I need to up my game.

Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 5

I'm tempted.
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The only way out is through. The good news is that we don't have to do anything about the urges, to fight them or to feed them.

Just stay calm when tempted, and breathe deep through the urges until they pass. Rinse and repeat.

The more you don't respond to the urges, the weaker they become.

Surround yourself with positivity, even if that's not your normal nature. Think good thoughts, and believe in yourself. I know it sounds like a Hallmark card, but it does wonders in helping you become the person that you want to be.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Phineas 808 said:
The only way out is through. The good news is that we don't have to do anything about the urges, to fight them or to feed them.

Just stay calm when tempted, and breathe deep through the urges until they pass. Rinse and repeat.

The more you don't respond to the urges, the weaker they become.

Surround yourself with positivity, even if that's not your normal nature. Think good thoughts, and believe in yourself. I know it sounds like a Hallmark card, but it does wonders in helping you become the person that you want to be.
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I know.
 
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brandon1984

Member
dude, just went through your 24 pages....i felt like i was the one writing it! I can't speak for everyone but I have relapsed too many times to count. I stopped journaling in June but today is day 1 and I hope to continue. I agree, we can't listen to that voice in our heads saying we are strong enough to watch a little bit of this or that. WE AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH, PERIOD! I heard something about addicts and it's that the addiction trumps pretty much everything so my motivation was this hurting my wife, but the addiction doesn't care. It's all about the addiction first. Therefore we have to put ourselves in a position to win. One guy on a HBO special said he goes to the gym whenever he gets an urge. Now he's ripped. We have to stay busy. Pick a hobby. We are ALIVE, there's plenty of things to do. Help someone. Whenever we are alone and focused on ourselves is when we can get trapped to jerk it. I know there's a case at a late time in the night, i remember you said you woke up at like 430am and did it. In that situation it'll be hard to call someone, but a accountability partner is key. Well that's what this site is for. Maybe jump on and read someone else's story. KNOW THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT, in that moment, it'll be like a slap in the face that you'll need.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
brandon1984 said:
dude, just went through your 24 pages....i felt like i was the one writing it! I can't speak for everyone but I have relapsed too many times to count. I stopped journaling in June but today is day 1 and I hope to continue. I agree, we can't listen to that voice in our heads saying we are strong enough to watch a little bit of this or that. WE AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH, PERIOD! I heard something about addicts and it's that the addiction trumps pretty much everything so my motivation was this hurting my wife, but the addiction doesn't care. It's all about the addiction first. Therefore we have to put ourselves in a position to win. One guy on a HBO special said he goes to the gym whenever he gets an urge. Now he's ripped. We have to stay busy. Pick a hobby. We are ALIVE, there's plenty of things to do. Help someone. Whenever we are alone and focused on ourselves is when we can get trapped to jerk it. I know there's a case at a late time in the night, i remember you said you woke up at like 430am and did it. In that situation it'll be hard to call someone, but a accountability partner is key. Well that's what this site is for. Maybe jump on and read someone else's story. KNOW THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT, in that moment, it'll be like a slap in the face that you'll need.
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Yo, man, thanks for the reply. I started this journal well and made it to day 50 then I fucked up and fell back to the misery. That made me realize that it was just an anomaly and that I don't have the tools to make it happen, I just pushed myself to the limits until I got exhausted and I couldn't do it anymore. I've relapsed so many times in my life, before and after that streak. People came up with this term "serial relapser" and I fit the definition to a T. I'm the type of guy who relapses over and over again under two weeks, most of the time under 10 days. It's ridiculous. I want to say that this streak is "the streak" but I'm not so sure, I'm always one step away from a relapse.
 
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forceisstrong2

forceisstrong2

Active Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 6

Very very tempted today. I was one step away from starting my usual "routine" but I thought about the post-relapse depression and anxiety, I did some push-ups and now I seem to do better.
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That's great to hear Escape. Continue to develop strategies, routines, habits (like thinking about post-relapse and doing exercises) that'll help you and your willpower.

Keep fighting the good fight!
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 7

1 week.

This is the hardest fuckin addiction to quit, in my opinion and I'll explain why I believe this: It attacks one of (if not the most) important survival mechanism in our human species. Add sexual frustration (a.k.a you don't have any sex at all when everything around is sexualized) and you get a frustrated guy who is struggling to quit. If I ever escape this shit, it will be the biggest accomplishment in my life.
 
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brandon1984

Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Yo, man, thanks for the reply. I started this journal well and made it to day 50 then I fucked up and fell back to the misery. That made me realize that it was just an anomaly and that I don't have the tools to make it happen, I just pushed myself to the limits until I got exhausted and I couldn't do it anymore. I've relapsed so many times in my life, before and after that streak. People came up with this term "serial relapser" and I fit the definition to a T. I'm the type of guy who relapses over and over again under two weeks, most of the time under 10 days. It's ridiculous. I want to say that this streak is "the streak" but I'm not so sure, I'm always one step away from a relapse.
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we all are "1 step away from a relapse"!! lol That's EXACTLY how I feel 24/7. It's normal addict behavior or thought process I would think. We are TRUE ADDICTS. We can't knock that or let it slide as something less. We just have to take it 1 day at a time. We KNOW when we are about to break and relapse. We know it, we sense it....THAT'S when we need to run to this website. We have no excuse because we all have phones on us 24/7 and if we can look at P then we can come to this site. We have to CHOOSE! The grass is greener on the other side, like for real. A famous motivational speaker said that he had set a meeting with a guy at a beach. The guy met him. The speaker, ET, said let's walk into the ocean and not stop. They started walking. Soon they got to the point when they couldn't stand without the water coming over them. At this point the guy wanted to tread water so he could breathe. ET said how bad do you want to breathe?! When you get to the point when you want to succeed at the same level as you want to breathe right now, THAT'S when you'll succeed! We have to want to beat this thing THAT BAD!! LET'S GO!
 
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Squidward81

Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 7 Day 0

Relapse. I am tired of my life. I don't think I will try this rebooting thing again. I'm plain and simple exhausted.
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Dude, I'm sorry man. I was there a few days ago, where this whole thing seemed hopeless. There are no magic words any of us can say to fix what you are feeling. But it's just a feeling. It goes away. Things change, bad or good. I encourage you to not give up. Write all the feelings down, get them out and see how you feel.
We have all been there, and some of us are there right now. We understand and believe that you can make it. Don't give up.
 
Z

zackergeet

Active Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 7 Day 0

Relapse. I am tired of my life. I don't think I will try this rebooting thing again. I'm plain and simple exhausted.
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So sorry to hear that you relapsed man but the worst thing you can do is to give up, perhaps you should take a break about writing and analyze what you should do. Best of luck my friend and hopefully you will con back renewed and stronger.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Squidward81 said:
Dude, I'm sorry man. I was there a few days ago, where this whole thing seemed hopeless. There are no magic words any of us can say to fix what you are feeling. But it's just a feeling. It goes away. Things change, bad or good. I encourage you to not give up. Write all the feelings down, get them out and see how you feel.
We have all been there, and some of us are there right now. We understand and believe that you can make it. Don't give up.
Click to expand...
Thanks for encouragement.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 0

At this time I should invest more work in quitting alcohol.
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Sorry for your latest struggles, brother!

This is a legitimate thing to do, too. Focus on the alcohol first, especially as its proven to be a part of the PMO ritual for you. That would be a hack into the behavior if that's the case! When you put aside the alcohol, you'll build up your confidence to tackle PMO.

Either way, be gentle with yourself, self-compassionate, and understanding.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Phineas 808 said:
Sorry for your latest struggles, brother!

This is a legitimate thing to do, too. Focus on the alcohol first, especially as its proven to be a part of the PMO ritual for you. That would be a hack into the behavior if that's the case! When you put aside the alcohol, you'll build up your confidence to tackle PMO.

Either way, be gentle with yourself, self-compassionate, and understanding
Click to expand...
Thanks bro.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 1

My alcohol consumption got out of control. 2 days ago I was fucked up. I got so drunk that I couldn't move. There is no secret that I am an alcoholic, my parents know this too. I can't stay fuckin sober.

In December it will be 3 years since I've been on Reboot Nation. At least 3 years of intensely trying to quit porn but I have more years than this, I had been trying before joining Reboot Nation but 3 years since I've been taking this seriously and I feel like a hamster running on that wheel and going nowhere. I'm trapped in this "Relapse/Restart" marathon. I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. I am not sure I could ever quit, I am not sure this streak will be final, I don't know what the fuck I'm gon do. I am not promising anything, I am not declaring anything.
 
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