You're not alone. You, along with many others, are on the frontier of the human experience. We see your suffering, we acknowledge your pain, and we are with you in your utmost vulnerability but we cannot make the choice for you. Only you can do that.Relapse. Binge all day.
Will you make the choice in ten years? Of course. Will you make it in five? Surely. Will you make it next year? Definetly. Will you make it in a month? Perhaps. Will you make it next week? Uncertain. Will you make it tomorrow? Probably not. Will you make it now? No.
In the end, it doesn't matter. The choice has to be made again and again.
I hope and pray you make the right choice Escape, but nobody else but you can make it right. What a tremendous power we have, so tremendous it's terrifying and any indulgance seems justified to avert our eyes to this truth that nothing truly determines us one way or another but our own conscious choice. Take courage, Escape, and turn the tide against yourself.