I need to up my game.

zackergeet

Active Member
Day 17

Mornings are the most difficult. I'm attacked by porn images.

I'm going through some stress and high anxiety. Porn and alcohol want to offer comfort.
You are doing it man, fight back you are detoxifying in these moments for getting a better quality of life. Don’t take the easy path, you know what it is at the end of way. Work towards your goal. I know you can do it! Keep it up my friend!
 
Day 17

Mornings are the most difficult. I'm attacked by porn images.

I'm going through some stress and high anxiety. Porn and alcohol want to offer comfort.
Escape that's a fantastic run!
Do not lose hope, every additional day of no PMO and no alcohol is a day of growth and transformation. Do not be afraid, the urges and anxieties will fade away with time.
 

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
I guess the talk about elevated anxiety and stress response in some porn addicts in recovery is not just a myth. I'm freaking the fuck out, man.

On day 17 you're taking back control from the beast-brain, which is screaming for it's same old, same old. But with your higher and smarter brain, you're taking back control, overriding the urges, and with your veto power, you're saying who's in charge!

The comfort that porn and booze offer is over in less than a second, and then you're stuck for the next days and weeks with suck-ass remorse, and horrible feelings of regret. The lower brain, the beast-brain likes to play this game> it urges you to use, like it's life-or-death, promising you paradise. But instead, half a second later, you're left with an empty bag, and anger toward yourself, and tons of regret, which start the cycle all over again... because the solution to all this pain? More porn and more booze!

Remember your lesson from recent experience, ignore the urges and breathe deep until they pass. Whatever you do, don't infuse them with emotions. You're doing great, Escape!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
On day 17 you're taking back control from the beast-brain, which is screaming for it's same old, same old. But with your higher and smarter brain, you're taking back control, overriding the urges, and with your veto power, you're saying who's in charge!

The comfort that porn and booze offer is over in less than a second, and then you're stuck for the next days and weeks with suck-ass remorse, and horrible feelings of regret. The lower brain, the beast-brain likes to play this game> it urges you to use, like it's life-or-death, promising you paradise. But instead, half a second later, you're left with an empty bag, and anger toward yourself, and tons of regret, which start the cycle all over again... because the solution to all this pain? More porn and more booze!

Remember your lesson from recent experience, ignore the urges and breathe deep until they pass. Whatever you do, don't infuse them with emotions. You're doing great, Escape!
Thanks for your support, man!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
God damn, man! I've never had a beginning of the year like this, regarding porn reboot. How many times have I said to myself in the past something like: "I will start on January 1st and I will not touch porn for the whole year" only to relapse on January 5 or something like this, with binge. This time something happened. Looking at how my last months before the end of the year went, you probably couldn't have anticipated this run after New Year. Of course, I'm tempted. It's tightrope every day. What has been helping me so far is 2 things:
1) Ignoring the porn images from my head by focusing on something else, not giving them attention. This helps me to handle the urges. If I start paying attention to those flashbacks for minutes, I get massive urges and it gets very hard to resist. I guess the longer you mess with porn thoughts (hypersexual porn thoughts), the more trouble you give yourself. The best solution is to brush away the porn thoughts in the first second, breath and focus on something else, and wait for the frenzy to calm down.
2) Visualize the end result: I start edging to porn, it could go for hours, it could go for half an hour. Then I O. The I probably binge. And then I feel empty, I crave more pleasure (the pleasure is never enough) and I feel regret and depression. Next day I experience high anxiety and lethargy. I go to work and I am overwhelmed. I have high anxiety, brain fog, I can't concentrate etc. I place myself in that scenario to show myself what waits for me for a few moments of pleasure.

But also staying away from drinking is a big help. I crave drinking a lot, I crave the sedation of alcohol, but that would surely make me binge porn.
 

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
God damn, man! I've never had a beginning of the year like this, regarding porn reboot. How many times have I said to myself in the past something like: "I will start on January 1st and I will not touch porn for the whole year" only to relapse on January 5 or something like this, with binge. This time something happened. Looking at how my last months before the end of the year went, you probably couldn't have anticipated this run after New Year. Of course, I'm tempted. It's tightrope every day. What has been helping me so far is 2 things:
1) Ignoring the porn images from my head by focusing on something else, not giving them attention. This helps me to handle the urges. If I start paying attention to those flashbacks for minutes, I get massive urges and it gets very hard to resist. I guess the longer you mess with porn thoughts (hypersexual porn thoughts), the more trouble you give yourself. The best solution is to brush away the porn thoughts in the first second, breath and focus on something else, and wait for the frenzy to calm down.
2) Visualize the end result: I start edging to porn, it could go for hours, it could go for half an hour. Then I O. The I probably binge. And then I feel empty, I crave more pleasure (the pleasure is never enough) and I feel regret and depression. Next day I experience high anxiety and lethargy. I go to work and I am overwhelmed. I have high anxiety, brain fog, I can't concentrate etc. I place myself in that scenario to show myself what waits for me for a few moments of pleasure.

But also staying away from drinking is a big help. I crave drinking a lot, I crave the sedation of alcohol, but that would surely make me binge porn.

You've got the drive, the strategies and now the evidence that it works! If you've made it this far, there's no reason you can't go another week, another month, or beyond!

I feel like PMO & the drinking in your case (and probably mine too) are not so much separate addictions as they are two sides of the same coin. Craving one leads to craving the other, indulging in one leads to indulging in the other right? Perhaps it may be better to think of the drinking not as an individual struggle but as one half, itself a symptom of the overall addiction? One that you're beating every day clean I might add!

With every day and every decision in the direction of recovery, you're building more momentum and becoming stronger against the urges, not the opposite! Don't let the withdrawals trick you otherwise.

Keep up the great work Escape! You got this man.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
You've got the drive, the strategies and now the evidence that it works! If you've made it this far, there's no reason you can't go another week, another month, or beyond!

I feel like PMO & the drinking in your case (and probably mine too) are not so much separate addictions as they are two sides of the same coin. Craving one leads to craving the other, indulging in one leads to indulging in the other right? Perhaps it may be better to think of the drinking not as an individual struggle but as one half, itself a symptom of the overall addiction? One that you're beating every day clean I might add!

With every day and every decision in the direction of recovery, you're building more momentum and becoming stronger against the urges, not the opposite! Don't let the withdrawals trick you otherwise.

Keep up the great work Escape! You got this man.
When alcohol is involved, I usually end up binging PMO. I don't necessary relapse every single time I drink though, so this gives my brain the reason to say I can handle it this time, it's just one time and I can do it without watching porn, as I've done on other occasions before. It's especially more dangerous when the streak gets longer, like now. I have more chances to stay porn free when my streak is something like 5 days than it's when I haven't touched porn in almost 3 weeks. I know that if I mess with alcohol now, I'm done for. I think it was Jordan Peterson that said in an interview something like this: Alcohol doesn't make people not realize the consequences of what they are going to do next, but it makes them not care anymore about the consequences. Thanks for support, man!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 18

It's easy to remember what day I'm on because the streak follows the calendar. I haven't touched P, edging, MO or PMO since the beginning of the year.

Being tired sucks balls big time, man. I work night shifts now and being tired gives me massive urges and less control. But I'm trying to resist. The longer the streak gets, the more "sensitive" to porn I become. I trigger on everything. But what I've realize, in my case and it might apply to other people to, is that I have a better chance to stay porn free if I manage my hypersexualized porn related thoughts. When urges are massive, I have this strong urge to fantasize porn, and this creates even more urges. The longer it lasts, the harder is for me to stay away from actual porn. I feel like I have only 1 second to divert my attention away from the porn thoughts or else I'm fucked. I could say this has been the number 1 tools that has helped me stay porn free. The good thing is that I usually only have 2 night shifts in a row, so if I resist this night too, then everything should get back to normal for the next 10 days. I'm almost on week 3. The craving for porn and alcohol is pretty intense but I need to go on without them. I want to prove to myself that I can actually navigate through my emotions and obstacles without having to constantly seek refuge in porn and getting drunk. Thanks for your support, y'all! Stay strong!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 19

For now, I've found what works for me. I hope it will continue to work. I see improvements already.

19 days without drinking and I need to keep in mind to stay away from alcohol because it can sabotage me quickly and then who knows when I will get to 19 days again, maybe months.

I believe everybody has a way in which will beat this addiction. Find this solution, find what works for you, how you should reboot and don't give up, never stop searching for the solution.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Day 19

For now, I've found what works for me. I hope it will continue to work. I see improvements already.

19 days without drinking and I need to keep in mind to stay away from alcohol because it can sabotage me quickly and then who knows when I will get to 19 days again, maybe months.

I believe everybody has a way in which will beat this addiction. Find this solution, find what works for you, how you should reboot and don't give up, never stop searching for the solution.
There you go @Escapeandnevercomeback i am cheering for you and I believe that you can do it. You are doing amazing, almost 3 weeks!
 

Robby82

Member
I wanted to share this thought of mine with you and know what you think since we are facing an addiction that is in any case comparable to that of drugs or alcohol and has been demonstrated in the book yourbrainonporn even if obvious in a different form but the brain damage and reception dopamine is similar if not worse we have heard of people who have lost work, home and family due to addiction to porn I believe that as for drug addicts or alcoholics we need to search for the root cause that led us to have the addiction can be varied for how I think if it is to satisfy the libido and that's it you can defeat it with a bit of willpower if it is something else like being left by a partner or dissatisfaction in bed or absence of relationships you have to work more on the psychological side to avoid relapses and I believe that when you are about to relapse you need to think about the cause that leads us to do it to defeat the addiction and be stronger the "monster" takes us when we are weak but if we are not we can do nothing about it we must be clear about the causes in my opinion
 
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