I need to up my game.

Pazienza

Pazienza

Active Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 1

Broken. I feel like shit but at least I could say it's day 1.
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Hey man, nothing about this is easy. I know what you're going thru, I also quit drinking and it's a very difficult road to travel. And then quitting porn at the same time makes it that much harder. Keep fighting! I promise you, if you stick with it, it will get better.

Keep your head up brother
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Skittelz said:
Hey man, nothing about this is easy. I know what you're going thru, I also quit drinking and it's a very difficult road to travel. And then quitting porn at the same time makes it that much harder. Keep fighting! I promise you, if you stick with it, it will get better.

Keep your head up brother
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Thank you for support.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 3

When you don't remember what day you should be on and scroll up to check out and it says "Saturday" and you have to actually look at the calendar to know what day it is, you know you're fucked.

So I've finally figured out it's day 3. It hasn't been easy, I've been struggling more than usual, craving on day 2? When it used to take me at least 7.

For a long time I've been struggling with the idea whether I could quit porn first and then put together my shattered inner world later but... I don't know, I've been failing and failing to do the former. Which has stated to make me think whether is really possible for me to quit porn first and then heal myself later. Fuck.
 
Simon2

Simon2

Well-Known Member
Those two things aren's separate. Your porn use is part of what you feel is a broken inner life. You don't have to perfect either healing from one day to the next but you need to work on both - one step at a time- to heal I think. Maybe you start with a small goal for your life that you can hold to - something that would make you feel good - see if having some accomplishment with that helps you gain strength to resist P.

Also - if you do fail don't let yourself be dragged into such a dark hole. SO many of us have failed many times. People who've now quit for good failed many times. When you fail you have to put that behind you and take the next positive step in your life. One failure in many days is still better than failing multiple times a day. Try to learn from what happened and then remember that THIS MOMENT is the only real time you have control over. The past is already gone. Make this moment good.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
SimonM said:
Those two things aren's separate. Your porn use is part of what you feel is a broken inner life. You don't have to perfect either healing from one day to the next but you need to work on both - one step at a time- to heal I think. Maybe you start with a small goal for your life that you can hold to - something that would make you feel good - see if having some accomplishment with that helps you gain strength to resist P.

Also - if you do fail don't let yourself be dragged into such a dark hole. SO many of us have failed many times. People who've now quit for good failed many times. When you fail you have to put that behind you and take the next positive step in your life. One failure in many days is still better than failing multiple times a day. Try to learn from what happened and then remember that THIS MOMENT is the only real time you have control over. The past is already gone. Make this moment good.
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I appreciate the help man.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 1

4 PMOs yesterday or how many times I actually did it anyway, I can't even remember. Being a fuckin alcoholic has a serious impact on my porn addiction. I can't develop a good streak because I keep getting drunk and PMO. I need to address sobriety first. It's getting out of hand completely.
 
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GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 3

When you don't remember what day you should be on and scroll up to check out and it says "Saturday" and you have to actually look at the calendar to know what day it is, you know you're fucked.

So I've finally figured out it's day 3. It hasn't been easy, I've been struggling more than usual, craving on day 2? When it used to take me at least 7.

For a long time I've been struggling with the idea whether I could quit porn first and then put together my shattered inner world later but... I don't know, I've been failing and failing to do the former. Which has stated to make me think whether is really possible for me to quit porn first and then heal myself later. Fuck.
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I think quitting bad habits and healing your inner soul goes hand in hand . Just like how when we are starved for food eating nutritious food leads to both loss of hunger and strength to carry on both at same time .

so I guess it’s futile to think remove bad first then welcome the good … nope it doesn’t work .

Welcome the light(healing process and methods) into your day to day forcefully while you’re still in darkness and you shall see the darkness starts to subside and light is gradually illuminating your life .

I pray to my lord and at same time I fight my addictions. Sometimes I pray while I am caged inside addictive behaviors for a second and resume my addictive acts . Sometimes I stop acting out while I pray . It’s a miracle and also behavioral science .

so I strongly suggest .
the key is to keep doing what heals you from inside every single day without fail

while you fight your addiction at the same time .

GeminiMan(formerly known as Man in 30s)
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 2

I've said it a thousand times: If I don't quit alcohol, I have no chance with porn. And I crave a drink like crazy already :( To be honest with you right now, today I don't regret becoming a porn addict, I regret becoming an alcoholic. Without this fuckin shit, I would've had a lot more success with porn, even broken as I am.
 
Pazienza

Pazienza

Active Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 2

I've said it a thousand times: If I don't quit alcohol, I have no chance with porn. And I crave a drink like crazy already :( To be honest with you right now, today I don't regret becoming a porn addict, I regret becoming an alcoholic. Without this fuckin shit, I would've had a lot more success with porn, even broken as I am.
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I can tell you that alcohol addiction is a mean SOB to battle with. There were no hacks or tricks that I know of to stop, so I just used old-school willpower and miserable times. I still have dreams about drinking, even years later.

But it does get better. I promise. Keep fighting and hang in there.

I wish I had more encouraging words to say, but that's all I got.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Skittelz said:
I can tell you that alcohol addiction is a mean SOB to battle with. There were no hacks or tricks that I know of to stop, so I just used old-school willpower and miserable times. I still have dreams about drinking, even years later.

But it does get better. I promise. Keep fighting and hang in there.

I wish I had more encouraging words to say, but that's all I got.
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I appreciate the support nevertheless. Don't worry about it. Thanks.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 1

I want to say I'm tired of all this shit but it comes without saying already. The ridiculous thing is that I relapsed without drinking. Then after the relapse I got drunk... I want to say I regret having ever gotten into this self-medication bullshit but it's in vain now. I can't change that without actually escaping this.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
“Our culture has become hooked on the quick-fix, the life hack, efficiency. Everyone is on the hunt for that simple action algorithm that nets maximum profit with the least amount of effort. There’s no denying this attitude may get you some of the trappings of success, if you’re lucky, but it will not lead to a calloused mind or self-mastery. If you want to master the mind and remove your governor, you’ll have to become addicted to hard work. Because passion and obsession, even talent, are only useful tools if you have the work ethic to back them up.”

- Goggins
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 5

One of the best things one can do with this stupid porn addiction is to develop the habit of not giving it attention. That's what it wants, the addicted you wants attention because by giving it attention, it can start trying to convince you. The thoughts, the porn images, the memory of great past experiences etc. We must develop the habit to distract ourselves from them, ideally in the first second. That would be the ultimate goal, to do it in the first second when it starts. Can you do it later too? Maybe, but why make it harder for yourself? It's especially important when urges are very strong. This is when usually people start giving dopamine to the brain by giving attention to the porn thoughts and images. I know it's easy to say it but hard to do. But we can do it. Holding the porn dopamine from going crazy does wonders. As porn addiction is a habit, this practice can also become a habit. Instead of the habit of entertaining porn thoughts, the habit of not entertaining the porn thoughts.
 
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