I need to up my game.

33 days porn free

You know, a couple of months ago I realized that I had to change my mentality. I needed to embrace the suck. I had to lose that mentality of slave to the comfort zones and self-medication. If all I do when things get hard is running back to my comfort zone, I will get nowhere. The comfort zone is like a small yard where you lock yourself up and live nothing.

I thought I had it. Everything was going great. I had 25 days without porn and it looked like this was going to be the streak. But then I made a big mistake. I decided to drink again (after 2 months!), I got a little drunk and binged porn all day. I was devastated. I felt exhausted after the battle for the last streak and for a while after that I entered a phase of getting drunk as fuck and binging porn. Then I stopped and told myself: "Hold on, what the fuck have you been doing? What was that thing? Embrace the suck? Are you actually doing this?" So I got back up, I quit alcohol, I faced the first days without porn and alcohol. I faced craving for a drink. I faced the days with massive urges for porn. I faced days with urges more massive than massive. But I've survived. And do you know what this has taught me? It has taught me that, while the streak is ongoing, I can actually keep going. If other days like those come, I know I can face them because I've done it already. Because, when you are in the middle of it, you can push further. If you relapse, it usually gets really difficult to get a similar streak for a while. I've seen it happening, to myself as well. We get a 30 days long streak, we mess up and then our streaks look like 10 days, 7 days, 5 days... We don't need that. Keep going with the streak and don't look back.

The only sure thing that gets rid of porn addiction is time. We need to have patience and break everything into smaller parts. The mind might not be able to deal with "months of discomfort" but it can deal with "now".
 
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Phineas 808

Respected Member
So I got back up, I quit alcohol, I faced the first days without porn and alcohol. I faced craving for a drink. I faced the days with massive urges for porn. I faced days with urges more massive than massive. But I've survived.

Everything you wrote above is true and inspiring, Escape! It's enough that we face the 'giant' of p-addiction, but for you to face down a two-headed giant, alchol and porn, is highly commendable!

And what's true for one monster is true for the other, starvation. The habit can only survive insofar as we feed it, or react to it (for or against). It's only as we dismiss the urges (to drink, to look at crap, etc), do we sink the blade into the monster, and change our habit and our life!

I'm reminded of a movie on Merlin the Magician (not the series) where the secret to defeating Medusa (beautiful, but turns our hearts to stone), is to ignore her, to pretend that she's not even there (smartly, of course). It was either Medusa or some evil witch, but whatever...

And I think this word is so important: But I've survived. This is what folk need to hear, is that no matter how intense the urges are, even screaming for us to fulfill them as if our very life depended on it, they will invariably subside on their own, without ever being acted on. Our addiction is centered in the part of the brain where survival and reward are, the most basic human or animal needs. That's why it feels like our urges are going to kill us unless we surrender... But this only strengthens the animalistic part of the brain, and starves the prefrontal cortex, where our critical thinking and decision making capabilities are. But we can be confident that the urges will subside if ignored, and we will survive.

Good job and inspiring!
 
33 days porn free

You know, a couple of months ago I realized that I had to change my mentality. I needed to embrace the suck. I had to lose that mentality of slave to the comfort zones and self-medication. If all I do when things get hard is running back to my comfort zone, I will get nowhere. The comfort zone is like a small yard where you lock yourself up and live nothing.

I thought I had it. Everything was going great. I had 25 days without porn and it looked like this was going to be the streak. But then I made a big mistake. I decided to drink again (after 2 months!), I got a little drunk and binged porn all day. I was devastated. I felt exhausted after the battle for the last streak and for a while after that I entered a phase of getting drunk as fuck and binging porn. Then I stopped and told myself: "Hold on, what the fuck have you been doing? What was that thing? Embrace the suck? Are you actually doing this?" So I got back up, I quit alcohol, I faced the first days without porn and alcohol. I faced craving for a drink. I faced the days with massive urges for porn. I faced days with urges more massive than massive. But I've survived. And do you know what this has taught me? It has taught me that, while the streak is ongoing, I can actually keep going. If other days like those come, I know I can face them because I've done it already. Because, when you are in the middle of it, you can push further. If you relapse, it usually gets really difficult to get a similar streak for a while. I've seen it happening, to myself as well. We get a 30 days long streak, we mess up and then our streaks look like 10 days, 7 days, 5 days... We don't need that. Keep going with the streak and don't look back.

The only sure thing that gets rid of porn addiction is time. We need to have patience and break everything into smaller parts. The mind might not be able to deal with "months of discomfort" but it can deal with "now".
Congrats on 33 days especially taking on your 2 demons at once. You are a warrior brother!
I really like your approach and outlook on this and I am so ready to embrace the suck like you and many others have. You're totally right after a relapse it is tough to get back to a good streak again. In April i reached 16 days before I fell off the wagon and since I have been stumbling and manged to only reach a streak 6 days. It's time again though I need to get back track. I am not focusing on a streak I am just focusing on the now day by day hour by hour fighting off the urges and not giving in this time. Next thing one hour turns into a day a day turns into a week and so on. I really love your simple approach to this.

Keep pushing brother we are all in this battle together. Never look back keep looking forward!!
 
And what's true for one monster is true for the other, starvation. The habit can only survive insofar as we feed it, or react to it (for or against). It's only as we dismiss the urges (to drink, to look at crap, etc), do we sink the blade into the monster, and change our habit and our life!
I believe in complete starvation. The sure way to beat this.

I'm reminded of a movie on Merlin the Magician (not the series) where the secret to defeating Medusa (beautiful, but turns our hearts to stone), is to ignore her, to pretend that she's not even there (smartly, of course). It was either Medusa or some evil witch, but whatever...
Good idea, definitely.

And I think this word is so important: But I've survived. This is what folk need to hear, is that no matter how intense the urges are, even screaming for us to fulfill them as if our very life depended on it, they will invariably subside on their own, without ever being acted on. Our addiction is centered in the part of the brain where survival and reward are, the most basic human or animal needs. That's why it feels like our urges are going to kill us unless we surrender... But this only strengthens the animalistic part of the brain, and starves the prefrontal cortex, where our critical thinking and decision making capabilities are. But we can be confident that the urges will subside if ignored, and we will survive.
That's exactly what it is. The withdrawal of porn addiction doesn't kill so what more can it do to me if it won't kill me?

Thank you for constant support.
 
Congrats on 33 days especially taking on your 2 demons at once. You are a warrior brother!
I really like your approach and outlook on this and I am so ready to embrace the suck like you and many others have. You're totally right after a relapse it is tough to get back to a good streak again. In April i reached 16 days before I fell off the wagon and since I have been stumbling and manged to only reach a streak 6 days. It's time again though I need to get back track. I am not focusing on a streak I am just focusing on the now day by day hour by hour fighting off the urges and not giving in this time. Next thing one hour turns into a day a day turns into a week and so on. I really love your simple approach to this.

Keep pushing brother we are all in this battle together. Never look back keep looking forward!!
Definitely. The thought of doing this for days and days, tens of days, might sound hard to tolerate. But we can tolerate the moment. Minute by minute.

Thank you for support.
 
Day 35

5 weeks hard mode. I am tempted every day but I resist. Mornings are still the hardest when urges are the strongest.

I will probably stop counting day by day and I will go back to my "checkpoint system" that I had on the old website. Next checkpoint is 40 days.

Sometimes I can't believe how far I am, especially if I consider where "I come from". I had a period of drinking like crazy and binging porn, it looked like another wasted year without me being able to get out of that.
 
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Day 35

5 weeks hard mode. I am tempted every day but I resist. Mornings are still the hardest when urges are the strongest.

I will probably stop counting day by day and I will go back to my "checkpoint system" that I had on the old website. Next checkpoint is 40 days.

Sometimes I can't believe how far I am, especially if I consider where "I come from". I had a period of drinking like crazy and binging porn, it looked like another wasted year without me being able to get out of that.
Great job on making it to day 35. You are killing it man! I know what you mean about those morning urges they are tough but you got this. Be proud of how far you have come and never look back my friend.
 

yogi

Active Member
Escape keep up the good work.

Urges can come at different times for different people.
For me it was mostly evening time.

Even now, though I am abstaining and preparing for my exams, I continue to get these peculiar evening headaches that will then subside as night passes. I realise that these are urges manifesting as headaches OR they are withdrawal headaches, coz most of my PMO used to happen in the evenings after I return from work.
 
Escape keep up the good work.

Urges can come at different times for different people.
For me it was mostly evening time.

Even now, though I am abstaining and preparing for my exams, I continue to get these peculiar evening headaches that will then subside as night passes. I realise that these are urges manifesting as headaches OR they are withdrawal headaches, coz most of my PMO used to happen in the evenings after I return from work.
Yes. The hardest urges for me are in the morning. Probably because of my history of waking up and masturbating to flashbacks and fantasies when I was about 13-14 and then edging to flashbacks in the morning and then moving on to PMO after I got high speed Internet.
 
Great job on making it to day 35. You are killing it man! I know what you mean about those morning urges they are tough but you got this. Be proud of how far you have come and never look back my friend.
Absolutely. The temptation is still massive but I never want to go back to that shit. I don't want to wait 5 weeks again to get here, as long as I'm here, I might as well go on. It's not easy but it is what it is. Embrace the suck!
 
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