Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
I didn't want to return here and write this. I relapsed twice today. I didn't want to have here only those type of posts. There is nothing new with my recovery, there is no more progress, I keep relapsing under 10 days as usual, I don't even know what I want anymore. I wanted to come here with a different streak and different mindset. But I've failed.
My erratic behavior brought by drinking is already making me look ridiculous. I decided to take a break from coming here because I was embarrassed. I got drunk, I binged porn and then I came here and deleted all my posts from the other journal. I'm a fuckin clown. I can't stop jerking off and I can't stop drinking. It's all my fault that this year is beginning to look like last year. I keep waiting for someone to save me, I keep waiting for people to help me but I don't learn to help myself.
My erratic behavior brought by drinking is already making me look ridiculous. I decided to take a break from coming here because I was embarrassed. I got drunk, I binged porn and then I came here and deleted all my posts from the other journal. I'm a fuckin clown. I can't stop jerking off and I can't stop drinking. It's all my fault that this year is beginning to look like last year. I keep waiting for someone to save me, I keep waiting for people to help me but I don't learn to help myself.