Ready for a change

This seems to be the longest road less traveled in my life. I’ve been dealing with PMO for too long and struggled multiple times trying to quit. Porn was a stress reliever for me and for awhile I accepted this was going to be apart of my life. I recently tried pills to offset the ED but the inconsistency was not worth the embarrassment of not being able to perform my husband duties. I came across this blog as well as read multiple articles to come to the conclusion that porn was causing my ED. I’ve been PMO free for 8 weeks. Reading these blogs, daily tracker, and the desire to be able to sexual please my wife has kept me from relapsing. I’ve experience flatlines and occasional morning woods. I’ve read having your partner involved with the process helps speed up the recover. I mentioned to my wife we should target 1-2 times per week cuddling, fondling, etc. to improve intimacy. I really hope we will be able to go back to a normal sex life. This has mentally been a cloud hanging over my head and I’ve ready for a change.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
welcome! thats a good plan. start slowly and get your (sexy) confidence back. slowly slowly catchy monkey.
rewire your brain to the intimacy that you feel with your wife, over time youll start getting rock hard just by hugging, fondling, using toys, vegetables, lubricants, etc extended foreplay with no penetration etc.
then the thought of not being able to perform wont even enter your mind, youll just sort of know its not a problem anymore and youll go back to splitting her in two regularly (and i bet shell bloody love it!).
stick with the reboot, youve got time and it can only get better!
 
Thank you for the feedback. It really helps to have a platform to talk to like minded people who understand the struggle without judgement. I look forward to sex being easy again without any PIED. I have to make it a priority to have extended foreplay with my wife even if it means no penetration for the time being. I avoided foreplay and sex for awhile because of this issue. It gave me time to focus on the reboot process and have the tools needed not to relapse. I don’t have the same urges to look at porn anymore which is a pleasant surprise. I want to meet/exceed the 90 day target to rewire my brain. I hope with time and intimacy with my wife things will be back to normal soon. Day 59 and counting.
 
Last edited:
Wife is on board with improving intimacy through touch that will eventually lead to intercourse. The thought of having to go through this process is challenging. I didn’t anticipate having PIED when we got married over 12 years ago but its life. My addiction to porn has caught up to me and now I’m ready to beat this addiction. I’m in a “use it or lose it“ mode if I want to get my D back to normal. Its been awhile since we had sex due to PIED. We had oral sex but not penetration. Hopefully I will be able to get it back to “use it“ mode sooner than later. Its been 81 days so far no PMO and I can fill changes in my morning wood and desire. Now I have to put the work in to initiate intimacy with my wife to build the confidence and D hardness to get back to a normal sex life. Sharing my thoughts on this forum has been therapeutic and motivation to continue the good fight.
 
87 days and mind is still focus on the end goal. Random erections are coming back and the desire to have sex. I feel something that I thought was gone…hope. I‘m confident with time my D will be back to normal as long as I continue to follow the reboot process. Gradually increasing intimacy with my wife. Orgasms with my wife through physical touch and oral sex. I don’t think this will set me back. D not at 100% but its getting stronger which gives me hope that penetration will happen.

We recently celebrated our wedding anniversary and I was tempted to use viagra. I tried viagra before and its not consistent since the issue is not ED but PIED. The test was passed not to try the quick fix but let everything happen naturally. If I used it and had sex than I would rely on it and lose confidence with my D being able to perform without supplements. This would prolong the process even more which is not worth it.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. I had to face my addiction and performance anxiety problems as a result of PIED. I was getting use to watching porn almost daily and not having sex consistently. Lying to my wife about not watching porn or masturbating. It took awhile to get to this reboot point but with each day my mind and body is getting stronger. Instead of watching porn for hours I’m doing more productive things like working out consistently and spending more time with my wife. 90 days target is around the corner something I thought was impossible. New target is 180 days.
 
Made 90 days no PMO. Morning wood back to 100% and lasted for awhile. The reboot process is working and proof that PIED was my main issue since I’m getting strong morning wood after no PMO for 90 days. I succeeded with my 90 day goal without any relapse. This forum, timer, and tired of being in this situation are the main motivators to get me to this point. The next phase is consistent intimacy with my wife to get my D use to normal touch and arousal.
 

zackergeet

Active Member
Made 90 days no PMO. Morning wood back to 100% and lasted for awhile. The reboot process is working and proof that PIED was my main issue since I’m getting strong morning wood after no PMO for 90 days. I succeeded with my 90 day goal without any relapse. This forum, timer, and tired of being in this situation are the main motivators to get me to this point. The next phase is consistent intimacy with my wife to get my D use to normal touch and arousal.
Awesome @Next Chapter please let us know everything about your recovery from PiED, and how you did it. I am also in my way to recover from it 40 day free of PMO here. Hopefully I can recover as you are doing it. Great work and keep it up!
 
100 days hardmode no PMO. Morning wood and random erections throughout the day. Working out consistently 3-4 times a week. I have time now for more productive things in my life now that I’m not addicted to porn. It took hitting rock bottom to finally get the mental strength to break this strong hold porn had on me.

This forum, timer, and desire to have a normal sex life has been the key to getting me to this point. Reading about other people stories is confirmation I’m not alone on this journey. I succeeded with my 90 and 100 day goal of no PMO without any relapse. Next target is 180 days no PMO. I hope before this time my D will be fully recovered with a normal sex life with my wife.
 
Day 108. This is truly a roller coaster going through porn recovery. Strong morning wood was consistent for awhile but now I feel like I’m going through a flatline. It could be a result from lack of sleep lately. Hardmode no PMO for this long is an accomplishment especially considering the hold porn had on my life. Reading success stories I understand other people experience similar flatline patterns. Being married there is guilt that I feel for putting us in this situation. Its difficult trying to manage my brain rewiring and the desire to get straight to home plate. I want to wake up and have this be a distant memory. There is a lot of work that need to get done to fully recover. Intimacy with my wife is crucial to transition to the next level of desire through normal touch. I wish it wasn’t this difficult to make it a reality. She works a lot more hours recently and is tired during the week. Having kids is wonderful but challenging for making intimate time a priority. We need to spend at least 2-3 times a week being intimate through physical touch, erotic massage, etc. I feel PMO alone is not enough to get me passed the finish line. I need my wife to be an active member of my recovery. The desire to heal my body and brain from porn is stronger than the addiction. I will continue to journal my experience to keep me from reverting back to my old favorite hobby.
 
Wife is on board with intimate time every weekend. Not sure if I should not orgasm till my D is back. I would rather orgasm inside of her instead of a BJ. Regardless this is a step in the right direction. Consistent intimate time is what we need to stay connected and get my D back. Really just want to enjoy the moment and not over thinking the possibilities. Keeping open communication is essential to move past this addiction. She is aware that I use to look at porn and masturbate. Most of the time I denied it but since I can‘t magically cure my PIED tonight we spoke openly. I was afraid this would cause a bridge in our marriage but it was important for her to know she is not the reason for my PIED. I mentioned her support and frequent intimate time is needed to get our sex life back. I have to take to the lead to make sure this happens every weekend.
 
Last edited:
Had a wet dream last night making love to my wife. Coming clean to my wife about my porn addiction and having her support with improving our sex life lifted the burden I felt. Porn addiction effects both the body and the mind. Being able to enjoy the moment with any expectations is the plan for my weekly intimate sessions.

Morning wood coming back again. Getting enough sleep at night is the best medicine for morning wood. Success is just around the corner just have to be patient to make it a reality.
 
116 days PMO hardmode. I do get tempted sometimes to look at porn but its a passing thought. I have no desire to restart the clock especially since my morning woods and sensitivity with my D is back. First session of intimate time with my wife was enjoyable. In my mind I want to jump straight to the finish line and have great sex but reality is its going to take time. I have stay in the present moment both mentally and physically. Even though I did have an orgasm it was only on medium. Next session will enjoy longer foreplay without focusing on penetration. This process is crazy and I hope it will payoff in the end.
 
129 days PMO hard mode. Getting frustrated with the lack of arousal from my D. Morning woods are sporadic which could be a result from lack of sleep or not fully recovered from orgasm a few weeks ago. Flatline is back after orgasm with wife. Getting tempted to try viagra to speed up the process but that is not a guarantee since it requires arousal. Issue is a porn issue and not my D based on the ED test. Wife mentioned we should talk to a sex therapist to get suggestions for couple exercises to improve our sex life. Mind is going around in circles not knowing when my D will wake up and be ready for a normal sex life. When I was watching porn and masturbating weekly it was a stress relief outlet but it never addressed my PIED with my wife. Now I’m facing the hard truth going through this reboot / rewire mode and its not an easy thing to process mentally and physically. The timeline for recovery is different for everyone but I have to put the work in to get to the other side of success.
 

Jonno

Member
Thanks for sharing Next Chapter! I am at the start of a journey that feels very much like yours. I have not had the courage to open up to my wife about the cause of my ED yet, I admire you for that and I am encouraged by your words. I wish you strength!
 
Thanks for sharing Next Chapter! I am at the start of a journey that feels very much like yours. I have not had the courage to open up to my wife about the cause of my ED yet, I admire you for that and I am encouraged by your words. I wish you strength!
Thanks Jonno for the support. It took awhile to come clean with her. Denied it for a long time but couldn’t hide not being able to have sex anymore. Need her support to speed up this recovery. This is by far the toughest challenge that I haven’t been able to resolve yet which brings a mix of emotions. This forum is a great sound board to outline the struggles we go through trying to recover from this addiction and the effects it caused. I’m hoping to be able to tell my success story with PIED. I feel like I’m trying to learn how to ride a bike again when it comes to intimacy / sex with my wife. Reading about different ways to improve intimacy and foreplay which seems crazy at this age. I realize my mind and body has to reconnect with my wife which will require longer foreplay than what I was accustomed to and more frequent intimate time.
 
Last edited:
Day 132. The pressure that I put on myself to have sex to end this sexless countdown is counterproductive. The thoughts of starting from the beginning and writing down other ways we can connect without penetration had my brain on overdrive to the point that I woke up with 100% morning wood. Foreplay, nuru massage, fondling, oral sex, sensate focus, passionate kisses, etc. got my brain rewiring. I’m going to put a list together of other ways to connect to improve intimacy/arousal and review it with my wife. Hopefully she will add other things on the list. The main point is for me not to focus on getting to home plate which ends in disappointment but start off with the simple things that increases arousal that will ultimately lead to a healthy sex life. I feel like I made great progress with my porn addiction and now its time to put the effort in with rewiring my brain to normal touch.
 
Day 142. Drafted list of varies ways my wife and I can connect to improve intimacy. Making the time has proven to be the next challenge with work and busy weekends. Staying strong mentally during this process is essential although I have my moments. Porn was a clutch when sex wasn’t available but now it prevents me from having it at all due to PIED. As long as we are working together to improve intimacy than we are going in the right direction for a successful sex life.
 
Day 150. Feeling good about my recovery from porn. The urges and desire to watch porn is no longer dominating my thoughts. I have more time to do more productive things like working out in my home gym and spending time with my family. Phase 2 rewiring is taking longer than expected due to lack of intimate time with my wife. Have to stay focus on the end goal.
 
Last edited:
I thought I had a good grasp of my porn addiction but was almost tempted to PMO. There was no trigger to cause it just my D getting a random erection something that was missing when I was addicted to porn. I noticed my horniness is starting to come back too since I’m not constantly emptying my tank. The end goal is more important than a short term fix. I hope this means I’m getting closer to having a normal sex life with my life. I now of consistent morning wood, random erections, and horniness coming back. The last time I had an orgasm with my wife my D had a flatline for awhile. I’m ready to test it out again and hopefully without any flatline.
 
Last edited:
Top