much love
EW
 

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
I'm struggling with the fuckin craving. I can't take this anymore, I don't know what to do. I might never quit this idiotic addiction.

I could give some advice on what I think you should do but EarthWalker already articulated it very well.

What I will add is if you're fighting yourself, putting yourself down and beating yourself up over this, it only feeds the part of you that wants to PMO even more!

Breathe in deep, hold for a moment and slowly breathe out. Let the urge pass through you. Use the brilliant A.W.A.R.E technique from Phineas here:

A.W.A.R.E.

A
- Acceptance. Be accepting, even welcoming of the anxious feelings, urges or fantasies;

W- Watchful. Watch as an outside observer without judgment, with compassion and understanding.

A- Act. Take action on these feelings, in terms of breathing deep, staying calm in the moment.

R- Repeat. Repeat steps 1-3, until the urges passes.

E- Expect. Know that these urges, and their preceding triggers, will come, but have an expectancy that you will handle them successfully.

And if that fails, escape from or 'flee' temptation. Get out and away of the house, take a 'toilet break' if you're at work, do something else, remove yourself from the place, room or activity that's sending you down the slippery slope.

If you're struggling, accept and remember this will pass. It will.

No one has ever regretted not relapsing.

Good luck.
 
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