Ready for a change

I’m fortunate to have my wife support with this process but at the same time its mentally exhausting not being cured from PIED. I want to be able to have a normal sex life but reality is its going to take longer than I anticipated. I have to continue with intimate time with my wife despite the possibility sex may not happen right away. I have to change my expectation to not focus on sex as this could lead to disappointment. Instead enjoy kissing, cuddling, etc. with my wife and let the rest happen naturally. There are several success stories on this forum with people struggling with PIED with their partner and with time was cured. I have to climb through these mountains to eventually get to the top.
 
Day 173 no PMO. Rewiring my brain is more complicated than quitting porn. I don’t have the urges to watch porn anymore which is a accomplishment considering how many decades I watched consistently. Rewiring my brain takes commitment, overly communication, and frequent intimate time with my wife. Last week my D didn’t respond which was devastating but its part of the process that is the most difficult. Have to have amnesia when it comes to intimate time with my wife. Things may not go as planned but as long as we continue to work on improving our connection there is light at the end of the tunnel. One day closer to success.
 
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I finally reviewed the list with my wife of different ways we can improve foreplay and intimacy. I let her know in more detail about the effects of porn and the importance of rewiring my brain through natural touch. I felt a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder and now we can work together to get passed this chapter.
 
The temptations to revert back to the old habit is coming back at least once per week. I need to put more of an effort with rewire to prevent my brain from going in the wrong direction. I put in too much time with my recovery to start over. The fact that I been recovering for over 6 months helps me from starting my old habit. I wish that I was fully recovered by now but without consistent rewiring that may not be the case. My wife is off on winter break from work which gives me more time to rewire. My goal is to create good rewire routine that will carryover to the new year and put us back on the right track.
 
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