I need to up my game.

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
I feel you too brother. I got rejected soo many times with women. Now I don't even try. But one step at the time. As I am finding healthier ways of coping and working on myself. My luck has to change. It is psychological physics. The same I am seeing with my relationship with my mother. By just working on myself my relationship improved automatically without me trying to change or influence my mother. I am sure sooner or later I will attract the "right" woman in my life. Not totally sure how this will happen. But I believe it will. I am hopeful for the future.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I feel you too brother. I got rejected soo many times with women. Now I don't even try. But one step at the time. As I am finding healthier ways of coping and working on myself. My luck has to change. It is psychological physics. The same I am seeing with my relationship with my mother. By just working on myself my relationship improved automatically without me trying to change or influence my mother. I am sure sooner or later I will attract the "right" woman in my life. Not totally sure how this will happen. But I believe it will. I am hopeful for the future.
I don't know, man, yes I want to believe in the "right woman" but... I don't know. Also, the relationship between me and my mother is complicated. I mean, not complicated as in we don't speak but... I don't know how to say. Because I'm her son, I've inherited some things from her that I hate and she has those things and there is a big urge for me to get fed up with her sometimes, if this makes sense, I don't know.
 
@Escapeandnevercomeback well done so far. I commend you for putting drinking on hiatus, too. I know that for me, even a little drinking makes me all the more prone to fapping. That unfortunate "lowered inhibitions" effect being what it is. Speaking for myself, the only way I can abstain from the smut is if I stay away from booze as well. The two habits really feed each other. So starve them both, all at once.
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
if this makes sense, I don't know.
Makes perfect sense to me. Our parents project a lot of their stuff onto us. Stuff that belongs to them not us. I find it helpful when Jordan Peterson said that after age 25 we should view our parents as we would view our friends. I've also changed my perspective about my mother. She has her own life, her own needs and values that are her - not mine. If she wanted to have 2 daughters. This is her thing not mine. If I want to have kids or not is my sovereign decision as I am a free individual. But this is just me. Anyway.

You will figure it out. Step by step. Just know what you are saying makes perfect sense to me. I've been in a similar boat.

Onwards and upwards.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Makes perfect sense to me. Our parents project a lot of their stuff onto us. Stuff that belongs to them not us. I find it helpful when Jordan Peterson said that after age 25 we should view our parents as we would view our friends. I've also changed my perspective about my mother. She has her own life, her own needs and values that are her - not mine. If she wanted to have 2 daughters. This is her thing not mine. If I want to have kids or not is my sovereign decision as I am a free individual. But this is just me. Anyway.

You will figure it out. Step by step. Just know what you are saying makes perfect sense to me. I've been in a similar boat.

Onwards and upwards.
Thanks.
 

King Leer

Active Member
I don't know if she's right, but I know that I have this fear of disappointing my parents. Parents want to see their children have kids themselves. My biggest fear is not making this happen. It's like: "For generations, everybody had kids only you didn't." So I have a lot of emotions about this thing.
It seems like your mom just wants you to focus on your happiness. Maybe part of her happiness could just be seeing you happier.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Toward the idea of attracting the 'right woman', I don't understand how this works, but women seem to be drawn to a man in control of himself, meaning that he doesn't waste his semen, and doesn't look at P.

Just like women put out pheremone, it seems that our ability to control ourselves, especially in their presence, attracts them like crazy. So there's hope in that...

I know when I'm in a habit of acting out, it's like I'm invisible to women (and I shouldn't care because I'm married, but it still affects me, lol...). But when I'm abstaining for a while and in control of myself, I get a lot more attention from the opposite sex.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Toward the idea of attracting the 'right woman', I don't understand how this works, but women seem to be drawn to a man in control of himself, meaning that he doesn't waste his semen, and doesn't look at P.

Just like women put out pheremone, it seems that our ability to control ourselves, especially in their presence, attracts them like crazy. So there's hope in that...

I know when I'm in a habit of acting out, it's like I'm invisible to women (and I shouldn't care because I'm married, but it still affects me, lol...). But when I'm abstaining for a while and in control of myself, I get a lot more attention from the opposite sex.
Yes, I definitely agree with this.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
@Escapeandnevercomeback well done so far. I commend you for putting drinking on hiatus, too. I know that for me, even a little drinking makes me all the more prone to fapping. That unfortunate "lowered inhibitions" effect being what it is. Speaking for myself, the only way I can abstain from the smut is if I stay away from booze as well. The two habits really feed each other. So starve them both, all at once.
Thanks.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 4

The fact that I am an alcoholic is not a secret anymore. I can't stay sober. But, even if I can't stay sober for now, I want to stay porn-free, I want to try hard to make it happen. I got a little drunk yesterday and I was pushed hard to start edging to porn but I resisted.

I really need to do something about my drinking, man. Not only for the sake of porn rebooting, but for my sake.
 
Last edited:

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Porn needs to be abandoned completely, in all its shapes and forms, if we want to make it. Now, when we are highly addicted, there is no room for "a little taste". We must stop feeding ourselves this lie that we can handle "a little bit" or that a picture on social media is nothing. Because it is a lot, it is a lot when you go through massive urges and craving. Maybe it won't be a lot anymore after a year no porn but right now? We need to completely abandon porn. Cutting down doesn't help because it feeds the addiction. The addiction can be starved to death but it can't be starved to death if we feed it even a little. Watching less porn means you are still using.

Also, the problem of "hypersexual thoughts" needs to be always brought to the light. What are the hypersexual thoughts? The flashbacks, the fantasies created using porn and such things like those. They need to be avoided, as in not given attention, ignored, left alone. If you drown in them, they create massive urges because they create massive dopamine. Good luck staying porn free after hypersexual buffet in the mind. Not to forget that they release dopamine which means we feed the fuckin addiction.

Complete abandonment to porn.

It's not a matter of "Easier said than done", it's a matter of "Alright, let's do this."
 

Takeoff

Member
I got a little drunk yesterday and I was pushed hard to start edging to porn but I resisted.
I drink very rarely, but one time when I got drunk I came home, went to bed and a few minutes later I relapsed for some reason. It really doesn't help in leaving the PMO addiction, but it's a great tool for auto-destruction.
Have in mind that ethanol alters neurons' membranes as well as their ion channels, enzymes, binds directly to the GABA & serotonin & acetylcholine receptors and also NMDA receptors for glutamate... Inhibits NMDA functioning, binds to glycine receptors... Two of my main interests are psychopharmacology and neurobiology and honestly, I can't think of any drug with wider effects on the brain than ethyl alcohol. Not even mentioning what it makes the liver & pancreas go through.

The whole thing I wrote above was written just because I have some hope in me that it might show you, with just cold facts, how ethanol actually affects the body.
I really hope you get better. I wish I knew how to help you more, but if I did, I probably wouldn't be doing drugs myself.
 
Last edited:

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I drink very rarely, but one time when I got drunk I came home, went to bed and a few minutes later I relapsed for some reason. It really doesn't help in leaving the PMO addiction, but it's a great tool for auto-destruction.
Have in mind that ethanol alters neurons' membranes as well as their ion channels, enzymes, binds directly to the GABA & serotonin & acetylcholine receptors and also NMDA receptors for glutamate... Inhibits NMDA functioning, binds to glycine receptors... Two of my main interests are psychopharmacology and neurobiology and honestly, I can't think of any drug with wider effects on the brain than ethyl alcohol. Not even mentioning what it makes the liver & pancreas go through.

The whole thing I wrote above was written just because I have some hope in me that it might show you, with just cold facts, how ethanol actually affects the body.
I really hope you get better. I wish I knew how to help you more, but if I did, I probably wouldn't be doing drugs myself.
Hey, man, thank you for the information.
 
Top