I need to up my game.

SimonM

Member
You know, we are often better at seeing other people's lives in perspective and can give them very helpful and insightful advice even if we don't manage to follow it ourselves. So don't say your support means nothing to anyone because you are not able to follow it at times. The fact that you have these insights means you have tools to put to your disposal to help yourself. And sometimes the best way to get on the path of self-healing is to give of yourself to others. Don't give up! There is hope for you and for all of us!
 

jonazo91

Active Member
You still have a right to live and contribute to discussions and have relationships with people while you're in the midst of fighting your addictions. It's not like you're a worthless person until the moment you finally are once and for all 100% over your addictions. You'll always be fighting this motherfucker. It sucks. I hate it, it makes me feel like a broken person. I was watching some show the other day where someone said being an addict is like being a pickle, you'll never go back to being a cucumber. That makes me fucking depressed if it's true. But it is what it is. It doesn't stop you from having worth, and it doesn't mean you don't have a right to share advice and experiences and everything else. It's not like only non-addicts are good people.

Idk. It's hard, man. You're fighting two very serious and very real addictions. We're all here because we all know what it's like, at least to some extent. Fighting it is hard, and it doesn't feel like a glorious, heroic fight. It feels like "how many hours and seconds can I hold off from being a piece of shit again." I have to think it gets better. We're in this together.

For what it's worth, you're doing better than I am.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Hang in there, Escape! You're doing great to keep coming back here and checking in. You've shown such an incredible amount of perseverance!

I think particularly is right, why not try AA? No harm giving it a shot. No matter how the method does or doesn't work for you, it could be good for you to connect with others in a similar spot.
I'm thinking about going to AA. If this attempted sobriety streak this time doesn't show results, I will go for sure.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
You know, we are often better at seeing other people's lives in perspective and can give them very helpful and insightful advice even if we don't manage to follow it ourselves. So don't say your support means nothing to anyone because you are not able to follow it at times. The fact that you have these insights means you have tools to put to your disposal to help yourself. And sometimes the best way to get on the path of self-healing is to give of yourself to others. Don't give up! There is hope for you and for all of us!
Maybe you're right man.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
You still have a right to live and contribute to discussions and have relationships with people while you're in the midst of fighting your addictions. It's not like you're a worthless person until the moment you finally are once and for all 100% over your addictions. You'll always be fighting this motherfucker. It sucks. I hate it, it makes me feel like a broken person. I was watching some show the other day where someone said being an addict is like being a pickle, you'll never go back to being a cucumber. That makes me fucking depressed if it's true. But it is what it is. It doesn't stop you from having worth, and it doesn't mean you don't have a right to share advice and experiences and everything else. It's not like only non-addicts are good people.

Idk. It's hard, man. You're fighting two very serious and very real addictions. We're all here because we all know what it's like, at least to some extent. Fighting it is hard, and it doesn't feel like a glorious, heroic fight. It feels like "how many hours and seconds can I hold off from being a piece of shit again." I have to think it gets better. We're in this together.

For what it's worth, you're doing better than I am.
I don't know how I'm doing better than you but I'm admitting that I'm a mess. Something needs to change otherwise I'll fuckin go crazy. I can't stand me being me anymore. A transformation needs to happen.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Hey man, nothing about this is easy. I know what you're going thru, I also quit drinking and it's a very difficult road to travel. And then quitting porn at the same time makes it that much harder. Keep fighting! I promise you, if you stick with it, it will get better.

Keep your head up brother
Thank you for support.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 3

When you don't remember what day you should be on and scroll up to check out and it says "Saturday" and you have to actually look at the calendar to know what day it is, you know you're fucked.

So I've finally figured out it's day 3. It hasn't been easy, I've been struggling more than usual, craving on day 2? When it used to take me at least 7.

For a long time I've been struggling with the idea whether I could quit porn first and then put together my shattered inner world later but... I don't know, I've been failing and failing to do the former. Which has stated to make me think whether is really possible for me to quit porn first and then heal myself later. Fuck.
 

SimonM

Member
Those two things aren's separate. Your porn use is part of what you feel is a broken inner life. You don't have to perfect either healing from one day to the next but you need to work on both - one step at a time- to heal I think. Maybe you start with a small goal for your life that you can hold to - something that would make you feel good - see if having some accomplishment with that helps you gain strength to resist P.

Also - if you do fail don't let yourself be dragged into such a dark hole. SO many of us have failed many times. People who've now quit for good failed many times. When you fail you have to put that behind you and take the next positive step in your life. One failure in many days is still better than failing multiple times a day. Try to learn from what happened and then remember that THIS MOMENT is the only real time you have control over. The past is already gone. Make this moment good.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Those two things aren's separate. Your porn use is part of what you feel is a broken inner life. You don't have to perfect either healing from one day to the next but you need to work on both - one step at a time- to heal I think. Maybe you start with a small goal for your life that you can hold to - something that would make you feel good - see if having some accomplishment with that helps you gain strength to resist P.

Also - if you do fail don't let yourself be dragged into such a dark hole. SO many of us have failed many times. People who've now quit for good failed many times. When you fail you have to put that behind you and take the next positive step in your life. One failure in many days is still better than failing multiple times a day. Try to learn from what happened and then remember that THIS MOMENT is the only real time you have control over. The past is already gone. Make this moment good.
I appreciate the help man.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 1

4 PMOs yesterday or how many times I actually did it anyway, I can't even remember. Being a fuckin alcoholic has a serious impact on my porn addiction. I can't develop a good streak because I keep getting drunk and PMO. I need to address sobriety first. It's getting out of hand completely.
 

GeminiMan

Active Member
Day 3

When you don't remember what day you should be on and scroll up to check out and it says "Saturday" and you have to actually look at the calendar to know what day it is, you know you're fucked.

So I've finally figured out it's day 3. It hasn't been easy, I've been struggling more than usual, craving on day 2? When it used to take me at least 7.

For a long time I've been struggling with the idea whether I could quit porn first and then put together my shattered inner world later but... I don't know, I've been failing and failing to do the former. Which has stated to make me think whether is really possible for me to quit porn first and then heal myself later. Fuck.
I think quitting bad habits and healing your inner soul goes hand in hand . Just like how when we are starved for food eating nutritious food leads to both loss of hunger and strength to carry on both at same time .

so I guess it’s futile to think remove bad first then welcome the good … nope it doesn’t work .

Welcome the light(healing process and methods) into your day to day forcefully while you’re still in darkness and you shall see the darkness starts to subside and light is gradually illuminating your life .

I pray to my lord and at same time I fight my addictions. Sometimes I pray while I am caged inside addictive behaviors for a second and resume my addictive acts . Sometimes I stop acting out while I pray . It’s a miracle and also behavioral science .

so I strongly suggest .
the key is to keep doing what heals you from inside every single day without fail

while you fight your addiction at the same time .

GeminiMan(formerly known as Man in 30s)
 
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