I need to up my game.

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Day 2

Fuckin day 2... I don't really have much motivation to restart. Sometimes I just want to indulge in the addiction, just like when I was 17 and had no clue about what I was getting myself into, but the difference is that now I know what I would get myself into.

As always after edging and multiple PMO sessions, I feel lethargic and depressed. I can't concentrate and I don't have any mood to do anything. Work becomes a hustle. Fuckin shit.
 

jonazo91

Member
Day 2

Fuckin day 2... I don't really have much motivation to restart. Sometimes I just want to indulge in the addiction, just like when I was 17 and had no clue about what I was getting myself into, but the difference is that now I know what I would get myself into.

As always after edging and multiple PMO sessions, I feel lethargic and depressed. I can't concentrate and I don't have any mood to do anything. Work becomes a hustle. Fuckin shit.
I'm in the same boat right now. I'm just trying to force myself to be as productive as I can be and move forward. Easier said than done. Good luck to you.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Day 3

The worst part after porn binges is the lethargy and depression. It's like the hangover after drinking too much. But it would be alright if I didn't have to go to work and pretend I was alright. I don't have any mood to interact with anybody at all, I just want to do my job and leave.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Day 6

I'm tired of restarting and feeling like I'm always heading towards the inevitable relapse. In December it will be 3 years of Reboot Nation, I've caught both versions of the website and I'm still buried deep in this addiction. What should I do to escape, I don't know. Sometimes it feels like I know what I have to do but I don't know what I'm missing. After PMO and edging binges I usually enter what I like to call "mini flatline". This is a period of time where you feel the symtoms of flatline: lethargy, no libido, anxiety, depression, shit concentration, poor sleep and stuff like that. I've been experiencing this for 6 days already and I don't like it at all. You know, without being free from this addiction, I am never in balance, I'm all the time in one of those 2 states: mini flatline or craving + urges. Both suck big time and I'm tired, I'm exhausted mentally, having to take care of my job doesn't help when I'm battling this and I can't afford to lose my job, I won't find a better paid one because I was lucky to get this one, it's not what I usually get. So, of course this is a pressure for me, to do well enough at work so I can keep it while not having much space in my head because of this addiction, actually I have 2 addictions that I have to deal with. 2 addictions plus the job plus the fact that I need to study a lot to be good at work. Sometimes I feel like I want to get a sick leave and spend some long time in a monastery or something, some temple or whatever, and I'm not even kidding, I feel like I need some peace and quiet and some good spiritual influence, away from all this fuckin busy, crowded and stressed city.
 

k-fff

Active Member
Day 6

I'm tired of restarting and feeling like I'm always heading towards the inevitable relapse. In December it will be 3 years of Reboot Nation, I've caught both versions of the website and I'm still buried deep in this addiction. What should I do to escape, I don't know. Sometimes it feels like I know what I have to do but I don't know what I'm missing. After PMO and edging binges I usually enter what I like to call "mini flatline". This is a period of time where you feel the symtoms of flatline: lethargy, no libido, anxiety, depression, shit concentration, poor sleep and stuff like that. I've been experiencing this for 6 days already and I don't like it at all. You know, without being free from this addiction, I am never in balance, I'm all the time in one of those 2 states: mini flatline or craving + urges. Both suck big time and I'm tired, I'm exhausted mentally, having to take care of my job doesn't help when I'm battling this and I can't afford to lose my job, I won't find a better paid one because I was lucky to get this one, it's not what I usually get. So, of course this is a pressure for me, to do well enough at work so I can keep it while not having much space in my head because of this addiction, actually I have 2 addictions that I have to deal with. 2 addictions plus the job plus the fact that I need to study a lot to be good at work. Sometimes I feel like I want to get a sick leave and spend some long time in a monastery or something, some temple or whatever, and I'm not even kidding, I feel like I need some peace and quiet and some good spiritual influence, away from all this fuckin busy, crowded and stressed city.
It’s amazing that this addiction wouldn’t even really exist if we weren’t essentially forced to be connected to the internet. Most jobs demand internet use and work. It’s frustrating as all hell. I do think something that would be great for men here is being able to have retreats like that where you’re a month away from that crap. But the essential problem is that all the triggers are still there when you come back. It’s just frustrating that we can’t be that more proactive in getting rid of this addiction due to the nature of work nowadays
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
It’s amazing that this addiction wouldn’t even really exist if we weren’t essentially forced to be connected to the internet. Most jobs demand internet use and work. It’s frustrating as all hell. I do think something that would be great for men here is being able to have retreats like that where you’re a month away from that crap. But the essential problem is that all the triggers are still there when you come back. It’s just frustrating that we can’t be that more proactive in getting rid of this addiction due to the nature of work nowadays
It's because of the Internet that we have this addiction in this form in the first place. The idea to go somewhere where I don't have any way to watch porn sounds good but the problem with me is that I can access porn from my head and it's actually something that I've been "loving" to do since I was a teenager. That is where this practice took shape for me because I didn't have too much access to porn so I used my memory of things I'd watched. I can't fuckin escape this shit. However, maybe with time I would get bored of the porn from my memory and without being able to watch anything I would eventually stop? I wonder. But who gives me all this time in a retreat somewhere so I could do this? And who wants to live like that for too long? I'm certainly not the monk type (no disrespect to them but it's not for me). I am not sure it would really work, even if I did it for a month (which I can't really do it because of work anyway but let's say I could leave for a month somehow, I mean, there is a way I could but it's not really something we do at work). Like you said, I would come back after this month and porn would be right there. A month is too little. More like half a year somewhere where I can't access porn? It's not really something doable in my life. I mean, yes, there are ways to be away from technology and not live like a monk but this means a radical change in your life anyway, going to some poor place without computers and phones cause only there you could have this situation. Therefore I'm stuck in this shit, I am scared honestly. I am scared that I would run this "Relapse/Restart" treadmill for the rest of my life while thinking "This time is the last time". I hope I'm wrong though.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
I think I should say Day 0. I did some long edging, which I shouldn't be fuckin doing. I broke my rules, what can I say? When you disrespect the rules list, this is what you get, thinking you can break the rules cause you are a champ and you can handle it. At least I want to remain with the semen retention stuff which maybe doesn't amount to too much in this situation but at least I won't further destabilize myself and give myself a bigger depressive episode. I'm fuckin up my mental health with this edging thing nevertheless. Fuck all this shit, really. I'm tired.
 

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
I think I should say Day 0. I did some long edging, which I shouldn't be fuckin doing. I broke my rules, what can I say? When you disrespect the rules list, this is what you get, thinking you can break the rules cause you are a champ and you can handle it. At least I want to remain with the semen retention stuff which maybe doesn't amount to too much in this situation but at least I won't further destabilize myself and give myself a bigger depressive episode. I'm fuckin up my mental health with this edging thing nevertheless. Fuck all this shit, really. I'm tired.

Not PMOing after looking at that stuff probably helps more than you think. Remember that by abstaining you are breaking the chain of habit and weakening the hold this addiction has over you, even if just a little.

The first time you do anything will always be the hardest and small successes will always accumulate. Keep going Escape!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
What's so fuckin complicated about respecting the rules? How many times do I need to disrespect them and pay the price? The rules are fuckin simple bro:

- No peeking;
- No MO;
- No drinking;
- No caffeine;
- Don't engage with fantasies and flashbacks;
- No edging to fantasies;
- Find something to do;

Maybe ~80 days until the end of the year. I don't want to start on January 1st with "Day 1" and the typical New Year Resolution that I am going to stay porn free for the entire 2022. I want to get there with momentum already and not have to depend on a stupid promise.
 

zaraki888

Active Member
If you still have the desire to watch porn then thoughts and images can come back in our mind when we have a bad day for instance, because in those difficult moments we think it can help to lessen the pain. brainwashing.

In my case these images also pops up in my mind suddenly when I have stress or hunger. Took me years to understand and figure this out as i wasn't horny at all but still wanted to peek and after one peek, i get horny.. You sure you aren't starving from food or having stress?

Do you take care of yourself?

Willpower depletes by every daily decision making like choosing cloth, food or being tired.

i eat or avoid stress when I tnink i feel urges starting to wake up.

There is I think a way to kill those porn thoughts and urges stored in your memory as i have done it to myself. so far it works for me.

By watching so much porn, everything until it gets so bored, i don't even want to watch anymore as it does nothing to me anymore, no pleasure, no erection. doesnt relieve stress. ''Easypeas book advice wrote having many sessions until the final session.''
On purpose desensitization. Using the bodies own desensitization protection mechanism to kill the desire to porn.

you know the video you watch is amazing but after edging and then rewind back , it doesn't do it anymore. this is killing the desire for me.

But I don"t know what kind of damage could be done to the nerves. And also if there is still something else like stress you haven't managed to deal with, you can still get tempted or other reasons.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
If you still have the desire to watch porn then thoughts and images can come back in our mind when we have a bad day for instance, because in those difficult moments we think it can help to lessen the pain. brainwashing.
Bro, porn has been my medicine since I was about 13. This is years before I got into alcohol.

In my case these images also pops up in my mind suddenly when I have stress or hunger. Took me years to understand and figure this out as i wasn't horny at all but still wanted to peek and after one peek, i get horny.. You sure you aren't starving from food or having stress?

I can definitely agree with having urges while hungry. It happens to me. Also when I drink caffeine and alcohol. And when I'm tired without sleep which happens at least a week a month, sometimes more, because I work night shift plus the nights when I can't sleep... I've always had troubles with sleep. This job doesn't really help now that it involves working nights.

By watching so much porn, everything until it gets so bored, i don't even want to watch anymore as it does nothing to me anymore, no pleasure, no erection. doesnt relieve stress. ''Easypeas book advice wrote having many sessions until the final session.''
On purpose desensitization. Using the bodies own desensitization protection mechanism to kill the desire to porn.

you know the video you watch is amazing but after edging and then rewind back , it doesn't do it anymore. this is killing the desire for me.

But I don"t know what kind of damage could be done to the nerves. And also if there is still something else like stress you haven't managed to deal with, you can still get tempted or other reasons.

I wish it was like that in my case. I've binged so much edging and PMO and I still crave porn like crazy after 9 days or so. Porn fucked up my mental health big time.
 

zaraki888

Active Member
I wish it was like that in my case. I've binged so much edging and PMO and I still crave porn like crazy after 9 days or so. Porn fucked up my mental health big time.

Hello Escapeandnevercomeback, I can understand and relate to you how you feel right now. It was just my thought and idea to find a sollution as you mentioned porn thoughts and memories coming back during reboot.

Keep going, you can do this as you have proven already! Take care. :)
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Hello Escapeandnevercomeback, I can understand and relate to you how you feel right now. It was just my thought and idea to find a sollution as you mentioned porn thoughts and memories coming back during reboot.

Keep going, you can do this as you have proven already! Take care. :)
Watching porn until I'm fed up with it or disgusted with it will probably never work for me. I've binged porn until I couldn't feel anything anymore and then 10 days later I craved it like crazy. What solution to use? I don't even know. I've no idea where this is going. I'm not really motivated but currently I'm in mini-flatline. Wait until the urges and that big craving start.
 

zaraki888

Active Member
Watching porn until I'm fed up with it or disgusted with it will probably never work for me. I've binged porn until I couldn't feel anything anymore and then 10 days later I craved it like crazy. What solution to use? I don't even know. I've no idea where this is going. I'm not really motivated but currently I'm in mini-flatline. Wait until the urges and that big craving start.

I don't think you crave porn. You want to relieve the strong traumatic withdrawal symptoms using porn. That is what I learned from the book Easypease. But porn is the cause that creates the withdrawal symptoms in the first place. Brainwashing.

The reason why the withdrawal symptoms related to porn is still strong after 10 days, is because it takes at least 3 weeks before the strong withdrawals symptoms related to porn start to go away and loses it's power. You need to stay strong until you reach day 22 with no peeks, no image, nothing.

For me I had avoid all women behind the computer, mobile phone, tv and in real life. I don't use any porn filter as it doesn't work for me as porn for me is everything which is a female I see. I learned the habit to look away quick. I don't watch ted talks with a women. Nope. I don't watch movies I don't know. Porn filters just makes the cravings worse as it becomes a forbidden fruit.

Be patient, don't give up, keep going. I am still rebooting myself so I have to first help myself. But this final sessoin to me helped me get rid of memories and thoughts stored in my mind and get out of the chaser effect cycle. Be patien, don't give up and keep getting up. Take care.

Also hunger and stress. Nerves that fire together, wire together. Easypease explains the brain misunderstand and thinks when I have stress, I am aroused so I watched porn or something which isn't, so I had to avoid stress and hunger with a day schedule and time limit brain use schedule.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
I don't think you crave porn. You want to relieve the strong traumatic withdrawal symptoms using porn. That is what I learned from the book Easypease. But porn is the cause that creates the withdrawal symptoms in the first place. Brainwashing.

The reason why the withdrawal symptoms related to porn is still strong after 10 days, is because it takes at least 3 weeks before the strong withdrawals symptoms related to porn start to go away and loses it's power. You need to stay strong until you reach day 22 with no peeks, no image, nothing.

For me I had avoid all women behind the computer, mobile phone, tv and in real life. I don't use any porn filter as it doesn't work for me as porn for me is everything which is a female I see. I learned the habit to look away quick. I don't watch ted talks with a women. Nope. I don't watch movies I don't know. Porn filters just makes the cravings worse as it becomes a forbidden fruit.

Be patient, don't give up, keep going. I am still rebooting myself so I have to first help myself. But this final sessoin to me helped me get rid of memories and thoughts stored in my mind and get out of the chaser effect cycle. Be patien, don't give up and keep getting up. Take care.

Also hunger and stress. Nerves that fire together, wire together. Easypease explains the brain misunderstand and thinks when I have stress, I am aroused so I watched porn or something which isn't, so I had to avoid stress and hunger with a day schedule and time limit brain use schedule.
I understand man, I feel you, but then why I craved porn on day 50 like absolute crazy? Based on what you said, I was supposed to be done on day 22. On day 50 I craved porn like you have no idea.
 
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