I need to up my game.

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Hello @Escapeandnevercomeback, I am happy to know you achieved 3 full weeks man! I believe you have found you main trigger, you have to continue fighting it. It seems PMO is a secondary problem associated to drinking. So you have to focus on the main problem and hopefully you will overcome both. I have faith that you will make it my friend. Don’t let your guard down with the triggers!. Keep it going!
Thanks, man! I would say porn is my number one problem and alcohol came as a consequence, because I was trying to medicate the problems created by porn (i.e high social anxiety).
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I'm sure it's only a matter of time before those answers come to you because you won't be running away from them with Alcohol or PMO. Patience & focus will keep you going in the right direction. Just keep at it.

Congratulations on the three weeks Escape! You're doing great!
Thanks, man, I appreciate it!
 

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
The urges frenzy from a few hours ago seems to have calmed down considerably.

That's the thing to always keep in mind is that these urges follow a bell curve pattern, where they will intensify for a moment, peak, and then invariably subside- they will always subside.

Why is this important? Because in the moment we think we're going to die, we think it's so freaking urgent. The survival part of the brain (beast-brain) is screaming like it's life or death, but it's not. We are not hurt by these urges, and once they subside, we see how temporary they are.

We can outlast any urge.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Why is this important? Because in the moment we think we're going to die, we think it's so freaking urgent. The survival part of the brain (beast-brain) is screaming like it's life or death, but it's not. We are not hurt by these urges, and once they subside, we see how temporary they are.
That's exactly what it is, man, in the moment it feels like it will never go away again. It's a violent urges attack that seems infinite. It can take a while sometimes to mostly leave me alone, avoiding to engage with the porn from my head helps a lot.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 22

I relapsed in a dream. I woke up and I spend like a minute being sure I had relapsed then I realized and said to myself: "Yo, man, it was a dream, you didn't do anything." The relief, man... The brain is desperate. It's trying in every way to make me give it porn dopamine but I've made it too far, I don't want to go back to almost a month ago when I was completely miserable with no mood to do anything at work. My drive to study has increased noticeably. I've been more involved in studying the things that I have to know at my job. My energy level has improved.
 
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GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
Day 22

I relapsed in a dream. I woke up and I spend like a minute being sure I had relapsed then I realized and said to myself: "Yo, man, it was a dream, you didn't do anything." The relief, man... The brain is desperate. It's trying in every way to make me give it porn dopamine but I've made it too far, I don't want to go back to almost a month ago when I was completely miserable with no mood to do anything at work. My drive to study has increased noticeably. I've been more involved in studying the things that I have to know at my job. My energy level has improved.
That’s hilarious @Escapeandnevercomeback .
I am glad it was a dream not reality !

But surely watch your mind as in the past I went clean for about 8 days cold turkey once and a 9th night dream and then BANG relapsed on 10th day .
So yeah be watchful of your mind’s weird tantrums !
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
That’s hilarious @Escapeandnevercomeback .
I am glad it was a dream not reality !

But surely watch your mind as in the past I went clean for about 8 days cold turkey once and a 9th night dream and then BANG relapsed on 10th day .
So yeah be watchful of your mind’s weird tantrums !
Porn dreams are not a rarity for me. What usually happens is that I wake up right after them (hence why I remember them, I guess) with massive urges. This time I didn't, though. It is what it is, we can't control the dreams but we can control what we do when we are awake. Thanks for advice.
 

Robby82

Member
Great @Escapeandnevercomeback you see that you are healing slowly but the progress is already evident the sick part of your brain is giving out so the reboot is not easy there are always difficult moments but now you are facing them head on I am at 76 day without PMO i only had some weakness with edging and with escorts 2 or 3 times but i am also eliminating the ones ahead like this bro
 

logicprox

Well-Known Member
Day 22

I relapsed in a dream. I woke up and I spend like a minute being sure I had relapsed then I realized and said to myself: "Yo, man, it was a dream, you didn't do anything." The relief, man... The brain is desperate. It's trying in every way to make me give it porn dopamine but I've made it too far, I don't want to go back to almost a month ago when I was completely miserable with no mood to do anything at work. My drive to study has increased noticeably. I've been more involved in studying the things that I have to know at my job. My energy level has improved.
I hate dream relapses so damn much. Had one a few days back and that had me panicking. So stressful lol. But also feels so good when you realize it wasn't real.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Great @Escapeandnevercomeback you see that you are healing slowly but the progress is already evident the sick part of your brain is giving out so the reboot is not easy there are always difficult moments but now you are facing them head on I am at 76 day without PMO i only had some weakness with edging and with escorts 2 or 3 times but i am also eliminating the ones ahead like this bro
Good plan, man. Eliminate everything that could sabotage you.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I hate dream relapses so damn much. Had one a few days back and that had me panicking. So stressful lol. But also feels so good when you realize it wasn't real.
Those dreams can make me wake up to massive urges, bro. I remember one incident in the past. I had been thinking all day about one particular softcore porn scene (notice the lack of avoiding to engage with the porn thoughts, which is crucial), I was so desperate to watch that scene but I pushed myself to the limits and I made it to bed without doing anything. Then the scene showed up in my dreams! I woke up right away and I had massive urges, man, I mean really big! I almost started edging to the memories of that scene, I was this close! So I know how you feel about the porn dreams, man, I hate them too.
 

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
I relapsed in a dream. I woke up and I spend like a minute being sure I had relapsed then I realized and said to myself: "Yo, man, it was a dream, you didn't do anything." The relief, man... The brain is desperate.

I know how that goes, and I have repetitive dreams with very similar themes: home alone (always someone else's house), and I have access to a drawer full of porn mags, or access to endless videos, etc....

I know how it is to wake up, and to feel so relieved it was just a dream. That's when you know progess is being made. Also, when you start resisting even in the dream, you know progress is being made.

Some dreams can have strong cue (trigger) to them, but mostly, they're just dreams we can easily ignore- as this will be the case for you soon.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I know how that goes, and I have repetitive dreams with very similar themes: home alone (always someone else's house), and I have access to a drawer full of porn mags, or access to endless videos, etc....

I know how it is to wake up, and to feel so relieved it was just a dream. That's when you know progess is being made. Also, when you start resisting even in the dream, you know progress is being made.

Some dreams can have strong cue (trigger) to them, but mostly, they're just dreams we can easily ignore- as this will be the case for you soon.
Sounds good, man. I'm waiting for those dreams where I resist. Right now I participate in porn behavior in the dreams.
 

Robby82

Member
Good plan, man. Eliminate everything that could sabotage you.
Yes man i will do that I have noticed important progress when I approach women before I was more fearful and many times I did not try for this now my brain is cleaner and I have more motivaton besides I am better with myself and I am able to have better social relationships you will see that it will happen to you too
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Yes man i will do that I have noticed important progress when I approach women before I was more fearful and many times I did not try for this now my brain is cleaner and I have more motivaton besides I am better with myself and I am able to have better social relationships you will see that it will happen to you too
👍
 
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