I need to up my game.

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Understanding that the addicted brain wants the pleasure, not me, is a big step, I'm telling you. Because there was always this voice in my head saying "I like the pleasure, I crave the pleasure!" but it was actually the addicted brain's voice. My lack of understanding kept the addicted brain hidden in plain sight. It became one with me and it stole the pronoun "I" and used it against me. It's not "I" crave the pleasure but "it" craves the pleasure. I don't want the pleasure, I don't need it. We need time and patience and eventually things will settle.

I really like this, brother! Well said!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Indeed, there's a lot of commonalities between various addictions. I've found help in researching how women deal with eating disorders, too. If you think about it, we all need to eat- and sex, too, is a natural biological function. So, these needs being so close to us, I learn from them.

Again, I learn from people who deal with OCD (especially with mindfulness training). Not saying one equals the other, but there's a lot of commonalities between OCD compulsions and addictive compulsions. Anxiety, PTSD, and of course Alcoholism and drug addiction, I've learned how to deal with my stuff from all these areas....

There's a lot of good stuff out there, a lot of help. Never despair, always learn.
Well said, bro. You know, sometimes I like to study other addictions because studying about porn addiction and nofap actually makes me think about porn and crave porn. And like you said, you learn from them too, all addictions share things.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 5

The reptilian brain craves pleasure and wants to be entertained as if this is a motherfuckin amusement park. But fuck that. Being a slave of pleasure is one of the worst things you could do. Running obsessively after something that never feels enough and gives you absolutely nothing.
 

Robby82

Member
DAY 40



I feel really good in general physically and mentally I have been crossing the flatline for a few days now and I believe this is the beginning of true healing I can only tell you that now I understand things that I did not understand before about life and that almost everything in my life has improved. everyday I feel much more energy concentration strength self-esteem clarity desire for social relationship and I no longer feel a slave to anything or anyone come on guys think with your head think about the benefits of NOFAP and don't be influenced by today's shitty society that just wants to control us mind it's not worth jerking off to enjoy 5 seconds and ruin yourself !!!!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
DAY 40



I feel really good in general physically and mentally I have been crossing the flatline for a few days now and I believe this is the beginning of true healing I can only tell you that now I understand things that I did not understand before about life and that almost everything in my life has improved. everyday I feel much more energy concentration strength self-esteem clarity desire for social relationship and I no longer feel a slave to anything or anyone come on guys think with your head think about the benefits of NOFAP and don't be influenced by today's shitty society that just wants to control us mind it's not worth jerking off to enjoy 5 seconds and ruin yourself !!!!
Good job, man. Keep up the good work.
 

DavS

Active Member
DAY 40



I feel really good in general physically and mentally I have been crossing the flatline for a few days now and I believe this is the beginning of true healing I can only tell you that now I understand things that I did not understand before about life and that almost everything in my life has improved. everyday I feel much more energy concentration strength self-esteem clarity desire for social relationship and I no longer feel a slave to anything or anyone come on guys think with your head think about the benefits of NOFAP and don't be influenced by today's shitty society that just wants to control us mind it's not worth jerking off to enjoy 5 seconds and ruin yourself !!!!
I totally agree with this post. You could use it for an affirmation.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 0

Relapse x 4. Drinking. What can I say? It's Christmas... Then the end of the year... I can't really stay sober in those two occasions but after this year is over I will make an effort to stay away from alcohol. This will help me with porn recovery for sure. I don't think I will post anything anymore in my journal until the end of the year, I don't really have anything more to say. I will return with new efforts.
 

zaraki888

Active Member
Day 0

Relapse x 4. Drinking. What can I say? It's Christmas... Then the end of the year... I can't really stay sober in those two occasions but after this year is over I will make an effort to stay away from alcohol. This will help me with porn recovery for sure. I don't think I will post anything anymore in my journal until the end of the year, I don't really have anything more to say. I will return with new efforts.

You can do this because this time you have Rational Recovery! The animal part has been exposed to you.

Take care
 
Last edited:

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
You can do this because this time you have Rational Recovery! The animal part has been exposed to you.

Take care
I will have to drop the fuckin drinking though. I felt things were going well and then I justified some drinking for Christmas and I jumped in the bed with the phone in my hand. I can't fuckin believe that I can't stop the sins even during Holidays. Technically, it wasn't Holiday, it was December 24 but still. But I have plans. Rational Recovery has been a help so far.
 

canguro

Active Member
I think you really have to stop drinking, if you want to stop porn! Many say don't do two things at once, but you can't achieve success in porm abstinence without stopping to drink, as it makes you loose all your willpower and stops you from caring about consequences!
How much/often do you drink right now?
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I think you really have to stop drinking, if you want to stop porn! Many say don't do two things at once, but you can't achieve success in porm abstinence without stopping to drink, as it makes you loose all your willpower and stops you from caring about consequences!
How much/often do you drink right now?
I know that I need to quit drinking in order to even have a chance to escape porn addiction. My drinking has gotten out of control in the past couple of months. I've been drinking a few days a week. I've been addicted to porn and alcohol for more than 10 years as a comfort zone. Fuckin shit. It just like you said: You suffer mentally so much that you crave this pleasure because of a few moments of relief from the suffering. In that case, even a little break from the suffering seems great.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I said yesterday that I don't want to write "Day 1" again here because I am not sure I will not relapse at the end of the year. I will drink, of course, maybe I will drink in the previous days too. So I can't guarantee I will be porn free until January. I'm trying though. But like I said, I have plans.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I have plans for next year. Everything will be scary and difficult but there is no other option. Continuing my life the way it is would be a waste of time. I will certainly return here with something new. For now, I am only fuckin around, not much for the moment, but it won't remain like this forever.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
I have plans for next year. Everything will be scary and difficult but there is no other option. Continuing my life the way it is would be a waste of time. I will certainly return here with something new. For now, I am only fuckin around, not much for the moment, but it won't remain like this forever.
I wish you the best @Escapeandnevercomeback dont ever lose hope, you will eventually reach your goals!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
The hardest part of being a porn addict (my experience) is the social activity that I'm forced to go through. When everything is going like shit with my porn recovery, after binges and days edging and watching porn, I am literally anti-social, I am the opposite of anything that is social. I can't stand people because of my high social anxiety in those days and the overall feeling of "Leave me alone, I'm hurt." I can't stand talking, forcing myself to talk and especially the fact that I look wasted and people ask me what's wrong, what upset me, what's with the face and shit like that. I can't stand when people do this. It's not like I want to open up to anybody like: "Yeah, man, you know, I'm a porn addict, I binged before coming to work and now I feel beaten and broken." That's why I hate to go out in society because you literally see it on my face that I just want to lock myself up away from everyone. I have my "plan for next year" again... But this time if I just talk the talk as always but I don't walk the walk, in a year I will be back here writing something similar.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
I know the feeling, Escape, whether it's around my family or co-workers, when I worked my job.

It used to be uncanny, too, people would ask the weirdest questions or make statements that were like, 'They know I binged last night...'. I can totally relate to the anti-social feelings, and desire to just be left alone.

If I accept grace when I've lapsed, then I should forgive myself right away, and perform as per normal. But this is always a challenge. There have been times when I've said, "Well, saw that coming. Now, time to move on..." But this is the exception.
 

logicprox

Active Member
Do you feel like the anxiety is coming from the unfulfilled purge to PMO/drink, or do you think you have always had the anxiety but have been using those to bury it, so when you don't you are forced to feel it?

For me I think it's the second. I always have had anxiety and used PMO as a bad way to cope. I didn't mention in my new journal, but I have finally admitted that I have social anxiety and generalized anxiety, largely driven by my perfectionism. I'm starting to work on that through CBT now. I suspect it is much easier to overcome these addictions if you also address the underlying cause. Might be worth starting there IF you feel like your situation is similar.

You've got this.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I know the feeling, Escape, whether it's around my family or co-workers, when I worked my job.

It used to be uncanny, too, people would ask the weirdest questions or make statements that were like, 'They know I binged last night...'. I can totally relate to the anti-social feelings, and desire to just be left alone.

If I accept grace when I've lapsed, then I should forgive myself right away, and perform as per normal. But this is always a challenge. There have been times when I've said, "Well, saw that coming. Now, time to move on..." But this is the exception.
It's hard, bro. I have no mood to be social after porn binges. They see it on my face that something is wrong and some ask those stupid questions what's wrong, why are you upset and shit like that. It's very annoying. People should know better. If you are not close friend with someone, do you expect them to tell you what's wrong?
 
Top