To relapse is the saddest thing that can happen to me!Alas

Hi all members, I just signed up after my second streak in progress today is day 62 stop PMO (only sex with my wife) since January 2020 when I completed a 90 day streak. Then relapses but not as violent as before. My problem is the DOPAMINERGIC CRAVING which causes me arthritic pains all over my body. Does it happen to you too? Thank!
 
Day 11( in progress)
I am numb these days,feeling totally emaciated.Clarity is just on it's way.At the moment nothing seems to console me.I am in need of Help.Having wasted 11+ years in this addiction,I can't be taking it beyond 22y2m.I Have to strangulate this habit at this point in my life once for all.If I happend to continue with it I will be as stagnant in future as I have felt till now.I have to return to myself.I have to bid goodbye to this agonious phase of my life.I have my life but to be regained!
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Take a frozen bath! Come on brother, I pray for you ...
 
It was 30th relapse in between 250 days of journey . Right now I'm feeling totally enervated and drained. I wasted my clarity,Focus,a day and many more.All I want is to heal me.I don't have any concern with anything but Sobriety and clean from PMO....
After every relapse living life is so scary and frustrating that I prefer to be confined to nothingness.:mad:😂😂:mad:

Day 0 and hence totally wasted day for myself.
Brother, I'm close to you. I, in 552 days I have done worse than you, totaling a streak of 90 days, dozens of relapses and now I am at 63 ° but it is always the 0 ° day, now I am finally aware of it. He will pray for you. Thanks for your valuable experience.
 
Day 19(In progress)
i am all time unproductive,but guys it's worth it.It is Ok to be unproductive if you get to free yourself . I want to say that PMO is not natural,it is an illusion.One can live without it easily.This is not necessary to quenched.Various good things are there if there is no PMO.Hope I stick to it.Very close to 3rd week completion.
Thank you all.
 
DAY 1...(23 july)
18 Days was the last!can't be taking my freedom for granted.I will have to fight for my emancipation.
 
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DAY 1...(23 july)
18 Days was the last!can't be taking my freedom for granted.I will have to fight for my emancipation.
This is true. We don't escape porn addiction easily. If this was easy, we wouldn't actually be addicts. We have to be consistent and determined. Mistakes can (and will) happen but we need to practice mistakes management. Namely, making an effort not to relapse in the same way (this has proven important to me so far). But the real test comes when urges hit hard. Urges management is maybe no. 1 thing.
 
Day 1
felt alienated.
Procrastinated.
Was weary.
Fantasies.

Is this the way I am going to live...It is certainly not desired.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Hello @RevenueChamp I am glad that you are working hard even though you had some falls. I have read some books about it and they say it is not a great idea to start from zero because this can demotivate you so instead of going back to zero. Count how many time you have relapsed in a week or month. Many people (me included) tends to go back to PMO since we have lost our records and we starting from zero. It happened to me I would think, of fuck it I will start tomorrow since I am starting from zero. It depends on you how you want track your progress and I thought This ideas about counting relapses by a certain period of time is interesting. Like this on theis month I relapsed 2 days, next month my goal will be only 1, and you have been at least 58 days in PMO. Much love hope this helps. Keep it strong!
Day 1
felt alienated.
Procrastinated.
Was weary.
Fantasies.

Is this the way I am going to live...It is certainly not desired.
 
Day 2 (34 relapses in between 286 days)
I am not going to give up.It is all this that I dont want it.I cant enervate my self to an emaciated being.I am happy without binge.
 
Day 2
Still languishing at day 2,
I'm a massive failure...
My studies get directly affected by this shit.I feel I am the bigger shit than this...I dont want anything but Cleanliness from PMO.It has harmed me in the past and it still affects me,my working,almost everything.For me it is a sort of connivance.I dont really want to do it,I keep on hating it all the time but still I do this Despicable thing.
Please suggest me some ways out....
 
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