Not sure where to start...

Hi everyone,

Not really sure where to begin - except I want this addiction to end. First time reaching out and recognizing that this is a real issue in my life. I stumbled across porn at the ripe old age of 8 and can never remember a time in my life I haven't depended on it for one reason or another. It worsens my anxiety issues, majorly impacts my marriage and no doubt impacts my potential as a father and being a good person in every aspect of life.
I have decided to start with 3 days porn free. Then shoot for 3 weeks. Then hopefully 3 months. I recognize the triggers and plan to replace this habit with a combination of meditation, getting in the water (live by the ocean and enjoy swimming and diving), exercise and help/advice from anyone in this forum.
Any advice, criticism or support is very welcome. Open to accountability partner and/or anything else it takes to get my life back on track so feel free to reach out.

Cheers...
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Hi, journeytopeace.

Welcome. I'll just share what is making the biggest difference for me.

What is making a world of difference to me is radical self-acceptance. I tried to run away, to deny P thoughts and emotions. It got me absolutely no where. In accepting P as valid expression of all-that-is and a valid part of me. This acceptance is allowing for shifts to happens, to transmute this addiction. In my experience. I cannot heal what I do not accept about myself. Also noticing in becoming more self-accepting I am finding it easier accept others and life circumstances.

All the best on your journey
EW
 
Hi, journeytopeace.

Welcome. I'll just share what is making the biggest difference for me.

What is making a world of difference to me is radical self-acceptance. I tried to run away, to deny P thoughts and emotions. It got me absolutely no where. In accepting P as valid expression of all-that-is and a valid part of me. This acceptance is allowing for shifts to happens, to transmute this addiction. In my experience. I cannot heal what I do not accept about myself. Also noticing in becoming more self-accepting I am finding it easier accept others and life circumstances.

All the best on your journey
EW
Thanks EW,

Through my journey thus far I have learnt I can not run, hide or fight this any longer. I am prepared to accept that I am an addict in relation to porn and this is who I am. It may take a bit more time to genuinely feel that way within myself but I feel I will get there very soon. It is a hard truth to face. I need to make peace with this and I guess learn how to be more forgiving to myself and accepting of my faults. My desire to work on my meditation and mindfulness I hope will play a big part in the mental battle of living with my addiction.

Thank you for your kind advice and well wishes.
 

yogi

Active Member
Welcome to the bro.
Journal regularly even if you feel you are fine and successfully rebooting.
See others' journals and offer encouragement and advice.

Pouring out your inner feelings on this forum will slowly but surely transform you in the same way it's been transforming me.
 
Welcome to the bro.
Journal regularly even if you feel you are fine and successfully rebooting.
See others' journals and offer encouragement and advice.

Pouring out your inner feelings on this forum will slowly but surely transform you in the same way it's been transforming me.
Thanks Yogi,
Sound advice. I have decided to put some time a side each day and make a point of reading and contributing positively to other journals.
It's a long road and I'm looking forward to seeing real change.
 
Had the house to myself today. Had some very strong urges and managed to overcome them by identifying triggers and using my management tools. Only day two but happy with myself for overcoming the urge. Went outside, sat in the sun and practiced deep breathing. I am currently in a cast after foot surgery and off work for a few weeks so long hard road ahead. Hope I can stay strong.
 

AJM

Active Member
Hey brother,
welcome to the forum.
Went through your posts and I feel you have a strong mindset (and a awesome signature)
Keep Journaling , Keep learning.
Take care and get well soon.
Much love
 
Hey brother,
welcome to the forum.
Went through your posts and I feel you have a strong mindset (and a awesome signature)
Keep Journaling , Keep learning.
Take care and get well soon.
Much love
Thank you kindly!
Most personal battles start and end in the mind. See how I'm going 3 weeks in :)
Cheers for the kind words.
 
On day 4. feeling good. Took the extra measure of replacing my smart phone with a 'dumb phone' yesterday. Most of my P consumption was through phone via apps. Also gives me more time to spend in other more meaningful areas of life instead of glaring at a screen.
 

ulaire14

Member
On day 4. feeling good. Took the extra measure of replacing my smart phone with a 'dumb phone' yesterday. Most of my P consumption was through phone via apps. Also gives me more time to spend in other more meaningful areas of life instead of glaring at a screen.
Congrats on day 4. You are not alone in that most of your P consumption was through the phone. This has been my biggest hinderance. If I did not need certain functions for work I would replace my phone as well. However, I think you may have inspired me to leave my phone with my wife when I am not working until I can really untrain my brain from the phone.
You are showing great insight and attitude at this early stage. Keep it up and keep updated.
 
Cheers man. I figured if I can remove the choice to consume from myself then I should have far more success. I will use my smart phone probably on weekends when I'm around the wife and kids. But while I'm on my own its the dumb phone. I also will leave my phone out in common areas when I go to bedroom or bathroom etc. Childish way to kick a habit I guess but I'm keen to do whatever works. Thanks again for your kind words.
 

yogi

Active Member
Keep up the good work.
Everyday completed without PMO is a small but vital step towards victory.
 
Day 9 now. Spent quality time with wife and kids. No strong desires to consume P as of yet. I find this surprising. Maybe I finally got myself to the point where my desire to kick the habit far exceeded the desire to use P. I realize it is still early days and I must not become complacent in my war against P. Feeling good about myself over all.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
Day 9 now. Spent quality time with wife and kids. No strong desires to consume P as of yet. I find this surprising. Maybe I finally got myself to the point where my desire to kick the habit far exceeded the desire to use P. I realize it is still early days and I must not become complacent in my war against P. Feeling good about myself over all.
excellent. you are dead right, its when you get complacent about your progress that it gets you. its a real sneaky little fucker and will trick you to slip up and give it that hit. dont get fooled!
 
Top