forceisstrong2
Active Member
Day 8
I'm a porn addict (by far the crappiest, lamest addiction ever)
- Thread starter forceisstrong
- Start date
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Day 9
Walon:
Look, forgiveness from other folks is good, but ain't nothin' but words comin' at you from outside. You want to kick this shit, you got to forgive your own self. Love yourself some, brother. And then drag your sorry ass to some meetings.
Bubbles:
Meetings?
Walon:
What the f*** do you wanna hear? That you're strong enough to do this by yourself? Gettin' clean's the easy part. And then comes life.
Walon:
Look, forgiveness from other folks is good, but ain't nothin' but words comin' at you from outside. You want to kick this shit, you got to forgive your own self. Love yourself some, brother. And then drag your sorry ass to some meetings.
Bubbles:
Meetings?
Walon:
What the f*** do you wanna hear? That you're strong enough to do this by yourself? Gettin' clean's the easy part. And then comes life.
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Day 10
Damn. Dunno. Feel kinda depressed today for some reason. Anyways. another day porn free is a good day.
Force
Damn. Dunno. Feel kinda depressed today for some reason. Anyways. another day porn free is a good day.
Force
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
True! Staying away from P is the best thing we can do for ourselves. It will suck for a while now and then, but it gets better.
CloseToToast
Active Member
Sorry to hear its a rough day force! Just know that the flatline is just your brain taking a mini vacation to heal. Just get through it and be ready for the better side once it returns!
Fantastic quote Force! The Wire was such a brilliant series and the challenge of what lies after getting clean is right on the money.
Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. As we all know, this feeling is common where you're at though. It will pass and you'll be grateful to yourself for not succumbing to it.
Keep up the great work, stay strong
Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. As we all know, this feeling is common where you're at though. It will pass and you'll be grateful to yourself for not succumbing to it.
Keep up the great work, stay strong
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Day 11
You know, I actually had an opportunity to watch porn today. It was there before me. And my mind was going, 'g'wan, just check it out for a minute.' Anyway, I took a moment - and all it took was a moment - to think about where the porn rabbit hole would lead me and I didn't want to go there, ever. It's been wrecking my life, my mind, my relationships, and everything really. So no, no more porn. Now comes life.
@WinkTinkTillium @downhillfromhere thanks a million for reaching out. Yeah, yesterday sucked. Depressed, flatlined. I'm feeling better today - no doubt a lot of that is down to you guys and your support. So thanks a million. Let's keep fighting this every single day!
@Orbiter great hearing from you - it's been a while! Yeah, I love The Wire. And Bubbles may be my fav character. I hope you are doing well Orbiter, stay strong buddy and stay away from porn!!!
All we got to do is fight this thing one day at a time.
Force
You know, I actually had an opportunity to watch porn today. It was there before me. And my mind was going, 'g'wan, just check it out for a minute.' Anyway, I took a moment - and all it took was a moment - to think about where the porn rabbit hole would lead me and I didn't want to go there, ever. It's been wrecking my life, my mind, my relationships, and everything really. So no, no more porn. Now comes life.
@WinkTinkTillium @downhillfromhere thanks a million for reaching out. Yeah, yesterday sucked. Depressed, flatlined. I'm feeling better today - no doubt a lot of that is down to you guys and your support. So thanks a million. Let's keep fighting this every single day!
@Orbiter great hearing from you - it's been a while! Yeah, I love The Wire. And Bubbles may be my fav character. I hope you are doing well Orbiter, stay strong buddy and stay away from porn!!!
All we got to do is fight this thing one day at a time.
Force
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Day 12 & 13
Obviously, staying away from porn is the main objective, but for the last few weeks, I found myself substituting porn for images on Instagram, etc. That led to my last relapse if I'm being honest. Anyway, I stayed away from subs for the last couple of days. For me personally, cutting out all subs and mindless internet browsing has really helped with this whole process. It helped me clear my head and feel more positive. For safety's sake now, when I go on the web, Google Chrome has the images shut off so I can't accidentally see any triggers.
Basically, what I've kind of figured out is this. There's a part of my mind that's hooked on dopamine, that wants its cheap kick every day. And this is the part which I have to starve to death and banish forever. Otherwise, I'll never kick this thing and this low grade bullshit misery will continue forever until I die. And, obviously, I don't want that.
So each day now, I tell myself. No images. No cheap dopamine hits. Doing it one day at a time is manageable.
Obviously, staying away from porn is the main objective, but for the last few weeks, I found myself substituting porn for images on Instagram, etc. That led to my last relapse if I'm being honest. Anyway, I stayed away from subs for the last couple of days. For me personally, cutting out all subs and mindless internet browsing has really helped with this whole process. It helped me clear my head and feel more positive. For safety's sake now, when I go on the web, Google Chrome has the images shut off so I can't accidentally see any triggers.
Basically, what I've kind of figured out is this. There's a part of my mind that's hooked on dopamine, that wants its cheap kick every day. And this is the part which I have to starve to death and banish forever. Otherwise, I'll never kick this thing and this low grade bullshit misery will continue forever until I die. And, obviously, I don't want that.
So each day now, I tell myself. No images. No cheap dopamine hits. Doing it one day at a time is manageable.
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
This is the way to do it. Substitutes also feed the monster!
OrangeSpider
Active Member
Im on the same boat, its not just the P, its the lifestyle that comes with it, especially that dopamine seeking. I also am working on being aware and carefully planning my interactions on the web, social media and my phone.
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Hey @OrangeSpider & @downhillfromhere !!! It's interesting you think this too.
For me, it was like I had this blind spot. I'd stopped watching porn, but I was subbing it with other crap and so I wasn't really beating this. Yeah, for me anyway it's been like a eureka moment. Cut off feeding the monster and yeah we can weed ourselves slowly off this dopamine addition. I think being 'aware' is key. Being aware of destructive behavior that'll keep the monster strong and eventually lead back to porn.
One last thing. I've been off all subs four days now and it's making a big difference mental health-wise.
One day at a time!
Day 14!!!
CloseToToast
Active Member
Hell yea @forceisstrong2 congrats on 2 weeks! Great mindset shift and reflection above! So very glad to hear about the mental health improvements. You have a taste of that progress. Now turn that into your power!
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Hey, thanks @WinkTinkTillium ... yeah, two weeks. It flew. And this time I'm not getting cocky either. Staying humble, taking it one day at a time!
Like your advice too... "turn that into your power!" I will!!!
All the best
Day 15!!!
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
Nice, great job on passing two weeks! 
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Hey thanks @downhillfromhere !!! Hope you are doing great andNice, great job on passing two weeks!
right back at you!!! Day 18
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Day 19
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Day 20
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Day 21
I know I relapsed like 21 days ago. But I do feel like I'm making real progress. Other than that one relapse, I've been porn free for like two months.
I wouldn't have been able to do it without the support and the amazing advice and encouragement I get from this forum. You guys (and maybe girls) are all the best. Hope you're all having a great porn-free day!!!
All the best!!
I know I relapsed like 21 days ago. But I do feel like I'm making real progress. Other than that one relapse, I've been porn free for like two months.
I wouldn't have been able to do it without the support and the amazing advice and encouragement I get from this forum. You guys (and maybe girls) are all the best. Hope you're all having a great porn-free day!!!
All the best!!
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
That’s a great way to look at it! One bad day out of two months.
Blondie
Respected Member
Rock on @forceisstrong2!
I think seeing the BIG picture is always more helpful than only looking at days.
Congrats.
I think seeing the BIG picture is always more helpful than only looking at days.
Congrats.