I like how you said that: If you make it a big deal, it will be a big deal. I need to avoid panicking. There is a little bit of fear, you know, "Will I be able to pass this without relapsing?" The thing with porn is that I've seen that I can do it, in 24 days I've been challenged multiple times but when it comes to alcohol, you see, it's tricky, I didn't really crave it much until today so I focused more on porn and then BAM! I craved alcohol all of a sudden like crazy. You know, funny or not, I can outcome hard urges when it comes to porn but when it comes to alcohol I almost never could say the same in the past. In 2021 my longest streak without drinking was 40+ days (46?) achieved only once and then the rest of the streaks were embarrassing. You know what's crazy? I say that my number one problem is porn but I've had more success with no porn in the past than with no alcohol. Given the fact that alcohol almost always makes me indulge in porn, I think I should focus more on actually staying sober because this seems to be an even bigger challenge! It's crazy when you realize something like this. And the thing is, I started with porn, alcohol came later as a result of me trying to medicate the problems caused by porn."Bumped into the killer" is right! But, he's also another killer like PMO that you can ignore and go about your day. Always remember that he brings his ugly cousin (PMO) along with him whenever he shows up.
But, just like with porn, if we make it too big a deal it will be a big deal. All the power to say, 'No' or 'Yes' is in you, and not in whatever is reminding you- some outward trigger, or emotional state like depression.
There's a difference I make between 'external triggers' (or cues, I prefer to say), say like a billboard advertising P, or alcohol and 'internal triggers' where emotionally we feel rejected when passed over for a promotion, let's say, that can also act to cue us toward either of these behaviors.
No matter, because in both cases, you have the power to dismiss any urges that come from these.