To much, For to little, For to long.

Kelvis

Member
I've been a porn addict for 54 years. This is the first time I have reached out, thought I would out grow compulsion. Been reading a lot of stories of your afflictions about the love of lust. Thankful that I'm not alone anymore thinking I am the worst of the worst, this mire of desire has taken all my contentment that I ever earned and left me numb without the ability to love myself. I've searched to find normal, decided since there was none no way I could stop or even wanted to because I knew I wouldn't, I was possessed by pleasure so I never had hope to quit, I was immersed. I'm glad I have found that somebody else knows this proclivity and its insidious madness.
 

CoolBreeze

Active Member
I've been a porn addict for 54 years. This is the first time I have reached out, thought I would out grow compulsion. Been reading a lot of stories of your afflictions about the love of lust. Thankful that I'm not alone anymore thinking I am the worst of the worst, this mire of desire has taken all my contentment that I ever earned and left me numb without the ability to love myself. I've searched to find normal, decided since there was none no way I could stop or even wanted to because I knew I wouldn't, I was possessed by pleasure so I never had hope to quit, I was immersed. I'm glad I have found that somebody else knows this proclivity and its insidious madness.
Welcome Kelvis
Hang in there. There is a lot of support here. Peace and Strength to you
 

guitar1968

Active Member
Hi Kelvis, it is a a mighty struggle and you are definitely not alone! Come here as often as you can especially when you start to feel like you need to open a private browser of porn. That's what I do. I'm 85 days in and I have a long way to go. I've been struggling lately, but I'm hanging in there. You can do this!
 

Nick Simons

Active Member
Hey Kelvis welcome and know that you are among friends (brothers in arms) here in this place. Leave all shame at the door and I hope today marks the day that you truly begin your journey to a porn free life. Stay strong.
 

Kelvis

Member
A positive thing is that being in the PMO club for a lifetime I don't have the compulsions as frequently as when I was younger, (sometimes 8 times a day on speed) however when the animal strikes I better have a list of activities (through journaling my daily emotions< thoughts) for I am drowning in a passion of perplexity and sensual fire that is all consuming and where went will power and freedom of choice. A persons heart can only take so much and time is heartless, we're going to stop one way or another.
 

JerryTX

Active Member
Welcome Kelvis and no you are not alone. This is a good place with lot's of good thoughts and ideas about this journey. I am at 93 days today and like you thought I would never break this cycle, yet here I am! This will be and likely will always be a struggle but what I have found during this journey is it does get better. BUT even today I had to fight a temptation on IG to move away from content I knew was taking me in a wrong direction. Stay strong and GOD BLESS YOU!
 

Fappy

Respected Member
never to late to sort yourself out. any other symptoms of PMO addiction youre having? floppy cock, anxiety, lethargy, irritablility.etc they come in all shapes and sizes.
A persons heart can only take so much and time is heartless,
yeah... dont really know what that means, but keep it up!
 

Kelvis

Member
It seem that a lot of people use a Higher Power which I'll call Divine Consciousness, I got possessed by the appealing feeling and went on a binger. Today. Most possibly for the next 2-3 weeks I can get the thoughts, feelings and emotions out of my life and not really think about them but when they come in swinging I have been getting KO. Probably the first thing to do is get rid of the the girls I lust, I love the sluts on the sites beyond time


to rescue myself form myself. Got an old girlfriend threating to sue me wants my 2 pickups, RV ,$12000.00 , I think to myself I'm a senior citizen I think what's stupid worth, I don't think as well, don't want to be around others, free classes that I'm taking at the college I'm just going through the motions, checking out my next fantasy girl ,annoyed ,anxious, OCD and the symptoms that other compulsive sex mongers endure. I guess the main topic is to be successful with what life is left could be in a recession soon but Lets not get going in that direction, I can say there isn't much time to say lets party, time to get numb any longer. I would just as soon get my paralegal skills together so I can keep my belongings and be somewhat coherent, consciously aware and finally feel good about myself as Soul for I have seldom have I ever. Hard habits to break, lifetime of being in the band yet not being able to keep the rhythm being out of sync. Time to start applying the suggestions that everyone promotes ,journaling, execersis. etc. The past is gone the future hasn't happened yet so i's time to keep busy productively procrastination is a attachment. I will go forward.
 
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