I need to up my game.

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Escapeandnevercomeback

Active Member
Day 16

My mental health depends on my streak. Today I feel pretty good mentally but very very tempted. Pretty massive urges. I want to make it to the end of the year on hard mode and I know it is going to be really difficult. I've never been this long away from porn (100+ days!). Imagine me having that streak! Damn! It's possible, of course, but I need to handle the stress in my life. I want to start studying something to occupy my lonely time and my mind too.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Active Member
But, with me it functions like this: I have massive urges but I feel good. Energy is good, concentration is good, drive is alright. Then I relapse and enter, what I like to call, "mini flatline", a period that lasts days and has the symptoms described in flatline and during this phase I feel the opposite. It looks like in order to be pretty alright mentally I need to have massive urges :p Between urges and that mini flatline thing, I guess I have to choose urges. I'm talking about now, because I'm not done with porn and without being done with porn I'm in one of those 2 phases.

Something else I want to address: I often feel like those urges are a form of accumulated energy and this energy wants to go out. The way I've been "training" myself to let this energy out is through porn. That's why I feel it's neccessary to invest this energy in something during the day, tire yourself out with something you are passionate about, even exercise. Because if you just sit down and tell yourself "Don't relapse, don't relapse!" you will feel this energy attempting to push its way out of you and it's hard to resist, it's possible of course but not for everybody. For me it's a matter of time before I grab my dick. I've been doing push ups to consume some of this energy.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Respected Member
That’s a good idea, and necessary, to redirect that energy into other activities, creative endeavors, too!

The opposite is often true, if we lapse in PMO, then it’s sapped all our creative energy for a while, and it’s hard to get even important stuff done.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Active Member
Phineas 808 said:
That’s a good idea, and necessary, to redirect that energy into other activities, creative endeavors, too!

The opposite is often true, if we lapse in PMO, then it’s sapped all our creative energy for a while, and it’s hard to get even important stuff done.
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Yes, definitely. Our sexual energy is the most important energy we have. It's the energy used by people to achieve many things. This nofap thing is a powerful tool and I'm talking about it in this way because nowadays we don't do this naturally anymore. Long time ago, to do nofap was a natural course of life, people didn't jerk off to porn all day long. Porn is the ultimate sexual energy killer. Once this energy is gone, you won't have the same drive to achieve big things. Many of us porn addicts have achieved too little or almost nothing. Many of us have not achieved our burning desire. Many of us lie on the couch fantasizing about a version of us that we never reach. That's why it's crucial to quit porn, it's actually a great idea not to ejaculate at all outside of sex, because with each ejaculation you eliminate energy and nutrients. After 5 orgasms to porn a day, I feel completely drained. Do this every day and then see what energy you have left to do anything in your life. I was watching a podcast with an Indian who has many Yoga gyms. One of the things his Guru told him to avoid was ejaculation. Because this thing is very powerful. I understand sex and reproduction but masturbation and porn are an unnecessary draining of energy, in my opinion, they are a selfish sick of pleasure. When you are not the slave of pleasure anymore, you are powerful. Thanks to PMO binges I've been mediocre for too long and I'm fighting to get the necessary mindset to finally escape. Elon Musk said we spend too much energy on sex outside of reproduction. Maybe he could be seen as extreme, as in "sex for making kids only" type of thing but I understand what he means. This is the guy who used to sleep in the office and work for 18 hours a day or something like this, do you see him doing this while jerking off every day? Or having sex as his no. 1 priority, chasing chicks all day? No fuckin way. Everybody should do whatever they want but what I just said is my philosophy and what's in between me and the life I want is porn. Nofap as a way to unleash the true potential.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Active Member
Day 17

I feel better mentally but I'm "willing" to throw everything away for a momentary pleasure. Thanks to my brain. But no, fuck that.

P.S: It's been a while since I reached this number of days. I'm again in that phase where I feel that I have the tools to do it if I avoid the mistakes. It's a must to avoid 2 things: drinking and MO. And edging in the morning. 3 things.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Active Member
It might help to go back and read post-relapse entries. The mind likes to "forget" why we are doing this in the first place. In that moment you tell yourself: "I will keep this feeling in mind when urges will be massive" but then 3 weeks later all that is a distant memory.
 
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guiganvoger

Member
You got this! I've been fighting some strong urges lately too, but I think about how far I have come (1 month on the first!) and I don't want to start over again to be exactly where I am now. What a stupid cycle to put on yourself! Stick with it!
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Active Member
guiganvoger said:
You got this! I've been fighting some strong urges lately too, but I think about how far I have come (1 month on the first!) and I don't want to start over again to be exactly where I am now. What a stupid cycle to put on yourself! Stick with it!
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Thanks, man. Yes, I hate to start from day 1 again, it's very depressing. This is tough but I can't relapse to put myself on day 1 now.
 
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