Hi everyone, I am glad I found a forum for people who's partners are addicts to porn. It has been really inspiring hearing all these stories and it feels less lonely knowing that there are others going through similar situations.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now and in December of 2020, he told me about his porn addiction. There were multiple lies that were thrown around as he felt shame and embarrassment from telling me. I gave him a very open-minded space to open up to me about it, but he still felt a lot of embarrassment. I did my best to understand him and did my research. I understood the addiction part, and as much as that hurt, the most hurtful things were all the lies he would tell me. It was lie after lie and that ruined the relationship and it ruined me. I felt so lost and confused. He managed to stop the porn watching for 4 months, until he broke up with me. Not even 12 hours after the breakup, he had fell into a relapse for about 5 days and stopped at the 6th because he wanted to get back together with me and didn't want to hurt me.
Recently, I caught him watching videos of half naked girls and he confessed that he had done it 3 times behind my back to other girls. It broke my heart because he had told me he stopped and he didn't want that anymore. Today, he told me that he thinks the addiction is coming back. He has been having a stressful week and it has been imbedded in his brain that the dopamine rush will help. I know this has nothing to do with me, but it really makes me feel like I'm never going to be enough for him. He said himself, that no matter what I do, or what I send him, he will always think of those girls when he needs that dopamine rush. I do understand this and how he feels. I know it must be so hard for him. He doesn't want to hurt me anymore and he is hesitant on if he even wants to be with me.
I told him that he really needs to get some help as he alone cannot help his addiction and he agreed. I really hope he does get help.
I just feel so lost and empty right now. I feel like my whole world is crashing down and things feel so heavy. I know I don't deserve to be treated like this, but whatever I do seems like a bad idea. I told him that it really hurts, and that I don't know how long I can take it, but he replied with he feels a lot of pressure from me. I just want things to be good. I want to know what to do because I feel so hurt and alone. It's a lot of pain that I am going through and it makes it worse that he is saying things like "I don't know if I want to still be with you." I've read a lot of comments from other rebooters and they all wanted to change for their partners and to get better themselves. What should I do? Is there anyone I can talk to? I feel very helpless and hurt... I don't know how to act to help my partner...
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now and in December of 2020, he told me about his porn addiction. There were multiple lies that were thrown around as he felt shame and embarrassment from telling me. I gave him a very open-minded space to open up to me about it, but he still felt a lot of embarrassment. I did my best to understand him and did my research. I understood the addiction part, and as much as that hurt, the most hurtful things were all the lies he would tell me. It was lie after lie and that ruined the relationship and it ruined me. I felt so lost and confused. He managed to stop the porn watching for 4 months, until he broke up with me. Not even 12 hours after the breakup, he had fell into a relapse for about 5 days and stopped at the 6th because he wanted to get back together with me and didn't want to hurt me.
Recently, I caught him watching videos of half naked girls and he confessed that he had done it 3 times behind my back to other girls. It broke my heart because he had told me he stopped and he didn't want that anymore. Today, he told me that he thinks the addiction is coming back. He has been having a stressful week and it has been imbedded in his brain that the dopamine rush will help. I know this has nothing to do with me, but it really makes me feel like I'm never going to be enough for him. He said himself, that no matter what I do, or what I send him, he will always think of those girls when he needs that dopamine rush. I do understand this and how he feels. I know it must be so hard for him. He doesn't want to hurt me anymore and he is hesitant on if he even wants to be with me.
I told him that he really needs to get some help as he alone cannot help his addiction and he agreed. I really hope he does get help.
I just feel so lost and empty right now. I feel like my whole world is crashing down and things feel so heavy. I know I don't deserve to be treated like this, but whatever I do seems like a bad idea. I told him that it really hurts, and that I don't know how long I can take it, but he replied with he feels a lot of pressure from me. I just want things to be good. I want to know what to do because I feel so hurt and alone. It's a lot of pain that I am going through and it makes it worse that he is saying things like "I don't know if I want to still be with you." I've read a lot of comments from other rebooters and they all wanted to change for their partners and to get better themselves. What should I do? Is there anyone I can talk to? I feel very helpless and hurt... I don't know how to act to help my partner...