I need to up my game.

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Day 42

Today I have 6 weeks without deliberately looking at porn. I'm still tempted every day.

You're welcome, Escape. What does this temptation look like? Is it urges that come on a daily basis? Have they changed in intensity? Does it feel like you're relying on sheer will-power?

It's all just the lower-brain trying to get it's fix. But I hope you can- yes, keep vigilant, keep that sharp edge, but kind of relax into your recovery. Trust the process, trust the science of habit-change.

The fact is, that for 6 weeks you've not given in to the urges, that has got to affect the habit itself. Are there other things that can be changed that surround the times or circumstances of these daily temptations? I ask, because the urges have to first be 'cued' or 'triggered'. If you know what cues these urges, you can kind of just observe them from a nonjudgmental and relaxed place, as you breathe through and dismiss the urges.

I admire your focus and determination, and that permanent change will be your reward.
 
Last edited:

Maglue

Active Member
Anxiety is higher than when I was binging porn. Shit. 18 days complete starvation. Quitting porn and drinking at the same time surely is hard.

Dude that's nothing lol...I'm day 5 off junk food binging, gambling, alcohol, and PMO ...

I'm also 12.5 weeks off smoking green now..

I'm on the right path
 
You're welcome, Escape. What does this temptation look like? Is it urges that come on a daily basis? Have they changed in intensity? Does it feel like you're relying on sheer will-power?

It's all just the lower-brain trying to get it's fix. But I hope you can- yes, keep vigilant, keep that sharp edge, but kind of relax into your recovery. Trust the process, trust the science of habit-change.

The fact is, that for 6 weeks you've not given in to the urges, that has got to affect the habit itself. Are there other things that can be changed that surround the times or circumstances of these daily temptations? I ask, because the urges have to first be 'cued' or 'triggered'. If you know what cues these urges, you can kind of just observe them from a nonjudgmental and relaxed place, as you breathe through and dismiss the urges.

I admire your focus and determination, and that permanent change will be your reward.
Thanks, man.
 
Embrace the suck! It is what it is, it's inavitable, the urges are inevitable, the discomfort is inevitable. The only thing that heals this is time. But you see, this addiction works with "instant gratification", we "can't wait", we want things "now". Porn gives us the fake pleasure "now". Therefore, waiting until the withdrawal is gone seems a burden. It is not a "now" thing. But we need to re-train our brain to understand that many things in life take time. It's not an overnight thing, it's one day at a time, hour by hour. We need patience and breaking the things into smaller parts. "Months of suck" sound overwhelming but we can tolerate the very moment in front of our eyes. We need to be present with our discomfort and that's how we grow.
 
Day 45

Fuckin craving is interminable. Sometimes it feels like this is all my brain wants, forever and ever.

BUT:

Today, anxiety is low, energy is high and I feel more drive to do things. However, I've had those episodes of depression in the evening, I don't know why. Let's see if today's evening brings another one.

When the high is over, the misery takes over.

Embrace the suck! Nobody escapes porn addiction easily. The only way out is through the pain.
 
Last edited:
Day 46

I am going to do hard mode from now on. I mean, I started already on day 40. It's my personal choice. Today I have 1 week hard mode. And, I have joined the "Regeneration July" on nofap reddit. I'm not a member there but I'm in anyway. And I've gone almost all June without porn too. I started on June 4th.

Don't forget why you are doing this and embrace the suck!
 
Day 50

Damn, man, 50 fuckin days without porn? This is truly unbelievable. But it shouldn't be, because I know how I got here, it is not by mistake. I've been mostly consistent with my plan. I've made some small mistakes though, like drinking a couple of times and masturbating once (both being potential triggers for binging porn) but I've survived. I have to eliminate all the mistakes though. Also, I need to deal with urges better. I like Phineas' approach but probably I need some time to understand how to do it. Until now, I've been running through urges military-style 🤣 Anyway, this is a big victory for me so far. I don't know, I really had this feeling 50 days ago that it would work. I started with 3 rules (Mistakes management, fantasies management, embrace the suck) and it produced results right away. Maybe there is really something in keeping it simple. Next checkpoint is 55 days.
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Congratulations on 50 days, Escape! Awesome stuff!

“...running through urges military style”, haha, that’s classic!

Let me know any questions you have on the way I do it, using mindfulness, or other techniques, and I’ll answer best I can.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Hello guys does mindfulness could help you with preventing to M? I realized that when I hit the 60 day streak without PMO, I had my libido up and this girl made a sexy video call and although I did not finish. This made go from the to porn cause I could not stop about realieasing all the sexual energy built up. Just wondering could I prevent that ( I know that I could have stopped the video call but I want to know once you start how I can stop) and think this also will apply for O’ing since I have never been able to have sex without O’ing.please help
 
Hello guys does mindfulness could help you with preventing to M? I realized that when I hit the 60 day streak without PMO, I had my libido up and this girl made a sexy video call and although I did not finish. This made go from the to porn cause I could not stop about realieasing all the sexual energy built up. Just wondering could I prevent that ( I know that I could have stopped the video call but I want to know once you start how I can stop) and think this also will apply for O’ing since I have never been able to have sex without O’ing.please help
Understanding how this addiction works is very important. Porn is a "button" we push to have a dopamine release. This dopamine release is what we love so much. It feels too great. Without this dopamine release, porn would not be interesting at all.

Now, what is "porn"? Porn is not as easy as in, let's say, alcohol. At first it looks like porn is the hardcore porn videos we watch. But with further inspection, we realize porn is more than that. It's a world. Porn means: Hardcore videos (of course), softcore porn, social media pictures, masturbating thinking about porn, having sex thinking about porn, thinking about porn deliberately without stopping etc. Maybe others too. Now the solution, at the core, becomes clear: We must not push this "button" (porn world) in order to avoid the dopamine release. Any time you get the "porn dopamine" going, it gets harder to resist because once this dopamine gets wild, the craving can get unbearable. It's easier to do it if you keep this dopamine at minimum, once you get it started "deliberately", the more time you spend keeping this dopamine elevated, the harder it gets. Why? Because as addicts, we ended up getting our dopamine to very high levels. We ended up binging, we ended up watching stuff that stimulated our brain like nothing else, we ended up, through our porn world, experimenting dopamine levels that sex and masturbation without porn will never ever be able to come close to. The brain wants this level of dopamine, once you give it less, it wants more, until it gets to the levels that it wants (and even then it's not enough, "I can't get no satisfaction" is what the brain would say). The conclusion is: We must make an effort to not get this porn dopamine wild. And another conclusion would be: It sucks really big time. It fuckin sucks.
 
Top