Desire to Be More Productive With My Time! Day 1

Day 1 Completed! As AJM has recommended, I will engage in some important reflection (it's easy once you get out far enough to lose track of why you even started this whole journey):
Why Did I Start This Reboot? Three Main Reasons:
- To get rid of my PIED (so that in the future, I can have happier sex ;))
- So that I can actually make solid eye contact with people (especially girls), and therefore be less introverted and more confident
- Be able to focus and concentrate on my studies for longer periods of time (without thinking about PMO), and therefore be more productive

Lessons Learnt From Relapse:
- In circumstances where my dopamine levels are low (this could be after a long day of work, the day after being sick, etc.), I need to find alternative ways of improving dopamine production (the most accessible ways for me to do this would be to either spend 5-10 minutes meditating, or finding something to eat, such as a granola bar, and perhaps also take a good long drink of water and maybe walking around a bit).
- The Rebooting Process actually works. More specifically, it actually helps with my three main reasons mentioned earlier: in those 11 days of freedom that I had, I am confidently able to assert that my semen leakages completely stopped, that I had much less awkward and much more natural and sensible conversations with real people (especially girls) in public, and that my focus on my studies was utterly laser-sharp and my volume of output increased.
- Another thing I'm considering: since there are 23 pages-worth of success stories, I think if I read just one success story every day, and maybe comment on it, then it will help me to stay motivated on my own reboot. Even though other users may have different reasons for quitting p***, I believe we all share a common goal to just be a better, healthier, and nobler version of ourselves than we currently are.
Sincerely, Jacob


Active Member
Even though other users may have different reasons for quitting p***, I believe we all share a common goal to just be a better, healthier, and nobler version of ourselves than we currently are.
Wow, ture.
I strongly believe rebooting is much more than just quitting porn.
And allow me to tell you as a 16 yr old you have great insight into things, very proud of you.
Much love.
Day 3 completed! Yesterday while I was playing tennis on a tennis court near a pool, I happened to set eyes on one of the female lifeguards there which really started giving me sharp urges, but I overcame them (which was not easy). As I predicted 3 days ago when I relapsed, it's going get easier to succumb to urges now which means I have to be on extra alert, and constantly remind myself of the many treasures (such as no more PIED, better focus, more confidence) that are waiting patiently for me at the top of the "reboot mountain" that I'm climbing. I hope I can maintain my sanity 💪 💪 💪
Sincerely, Jacob
I relapsed again... Why? I thought I was prepared. Apparently even if you think you're ready for the enemy, it turns out you might not be. I had spent all morning working on a math problem without getting anywhere, and I think this lack of progress is why my dopamine levels dropped dangerously low, and as a result I was tempted to go to my most reliable source of dopamine: PMO. Why didn't I take my own advice from 3 days ago when I was in this same boat???

"In circumstances where my dopamine levels are low (this could be after a long day of work, the day after being sick, etc.), I need to find alternative ways of improving dopamine production (the most accessible ways for me to do this would be to either spend 5-10 minutes meditating, or finding something to eat, such as a granola bar, and perhaps also take a good long drink of water and maybe walking around a bit)"

I just sat there glued to my seat, every nerve in my body wanting to get a glimpse of some p***. Where did my willpower to fight and resist go? Why wasn't it there when I needed it?


I think the key lesson to take away from this relapse is that I need to take breaks (i.e. do those things like eat a granola bar, meditate, etc.) when studying, especially if the studying has not been particularly good on a given day (which is perfectly normal). I feel that when I've made a lot of progress with my studies, my dopamine is higher so the likelihood of me seeking out p*** is lower, but on days which are unproductive, I have to take plenty of breaks to replenish dopamine levels so that I can remain sufficiently immune to the toxic urges of p***.
I can't believe I relapsed again just now...two relapses in one day. I think I have had a very disorganized and bad day overall. Hopefully I can figure out some plan quickly in order to avoid future clusters of relapses like this again. More tomorrow.
So, for now my plan is going to be as follows:
- Try the Pomodoro Technique for studying:
- Always have a glass full of water next to me
- Always have several granola bars at my side as well
- Never go to Youtube for anything, not even listening to music, etc. (I have an old mp3 player which can play high-quality music and which doesn't have any functionality other than to play music)
During Pomodoro Breaks
- Only allow myself to check on the computer during the break periods of the Pomodoro technique.
- During break periods, I will engage in meditation, and maybe trying meditating in front of a mirror as well in order to look myself in the eye.
- Walk around during breaks. Stretch. Look outside. Go to the bathroom if need be.
Day 1 completed! It went just awesome! The Pomodoro seems to really be working for me. I work for 25 minutes, and then I get to take a 5 minute break which is seriously helpful in combatting p*** because I can use that time to replenish my dopamine levels with a snack or by lifting some weights and this is the most important antidote to p*** (it's similar to getting vaccinated against a disease...except that you have to constantly get the vaccine or you will get infected again).
Huh...I relapsed again just now. I think the overall source of all this is that I am too disorganized when using the computer, and that can upset me and cause me to be tempted. Let me make my vow here and now:

There will be no more relapses from here on out. None.

To give myself a more concrete goal, I want to be able to make it to 2 weeks without PMO. 14 days. Today is July 24, 2021. My target is to be able to declare on August 7, 2021 that I have successfully abstained from all PMO. Let's get the ball rolling!!!
Day 1 completed! Went very well yesterday. I think I have a new kind of momentum going and feel really, really good about my prospects for some reason. I believe in myself! I feel omnipotent! I can do this!
Day 2 completed! Went very well with Pomodoro. I am sticking by two guiding principles that seem to be working very well together:
1. Monitor your dopamine levels
2. Don't jostle your d***
When I feel that my dopamine levels are rather low, then I know I am at risk for giving in to PMO, so I will find other things to do like exercise and eat in order to improve those dopamine levels. This is probably the best defense against PMO. Also, I remind myself not to jostle my d*** randomly because that also makes me tempted. If I get an erection randomly while working, I also have to remind myself not to "spur it on" by jostling it, since I have realized that that is a huge trigger for PMO for me at least. Instead, the only solution is to just wait it out rather than fanning the embers. Staying strong! Shooting for that 2-weeks goal!!!
Day 3 completed! It went very well! Pomodoro is helping me know when I should take breaks which helps me renew dopamine levels and therefore stay away from the p*** abyss. I was reading another user "AStansfield" 's journal and I saw how a sudden drop in mood due to whatever reason can be a major source of relapses. I wonder whether I would be able to deal with some catastrophic and depressing event...I think if something did happen, I would just stay away from the computer and do things which don't require a computer until I felt a dwindling of whatever chaser effect might ensue (this waiting could last a week maybe?)
Anyways, keep trucking guys (as Gabe says) :>
An excellent article I found on the YBOP website:
To summarize it, there are 3 very common and fatal mistakes that rebooters make, which I can relate to so well:
1. Using Porn to stop feeling bad.
2. Being hard on yourself every time you relapse.
3. Focusing too much on not watching porn.
Let us all stay aware of these mistakes, and continue to educate ourselves on p*** use.


Hey Jacob, went through your journal and story.
It’s really important that you have discovered the reality of P’s harms so young. It is a great opportunity to get off P now and, and protect your 20s from a hurricane of problems..
I would like to highlight the “math problem going nowhere” relapse. I too found that especially activities that would put me in mental dead ends would cause a sudden drop in dopamine and my mind would immediately try to balance things out with PMO. Not particularly when it was a difficult activity, which I knew what to do, but the stuff in which I found myself at a loss for ideas.
My advice would be to pre-assess, identify such activities and put them in some kind of “high risk zone”. Then find a workaround, e.g., only work on mind-taxing tasks when others are about, in populated rooms, or in public spaces, so that the environment is a barrier to anything P-related.
Hope this helps, stay vigilant!
Day 4 completed! I had a couple periods of boredom during the day while I was studying, and of course you can guess that the boredom could have been a trigger for PMO, but I managed to starve off these urges through exercise. I had no MW today, but I do feel like I'm regaining the flatline I had in my earlier 11-day streak. I also had a pretty sexual dream last night, which has rumpled me up a bit, but it was not "overpowering" or anything and I am quite confident that I will get through today without any issues.

Also, thanks @PeteSL for your well-meaning advice, although in these past few days I've found that it is definitely possible to "safely" engage in mind-taxing tasks such as studying (even when I'm at a loss of ideas) without constant supervision as long as one takes plenty of breaks to replenish dopamine levels (in my case, I have found that working intensely for 25 minutes followed by 3-minute breaks works wonderfully well; specifically, during the breaks I literally just grab a reasonably heavy object such as a medicine ball, and do 15 or so squats holding the ball at my chest. It's crazy how just doing a couple squats can get one's heart rate going and improve one's dopamine levels so quickly. I also try to do some "willpower training" during these breaks, for instance I might finish my 15 squats and then I will just casually command myself "Do another 5 squats", and I will instantly obey this command and do another 5 despite how exhausted I already am from doing 15 squats, and then once I do those 5, I might randomly command myself to do another 10 squats, and I will put myself through that painfulness of doing another 10 despite the 20 I've already done, etc. all of this being to improve my willpower so that when PMO urges come and I tell myself "Ignore those urges", or if I feel myself starting to fantasize and I tell myself "Stop fantasizing", I will have the willpower to actually carry through with these commands. So far, I think this has been working very well for me personally, although I can't claim that it would work for everyone).
Day 5 completed! Near the end of the day, the urges were really getting to me, probably just because "it's near the end of the day" and I was tired. But I managed to stay on my guard and not let them get the better of me. Staying strong, staying vigilant!

Day 6 completed! Had some urges as usual, but did not let them get to me. Today me and my family are going on a 1-night stay at Niagara Falls, and I'm not bringing my computer, so that effectively guarantees I'm going to make it to 7 days, hence reclaim that previous "1-week" milestone I had earlier! One thing I've recognized is that edging doesn't just come with browsing suggestive pictures or using P-subs rather than watching actual p***, but can come in the subtlest forms. For me, I find that even seemingly simple acts like checking Discord or G-mail too much, or checking this forum too much, or just going onto Youtube and watching the highlights of a tennis match can count as forms of edging because it signals that one's brain is low on dopamine and is therefore desperately trying to find some activity which would improve those dopamine levels. Eventually, after doing all those things, it would realize that it's not deriving enough dopamine, and so ultimately you can guess where it leads. In all of this, Pomodoro has been an invaluable tool in helping me stay focused and just forget about p***, disregarding it as an option in my life. To everyone out there, STAY STRONG!!!
Love, Jacob
Day 7 completed, as expected! However, I should have anticipated that going anywhere where a lot of tourists congregate is bound to be a place where sexual triggers lurk. As we neared the hotel, there were just billboards everywhere with provocative advertisements and also lots of people were rather scantily clad (I don't blame or despise them for it, after all it's summer for me and that's just the societally accepted manner of dressing in such weather, but I'm just saying, it makes the reboot just a tiny bit less convenient for me 😅). Anyways, the trip itself and all that went very finely, and we had lots of fun. However, during my sleep last night, I had very sexual dreams, not sure why. I hope they aren't an omen of another relapse... On the 2-hour car ride home, I also kept having really strong urges and flashbacks, and I was just desperately looking out the window at the passengers of other vehicles, wanting to see an attractive girl, and when I did see one, I would get a really strong erection that would last for maybe 2-3 minutes. I'm feeling more stable now, but I know I need to be very mindful and vigilant, and remind myself that p*** is a ancient relic of my past, not for me anymore. I think the only long-term solution to this is to actually get a gf, which I will definitely be shooting for in 1 month when school starts again. Anyways, that's all for today, and since this marks the 1-week threshold, I'm going to adhere to the initial plan I made earlier and post every other day now. Also, I'm halfway to my 2-week goal, so let's go!!!!!!
Day 8 completed (although there were some close calls)! I shouldn't be writing here today, but I had to because I've been having a very strong chaser effect all throughout this morning. I'm going to copy and paste here a passage from YBOP which I found to be highly enlightening:


The Foundation of a Proper Reboot

Porn addiction is not the cause of your shitty life.

Read that again.

Of course, it’s difficult to improve your life when you’re having intense porn sessions every single day that drain your energy and make you a zombie. But porn is not the reason your life sucks.

Please, this is very important to understand, you have to stop blaming porn for your problems.

This mentality of “life awaits me after recovery” is destructive.

Porn is not the reason you’re a procrastinator. Porn is not the reason you’re depressed. Porn is not the reason you’re lonely. Porn is not the reason you haven’t been able to lose weight or gain muscle.

Porn is the symptom.

You watch porn to escape reality. You watch porn to manage your emotions. You watch porn because you’re bored, lonely, stressed, depressed, angry, isolated. You watch porn to feel good for a moment, to replace uncomfortable emotions and situations in your life.

Here’s how you get rid of this addiction:

You don’t focus on quitting porn so you can finally get to live life after you’re recovered.

You focus on learning how to live, how to manage your emotions, how to change the way you think and view the world.

You put all your energy into building the life you want.

This will naturally lead your mind away from porn.

Success is not measured by how many clean days you’ve managed.

It’s measured by how much your life has improved since you started rebooting.


I think this definitely puts a new perspective on my struggles. Abstinence is a short-term solution, but if I really want to come out on top of this "once and for all" as they say, I need to concentrate my efforts on pursuing my dreams (right now I aspire to become a scientist of some sort, or possibly a mathematician), being less of a social introvert, being more mature at dealing with the ups and downs (but especially the downs) of life, etc.

Put concisely, I have to just stop thinking about porn. Forget about it. Focus on what matters.