Doing Real and my last Reboot from today

Do or die

Respected Member
Hello all I am trying to quit porn from 2016. Many times I won but then relapsed again.

But from today I am going to do it at any cost. So I am starting today on 18th July 2021.

Day 1
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
You got this Do! I'm following this journal also, believing you can do it.

Challenge yourself to do something different, to break this habit. We can't expect any change, if we ourselves don't change anything.

Find a way to 'relax' into the process, and not have a white knuckling moment by moment fear of relapsing. You know what you want, and that no urge can overtake you. You can outlast any urge.

Good luck!
 
How many times have you said that? its a good sentiment, but what will make this time any different? im not trying to undermine your determination, but what will your approach be?
we dont want to see this same post a few months from now!
This rebooting thing could easily turn into a "Relapse-Restart" life-long marathon. I told myself this 45 days ago. Before you know, another 10 years are gone and you still come here writing "Day 1 but this time I will really do it!" Yes, how many times can we say this in years? You know, I had a conversation like this with myself 45 days ago. "You will keep relapsing and restarting until you die! When will you really do it?" I understood that in order for this to work, I would have to do something about the urges and the craving for pleasure (first). Then do something about the lack of self-medication. Then do something to keep going when my mood is on the ground. Etc. A.k.a how do I keep going despise all the obstacles that this addiction puts in front of me? We need to find the tools inside of us, people can only give you advice, tell you what worked for them, tell you what you could try but, at the end of the day, this is a personal thing. It needs to come from inside. We need to figure out a way for us to do it but one thing I'm sure: It will involve embracing the suck, because this will suck a lot.
 
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Flesh

Member
How many times have you said that? its a good sentiment, but what will make this time any different? im not trying to undermine your determination, but what will your approach be?
we dont want to see this same post a few months from now!
I've already said to him that "same strategy = same results" but I feel like he wants to do it but isn't ready to make the effort/to take responsibilities to act on it.

Learning about the responsibilities stuff might help, Jordan peterson content is great for that.

And as I also mentioned before, u gotta find a reason that outperfom your currents ones, which seems to be powerless at the second the urges get even a bit strong.

Gotta spit facts at some points. Don't wanna get too harsh but funny that u got "do or die" as a name and u keep not doing.
 

Do or die

Respected Member
Ok. I will remember your all's suggestions. This time I am following my routine seriously I mean regular exercise , regular meditation etc
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Ok. I will remember your all's suggestions. This time I am following my routine seriously I mean regular exercise , regular meditation etc

Having a good routine in place is helpful for yourself all around, but the real test is when the urges come. Learn how to dismiss them. If you feed the urges, you fall; if you fight the urges, you fall.

Learn to be an outside observer, like you were watching yourself in a movie. When the urges come (and they will), just observe them nonjudgmentally, and deep-breathe until the urges pass, that is all.

Not until you dismiss urges, nothing will change.
 
Having a good routine in place is helpful for yourself all around, but the real test is when the urges come. Learn how to dismiss them. If you feed the urges, you fall; if you fight the urges, you fall.

Learn to be an outside observer, like you were watching yourself in a movie. When the urges come (and they will), just observe them nonjudgmentally, and deep-breathe until the urges pass, that is all.

Not until you dismiss urges, nothing will change.
Bingo! That's the thing. The real test is when urges kick in. All you see is the pleasure.
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Bingo! That's the thing. The real test is when urges kick in. All you see is the pleasure.

It's the itch that needs to be scratched, and it's the lower brain, from it's survival center, screaming as if it was life or death for its dopamine hits.

But, veto power is in the prefrontal cortex, meaning that we can overrule any signals from the beast-brain, and outlast, out wait, and dismiss any urge.

Rinse and repeat.
 

Do or die

Respected Member
Day 1 at 23rd July I tried my best in my last reboot. But I am relapsed. There is a big urge. Leave it. I will start again today. Pls support .
 
Day 1 at 23rd July I tried my best in my last reboot. But I am relapsed. There is a big urge. Leave it. I will start again today. Pls support .
You know, I used to complicate myself. I used to think about so many variables. "I need to change this, I need to change that" until I realize that simple things win. Breaking everything down to the basics. Phineas said this some days ago and I will bring this back into the light because THIS IS THE BASICS:

"the real test is when the urges come. Learn how to dismiss them. If you feed the urges, you fall; if you fight the urges, you fall.

Learn to be an outside observer, like you were watching yourself in a movie. When the urges come (and they will), just observe them non-judgmentally, and deep-breathe until the urges pass, that is all.

Not until you dismiss urges, nothing will change."

Yes, until we dismiss the urges, nothing will come, we will relapse over and over and over and... over? How many times? It first starts with urges. Listen, I used to be a "serial relapser". This is a term I've seen some user use it, I don't remember who. And I realized it described me to a T. I was that guy. The serial relapser. 49 days ago I was depressed. And then I realized the same thing: First thing is dealing with urges. If you don't pass this, then there is nothing. It's easy to tell yourself you will really do it this time but then hard urges hit you and then what's next? I've had days with urges so strong that I almost relapsed. But I didn't. You can't beat this without urges management.
 
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