I need to up my game.

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
And 35 days without drinking but I crave being not sober. Trying to do both at the same time is very hard. I wish I could deal with one at a time but I can't stay porn free when I drink and I definitely don't want to continue to watch porn while trying to quit drinking. Porn makes me depressed and I end up drinking for "comfort" anyway.
 
Hard urges, man. This is the type of moment when I would relapse. It's starting to get really difficult.
Hey man. I was just there like 30 min ago. Literally had to speak out loud to myself mid wank. Then took out my drawing book and dropped it dead. Idk what you need but telling out loud to myself sorta snapped me out of it. You've got this. You are stronger than your urges!
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Hard urges, man. This is the type of moment when I would relapse. It's starting to get really difficult.

I think you provided the best answer to your statement above when you earlier said,

What I've noticed is that, in my mind, the thought to act out and the thought to stay away from porn alternate. I could feel this strong determination to relapse but then an hour later I read something or watch something and I switch to, "That's right, man, I don't want to relapse." It's always better to wait and tell yourself, "Okay, not right now, even if I'm to relapse anyway, just not this minute." Waiting does wonders.

That space in between urge and response (or non-response) is where the 'golden key' is hidden, which unlocks all our chains.

In fact, your words above actually helped me recently. They came to mind when I had my own urges to deal with. Just wait out the urges, you can out last any urge!
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Hey man. I was just there like 30 min ago. Literally had to speak out loud to myself mid wank. Then took out my drawing book and dropped it dead. Idk what you need but telling out loud to myself sorta snapped me out of it. You've got this. You are stronger than your urges!

This was well said, Squidward! This strategy helped me many times. In 'mid-wank' (or looking up something), I'd say to myself, "What are you doing??"- or, "I don't have to do this...", etc...

If one is a believer, I've even started praising the Lord while doing the 'no-no'! God knows, He understands, He's already forgiven us. We're really new creations already, so we're just 'changing the chanel' from the old you to the new you. So it's not strange to snap ourselves out of it by distracting ourselves with worship, or whatever else.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Hey man. I was just there like 30 min ago. Literally had to speak out loud to myself mid wank. Then took out my drawing book and dropped it dead. Idk what you need but telling out loud to myself sorta snapped me out of it. You've got this. You are stronger than your urges!
Yo, man, thanks for support.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
That space in between urge and response (or non-response) is where the 'golden key' is hidden, which unlocks all our chains.

In fact, your words above actually helped me recently. They came to mind when I had my own urges to deal with. Just wait out the urges, you can out last any urge!
That's absolutely right. That time between the urge and the response is the key. I remember reading a quote about this, I don't know who said it. Waiting can indeed do wonders. So can avoiding the mistakes. Take me, I've relapsed several times starting with "Just some MO without porn, to lower the urges" which too me has the domino effect where it slowly but surely leads to porn. I've been having hard urges to do this MO without porn thing in the last couple of days but I told myself: "No, this is on the mistakes list!"
 

zaraki888

Active Member
That
Hard urges, man. This is the type of moment when I would relapse. It's starting to get really difficult.

Just hold on brother, the day is almost over. That moment when it get's really difficult, I'd say that is the moment of change. If you have to, I'd say get out of the house until you feel normal again, so you don't sit behind a screen. Keep mind and body busy like running crazy and listening to music or something until feeling passes away. Cold shower. Take care
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
That


Just hold on brother, the day is almost over. That moment when it get's really difficult, I'd say that is the moment of change. If you have to, I'd say get out of the house until you feel normal again, so you don't sit behind a screen. Keep mind and body busy like running crazy and listening to music or something until feeling passes away. Cold shower. Take care
Thanks for support and advice.
 
This was well said, Squidward! This strategy helped me many times. In 'mid-wank' (or looking up something), I'd say to myself, "What are you doing??"- or, "I don't have to do this...", etc...

If one is a believer, I've even started praising the Lord while doing the 'no-no'! God knows, He understands, He's already forgiven us. We're really new creations already, so we're just 'changing the chanel' from the old you to the new you. So it's not strange to snap ourselves out of it by distracting ourselves with worship, or whatever else.
Preach preacher! " Changing the channel from the old you to the new you". I love this & I'm gonna share it around to my friends!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Day 15

This is that period where it gets difficult and where I experience many days with hard urges 😒 But, it's the same every time. It doesn't get easier. This period always comes and only after going through it, I can escape. This goes for that nice thought that the mind likes to have: "This is tough! Relapse now but don't worry because next time it will be easier."

The mind can't tolerate many hard days but it can tolerate the "now". Collecting many "nows" will lead to many months.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Day 16

My mental health depends on my streak. Today I feel pretty good mentally but very very tempted. Pretty massive urges. I want to make it to the end of the year on hard mode and I know it is going to be really difficult. I've never been this long away from porn (100+ days!). Imagine me having that streak! Damn! It's possible, of course, but I need to handle the stress in my life. I want to start studying something to occupy my lonely time and my mind too.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
But, with me it functions like this: I have massive urges but I feel good. Energy is good, concentration is good, drive is alright. Then I relapse and enter, what I like to call, "mini flatline", a period that lasts days and has the symptoms described in flatline and during this phase I feel the opposite. It looks like in order to be pretty alright mentally I need to have massive urges :p Between urges and that mini flatline thing, I guess I have to choose urges. I'm talking about now, because I'm not done with porn and without being done with porn I'm in one of those 2 phases.

Something else I want to address: I often feel like those urges are a form of accumulated energy and this energy wants to go out. The way I've been "training" myself to let this energy out is through porn. That's why I feel it's neccessary to invest this energy in something during the day, tire yourself out with something you are passionate about, even exercise. Because if you just sit down and tell yourself "Don't relapse, don't relapse!" you will feel this energy attempting to push its way out of you and it's hard to resist, it's possible of course but not for everybody. For me it's a matter of time before I grab my dick. I've been doing push ups to consume some of this energy.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
That’s a good idea, and necessary, to redirect that energy into other activities, creative endeavors, too!

The opposite is often true, if we lapse in PMO, then it’s sapped all our creative energy for a while, and it’s hard to get even important stuff done.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
That’s a good idea, and necessary, to redirect that energy into other activities, creative endeavors, too!

The opposite is often true, if we lapse in PMO, then it’s sapped all our creative energy for a while, and it’s hard to get even important stuff done.
Yes, definitely. Our sexual energy is the most important energy we have. It's the energy used by people to achieve many things. This nofap thing is a powerful tool and I'm talking about it in this way because nowadays we don't do this naturally anymore. Long time ago, to do nofap was a natural course of life, people didn't jerk off to porn all day long. Porn is the ultimate sexual energy killer. Once this energy is gone, you won't have the same drive to achieve big things. Many of us porn addicts have achieved too little or almost nothing. Many of us have not achieved our burning desire. Many of us lie on the couch fantasizing about a version of us that we never reach. That's why it's crucial to quit porn, it's actually a great idea not to ejaculate at all outside of sex, because with each ejaculation you eliminate energy and nutrients. After 5 orgasms to porn a day, I feel completely drained. Do this every day and then see what energy you have left to do anything in your life. I was watching a podcast with an Indian who has many Yoga gyms. One of the things his Guru told him to avoid was ejaculation. Because this thing is very powerful. I understand sex and reproduction but masturbation and porn are an unnecessary draining of energy, in my opinion, they are a selfish sick of pleasure. When you are not the slave of pleasure anymore, you are powerful. Thanks to PMO binges I've been mediocre for too long and I'm fighting to get the necessary mindset to finally escape. Elon Musk said we spend too much energy on sex outside of reproduction. Maybe he could be seen as extreme, as in "sex for making kids only" type of thing but I understand what he means. This is the guy who used to sleep in the office and work for 18 hours a day or something like this, do you see him doing this while jerking off every day? Or having sex as his no. 1 priority, chasing chicks all day? No fuckin way. Everybody should do whatever they want but what I just said is my philosophy and what's in between me and the life I want is porn. Nofap as a way to unleash the true potential.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Day 17

I feel better mentally but I'm "willing" to throw everything away for a momentary pleasure. Thanks to my brain. But no, fuck that.

P.S: It's been a while since I reached this number of days. I'm again in that phase where I feel that I have the tools to do it if I avoid the mistakes. It's a must to avoid 2 things: drinking and MO. And edging in the morning. 3 things.
 
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