I need to up my game.

Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
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Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 42

Today I have 6 weeks without deliberately looking at porn. I'm still tempted every day.
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You're welcome, Escape. What does this temptation look like? Is it urges that come on a daily basis? Have they changed in intensity? Does it feel like you're relying on sheer will-power?

It's all just the lower-brain trying to get it's fix. But I hope you can- yes, keep vigilant, keep that sharp edge, but kind of relax into your recovery. Trust the process, trust the science of habit-change.

The fact is, that for 6 weeks you've not given in to the urges, that has got to affect the habit itself. Are there other things that can be changed that surround the times or circumstances of these daily temptations? I ask, because the urges have to first be 'cued' or 'triggered'. If you know what cues these urges, you can kind of just observe them from a nonjudgmental and relaxed place, as you breathe through and dismiss the urges.

I admire your focus and determination, and that permanent change will be your reward.
 
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Maglue

Active Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Anxiety is higher than when I was binging porn. Shit. 18 days complete starvation. Quitting porn and drinking at the same time surely is hard.
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Dude that's nothing lol...I'm day 5 off junk food binging, gambling, alcohol, and PMO ...

I'm also 12.5 weeks off smoking green now..

I'm on the right path
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Phineas 808 said:
You're welcome, Escape. What does this temptation look like? Is it urges that come on a daily basis? Have they changed in intensity? Does it feel like you're relying on sheer will-power?

It's all just the lower-brain trying to get it's fix. But I hope you can- yes, keep vigilant, keep that sharp edge, but kind of relax into your recovery. Trust the process, trust the science of habit-change.

The fact is, that for 6 weeks you've not given in to the urges, that has got to affect the habit itself. Are there other things that can be changed that surround the times or circumstances of these daily temptations? I ask, because the urges have to first be 'cued' or 'triggered'. If you know what cues these urges, you can kind of just observe them from a nonjudgmental and relaxed place, as you breathe through and dismiss the urges.

I admire your focus and determination, and that permanent change will be your reward.
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Thanks, man.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Embrace the suck! It is what it is, it's inavitable, the urges are inevitable, the discomfort is inevitable. The only thing that heals this is time. But you see, this addiction works with "instant gratification", we "can't wait", we want things "now". Porn gives us the fake pleasure "now". Therefore, waiting until the withdrawal is gone seems a burden. It is not a "now" thing. But we need to re-train our brain to understand that many things in life take time. It's not an overnight thing, it's one day at a time, hour by hour. We need patience and breaking the things into smaller parts. "Months of suck" sound overwhelming but we can tolerate the very moment in front of our eyes. We need to be present with our discomfort and that's how we grow.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 45

Fuckin craving is interminable. Sometimes it feels like this is all my brain wants, forever and ever.

BUT:

Today, anxiety is low, energy is high and I feel more drive to do things. However, I've had those episodes of depression in the evening, I don't know why. Let's see if today's evening brings another one.

When the high is over, the misery takes over.

Embrace the suck! Nobody escapes porn addiction easily. The only way out is through the pain.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 46

I am going to do hard mode from now on. I mean, I started already on day 40. It's my personal choice. Today I have 1 week hard mode. And, I have joined the "Regeneration July" on nofap reddit. I'm not a member there but I'm in anyway. And I've gone almost all June without porn too. I started on June 4th.

Don't forget why you are doing this and embrace the suck!
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 50

Damn, man, 50 fuckin days without porn? This is truly unbelievable. But it shouldn't be, because I know how I got here, it is not by mistake. I've been mostly consistent with my plan. I've made some small mistakes though, like drinking a couple of times and masturbating once (both being potential triggers for binging porn) but I've survived. I have to eliminate all the mistakes though. Also, I need to deal with urges better. I like Phineas' approach but probably I need some time to understand how to do it. Until now, I've been running through urges military-style 🤣 Anyway, this is a big victory for me so far. I don't know, I really had this feeling 50 days ago that it would work. I started with 3 rules (Mistakes management, fantasies management, embrace the suck) and it produced results right away. Maybe there is really something in keeping it simple. Next checkpoint is 55 days.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

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Staff member
Moderator
Congratulations on 50 days, Escape! Awesome stuff!

“...running through urges military style”, haha, that’s classic!

Let me know any questions you have on the way I do it, using mindfulness, or other techniques, and I’ll answer best I can.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

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