23 days complete starvation
I avoid making the mistakes that lead me to relapse and I "suffer the consequences" of doing this cold turkey. It sucks big time.
Hey, man, great to find you online. Thank you for the constant support.Hey escape ,
I you are doing fine , only mistake would be if you consider the enemy is defeated.
A long journey is yet to be completed but yes small success must be celebrated.
Cheers to the most perfect streak ever !!!
Mornings are the most difficult. I wake up with hard urges. They get easier after that. Evenings seem to be the easiest because the urges are almost nonexistent.
I have this feeling of low dopamine, like everything is boring and I need something to stimulate me.
Also, I have this lingering anxiety. I don't know yet whether it's porn related or not.
Definitely.The lower brain (limbic system) is tricky in its attempts to get it's dopamine hits...
As your brain continues to normalized, your dopamine levels will be more evenly dispersed, instead of looking for the exagerated highs from porn.
Try to reward yourself with positive and healthy things, to encourage healthy dopamine.
I was really helpful.Thank you and congratulations30 days cold turkey
I haven't relapsed once since starting this new journal. Yesterday I read all my post to see where I'm coming from. It's been going how it's supposed to be going, I guess.
30 days ago I was lost, desperate and depressed. I didn't know what I had been doing wrong that kept leading me to relapses. Until I saw that it was just in front of me and I didn't pay attention. I knew why I relapsed. I just refused take it completely seriously. I thought that I could handle a little mistake here and there. I thought I could drink sometimes and not relapse, I thought I could mess with edging "just a little bit" and not turn it into a full blown relapse. I was wrong. Then I said to myself: "Man, let's fuckin do this for once! Can we stop half-assing this thing?"
Everybody needs to find what works for them. I realized that I had been complicating myself too much. I realized that it might've worked better if I focused on quitting porn for now without trying to invest energy and mental space into complicated things in my life. Quitting porn is hard enough for me. This won't be forever. Just until things get easier and I get my mind back so I could work on my life.
What's been working for me is simplifying everything down to a few rules that I could focus on not breaking:
1) Avoiding all the mistakes from the past that have led to relapses. I really had to make a big effort to quit drinking but I have a drinking problem and it sucked big time because now I'm dealing with craving for 2 things. But, whatever it takes;
2) Not interacting with porn thoughts/fantasies/flashbacks. Stopping everything early before it has a chance to turn into a 15 minutes dopamine buffet "playing porn in my head";
3) Letting the urges come and go without entertaining them;
4) Accepting and facing the discomfort.
And that's it. I created for myself the best streak I've ever had. All of us here have the potential to do it. Even if we think we are fucked up, serial relapsers, people who can't get longer streaks, the truth is that we can. We can turn this into an unbelievable run. Peace. Stay strong. Remember: When the high is over, the misery takes over. And remember: When you feel you are done, you are at about 50%.