Desire to Be More Productive With My Time! Day 1

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JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Hi! I'm a 16-year old male who first encountered porn 3 years ago (when I was 13). It started out rather mildly, with me fantasizing about other girls in my school, but eventually transferred to the computer screen :(, and eventually became PMO. Most of my porn-viewing has been centered around Youtube, doing you-know-what kind of stuff... and I badly want to stop because it is not only giving me ED, but also consumes much of my time when I could otherwise be more productive in other more nobler pursuits. Hence, I'm so glad to have found this wonderful resource where I can start a journal and also share my progress with a big community of people all of whom are dedicated to the same goal of quitting porn for good. I just had a relapse about an hour ago, so this is me starting Day 1 of my Reboot journey! Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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J

JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Day 1 was completed without too much hassle. A couple times near the end of the day, I did have some slight urges picking up, but I was quickly able to ignore them. I think one little tip that might help anyone in their reboot journey is to just be more aware of where your hands are at all times. Seriously, I've just realized how often my hands inadvertently wander to my private area and start "jostling it", and by the time I would normally notice, a full-fledged boner had already come and that's when I would get horny. Anyways, drinking lots of water, running a bit, and doing meditation, hopefully I can reach the land of freedom!!!

By the way, so that I have some more structure to my reboot, I think I will post my progress daily for one week (i.e. make 7 daily posts), then I will make a post every two days 6 times, then every four days 5 times, then every eight days 4 times, and so forth. Eventually, my last post will be after a 64 day (i.e. more than two-month gap), and the total journey will have stretched 247 days (about 8 months) after which I hope I will have rebooted sufficiently long so as to be able to fly away!!! In the event of a relapse, I won't even talk about what to do, since I am so confident I won't have one!!! Wish me luck!!!
 
J

JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Day 2 just completed! The whole day was just wonderful for me! Almost no urges at all! That's how good I felt! Another good sign for me was that today I had my first morning wood in a long time. Ran around the block 3 times, and am now about to meditate! Cheers!
 
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JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Day 3 completed! Like Day 2, it was exceptional! Basically had no feelings for p*** the entire day. My studies have improved in their productivity, my tennis skills have gotten better (yeah I play tennis), and my mind just feels a whole f***** lot purer and at ease. I know of course that a reboot should come not only with abstinence but also with rewiring, connecting with real people, and that is something which I am still not quite an expert on. I think when school starts again in two months (right now is summer break), I will try and find a girlfriend, but in the meantime I shall simply do my best to stay aware of myself and of my sexual urges. Onward!
 
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JacobiThetaFunction

Member
@Ajinkya thank you so much for your motivating words! It really means a lot to me! And yes, I shall heed you advice and refuse to drop my guard!!! If you are currently involved in your own struggle with the enemy, I urge you also to stay strong, and keep fighting!!!
- Jacob :)
 
J

JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Day 4 completed! Like the previous days, it was basically flawless. However, as I'm writing this, there's a slightly stronger urge than usual which is building up in my brain, but I am not too concerned since it is not overpowering and I am confident I will be able to resist it. Stay Strong! Stay Vigilant! Fight Hard!
 
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JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Day 5 completed! This is a significant achievement compared to the previous few days because, gosh, I can't tell you how tempted I was at some points during the day to relapse, but by some miracle I made it through the day successfully and had a very good and relaxing sleep and now here I am today typing this. I had a much stronger morning wood as well, which I think is my reward for having successfully resisted the enemy yesterday.

And thanks also Ajinkya for your constant output of positivity and motivation! I probably would have relapsed by now were it not for your warming presence and benevolence in taking time out of your day to read a random, screwed up teenager's journal about trying to quit p*** for good. Thank you :)
 
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AJM

Active Member
Hey Jacob ,
I am so happy for you brother and impressed with the clarity and maturity you have as a 16yr old.
Day 5 - with strong temptations, which you dealt successfully- its a milestone.
Keep it up.
Thanks for your kind words,
Much love, stay vigilant.
 
J

JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Day 6 completed! It was, I have to say, relatively easier than yesterday (not as many urges but still a little bit harder than the first 4 days of the reboot). Had a harder morning wood today, which may be a good sign of progress (although it's still kind of early to say for sure if it's progress or just random).
Yesterday, I was playing tennis when these two really pretty girls showed up out of nowhere, and once I noticed them my tennis started becoming really bad because I was very nervous in their presence. I barely even dared to look at them (is that a good thing or a bad thing? I think it's a bad thing, but at the same time I think if I had looked too much at them I might have been tempted to relapse later? Either way, I think their presence was God or whoever's way of rewarding me for having stayed away from p*** for 5 full days. Hopefully one day I can have a beautiful girl like that in bed with me, a real person, instead of a bunch of pixels on a computer screen ;)).
 
J

JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Day 7 completed! This is officially 1 week of PMO-free, MO-free, in fact M-free. I'm starting to feel a bit of flatline in the sense that my libido isn't as strong and overall I'm just a bit more tired than usual, but I think I should interpret those as signs of progress. Had a harder morning wood today also. Onward with the reboot! (as stated at the start of my journal, I will now be posting only once every two days, 6 times).
 
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JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Day 9 completed! Went extremely well these past 2 days, sometimes I'm just sitting there wondering how the heck I've made it this far already (prior to starting this reboot, I basically did PMO on a daily basis :(). I really feel much more confident, much more clear-minded, and much more productive with my studies than at the start; it's called progress! Nevertheless, as Fappy has said, I should still stay highly vigilant and not let my guard drop suddenly because I know how the enemy can quickly take advantage of that 💪

Sincerely, Jacob
 
J

JacobiThetaFunction

Member
Day 11 completed! Two days ago I got my second Covid shot (Pfizer), and had a really bad headache yesterday. I was lying in bed trying to sleep, but because I couldn't, I allowed myself to think about past sensual things I've watched in order to help myself fall asleep faster (it didn't really work anyways). I feel much better physically today, however, but I think my urges are also coming back a bit stronger than usual. I need to really stay vigilant and un-f*** my life, quite p*** now, today! (as Fappy's thing says).
 
J

JacobiThetaFunction

Member
😭😭😭 I've just relapsed, two minutes ago (PMO). Yeah...I'm f****** mad at myself 😡😡😡. The trigger here was probably to do with yesterday's Covid shot complications, and how I fantasized out of sheer desperation... but I'm not giving up!!! I'm not giving up!!! I'm not giving up!!! This time, when I PMO-ed, I noticed that the orgasm came much faster than usual, and I take this as a sign that those 11 days did in fact have a genuine effect, and that progress was in fact accumulating, and would have accumulated even more so had I not relapsed today. The days following a relapse are probably easy to get by, since one is motivated by recent events in one's past to be better. But the difficulty comes once one is 3 or 4 days out, and then the urges start creeping back in. I need all the support I can get from this forum to continue to stay strong and be the best self that I can be 💪💪💪
 
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AJM

Active Member
Hey Jacob,
Relapses make you stronger if you learn from it & restart.
Hope you take out time to reflect WHY you want to reboot at first place, and lessons learnt from this relapse.
You will surely tide over this phase.
all the very best.
 
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