I'm a porn addict (by far the crappiest, lamest addiction ever)

I know how this goes. The image of an individual, who is at the age where he should be a man, sitting in front of his computer in the dark edging to porn, is a very sad show. Maybe a pathetic show for some people, if they get to enter in the room and see the guy. Or me, cause I'm a guy like that now. I'm 30 and I edge in the dark with my dick in my hand and then I go out and I am mediocre as if I haven't grown up a bit in 20 years. I swear, porn fucked up my mental health, it halted my growth (not in height) and it even fucked up my memory of past events. But there is a solution and the solution is to take the chains off.
so very true, i have been stuggling with this for so long
i never knew why i was not able to remember basic stuffs like houses on the roads names of my distant relatives and why was i always so anxious when i looked people in the eye i felt like they know my masturbation habits and i would just avoid eye contact at any cost with anyone i could not even speak with confidence
now i know it just didnt interest me
turns out it was porn all the time all i wanted to remember was porn and it fucked me up it turned me into this pathetic loser who is know not able to step out of his house
 
I have all the reasons to believe that too much PMO has affected my mental health a lot. I belive that my high social anxiety is a result of this. It started when I was 14-15 when I was masturbating twice a day to porn flashbacks and porn induced fantasies. But it got really bad when I was 18 and binging 7 PMOs in a day. And not only this but overthinking, depression, low mental tolerance, poor concentrate, memory problems, difficulties with memorizing, and I used to have a great ability to memorize and remember things in elementary school, it was my strength and then porn addiction hit hard and it has reduced this ability to a laughing stock, I need to read something like 10 times to memorize it.
oh my god , i finally have found someone who has gone through exactly what i have
i felt it was only me i was super smart in school would score the highest and it got me into a delusion that i can do nothing wrong it gave me grandiose delusion
all my abilty my charm i have lost evrything
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
I can definitely relate to the boat you're in @forceisstrong2. It really sucks when you give it your all and by one slip up, feel like the whole world's come crushing down on you. I for one can barely go past through a week and have been trying to quit for the past eight years. It's no easy feat but we're here for a reason and it's because we want to be free, get better, take back control of our thoughts and mind.
All I can say is you're not alone and just hang in there. It's never easy but with time and resilience, it'll get better. I only wish a the best and stay strong
Hey man,

I'm two weeks off porn. If you stay off it for over a week, you do see improvements in your mental health/life pretty rapidly. It's getting over that first week. That's the biggest challenge.

I was going through the relapse after a week thing too. Sometimes all it takes is a reset/coming up with a plan. Setting up phone/computer so you can't watch porn. Do some other activity with people when you think you're liable to relapse, etc.

Keep at it. Getting past that first week is key.

Good luck!
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
so very true, i have been stuggling with this for so long
i never knew why i was not able to remember basic stuffs like houses on the roads names of my distant relatives and why was i always so anxious when i looked people in the eye i felt like they know my masturbation habits and i would just avoid eye contact at any cost with anyone i could not even speak with confidence
now i know it just didnt interest me
turns out it was porn all the time all i wanted to remember was porn and it fucked me up it turned me into this pathetic loser who is know not able to step out of his house
Yeah,

porn fucks up your life. All of those things you said I can relate to.

What I do know is this. After a few weeks of no porn, the old you does come back. You just need to be positive. Make positive changes in your life. I meditate everyday, block all porn (don't have access to password ), don't look at any images, try to live a clean life. Pretty quickly you do see radical changes in your life. Including more confidence, the brain fog lifts, etc.

Stay positive, develop a strategy that works for you, and don't give up.

All the best
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
Hi Force.



I wrote something about binges a while back (and not on this site). I'll quote it below with a few edits:




"Bingeing used to be a huge issue for me, and for a long time, but somehow in the last couple of years I got better at avoiding it. I don't think nearly enough emphasis gets placed on this issue and how to resolve it, unless I'm missing something. Often the advice seems to be:

"Don't binge."

But how do you avoid bingeing? Maybe I'll do a list of some things which I think help:

  • Do your best to never look at "actual", high-speed internet porn. Porn makes bingers out of non-bingers. It's a massive binge-promoting activity. P-subs, chat and all the rest of it, yes they can certainly "inspire" binges, but not to nearly the same extent, I don't think. Remove porn and a significant amount of bingeing goes away.
  • Have a "ritual" for when you reset. For me it's: get in the shower, put my clothes in the wash, maybe go for a walk or something, but as soon as it's "safe" to do so, tell someone about the slip online, or write it down somewhere. You may wish to perhaps tell someone who will not overreact in any way. Perhaps someone who has also reset recently. Don't be afraid to write quite a lot of stuff. You could write some things privately, to yourself, and some things to another person (or people). All this reinforces your resolve to get back on track. But be careful while online of course!
  • Distract yourself with hobbies and things like that. You could do any remotely positive "thing" instead.
  • Don't rely on willpower too much. If in doubt, put yourself in a less triggering environment, or strongly distract yourself and so on.
  • There's a book you can get free online called "Never Binge Again". Although it's about binge-eating, it applies well to this addiction too.
Anyway, hope this helps in some way, even if it's a case of, "Who does this guy think he is?" and it distracts you from urges that way lol."
Hey,

Thanks a million for this. All of this is great advice. I have actually blocked all porn now from my computer/phone and can't access it. Also, I'm staying away from all triggers. I've blocked instagram, youtube, etc. Anything that'll lead me back to porn I'm cutting out. It's working. My mental health is getting stronger/feeling more like my old self.

I will for sure check out that Never Binge Again book. It's sounds really interesting.

Thank a million for all your great advice again. Really appreciate it!
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
This intense struggle allows you to cultivate self-control and self-discipline, which will lead you towards a more virtuous life. Right now, it seems like an impossible battle but in time, you will be rewarded. Keep fighting. Few men make it through this challenge and commit sincerely to these radical lifestyle changes. By defeating these base urges and winning the battle for our own souls, we can then lead other men to victory. God bless you, best of luck on your journey.
Thanks man for your encouraging words. I never thought of it alike that, but you are so right. If I can cultivate self-control and self-discipline and beat this bullshit, then yeah naturally it will lead to more positive changes in other areas of my life too.

Thanks man and best of luck on your journey too!
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
I can definitely relate to the boat you're in @forceisstrong2. It really sucks when you give it your all and by one slip up, feel like the whole world's come crushing down on you. I for one can barely go past through a week and have been trying to quit for the past eight years. It's no easy feat but we're here for a reason and it's because we want to be free, get better, take back control of our thoughts and mind.
All I can say is you're not alone and just hang in there. It's never easy but with time and resilience, it'll get better. I only wish a the best and stay strong
Hey

MovingOnToBetterThings sent me this advice about avoiding porn binges/relapses. Really useful advice. Thought I'd share. Best of luck!

"Bingeing used to be a huge issue for me, and for a long time, but somehow in the last couple of years I got better at avoiding it. I don't think nearly enough emphasis gets placed on this issue and how to resolve it, unless I'm missing something. Often the advice seems to be:

"Don't binge."

But how do you avoid bingeing? Maybe I'll do a list of some things which I think help:

  • Do your best to never look at "actual", high-speed internet porn. Porn makes bingers out of non-bingers. It's a massive binge-promoting activity. P-subs, chat and all the rest of it, yes they can certainly "inspire" binges, but not to nearly the same extent, I don't think. Remove porn and a significant amount of bingeing goes away.
  • Have a "ritual" for when you reset. For me it's: get in the shower, put my clothes in the wash, maybe go for a walk or something, but as soon as it's "safe" to do so, tell someone about the slip online, or write it down somewhere. You may wish to perhaps tell someone who will not overreact in any way. Perhaps someone who has also reset recently. Don't be afraid to write quite a lot of stuff. You could write some things privately, to yourself, and some things to another person (or people). All this reinforces your resolve to get back on track. But be careful while online of course!
  • Distract yourself with hobbies and things like that. You could do any remotely positive "thing" instead.
  • Don't rely on willpower too much. If in doubt, put yourself in a less triggering environment, or strongly distract yourself and so on.
  • There's a book you can get free online called "Never Binge Again". Although it's about binge-eating, it applies well to this addiction too.
Anyway, hope this helps in some way, even if it's a case of, "Who does this guy think he is?" and it distracts you from urges that way lol."
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
Day 11

All good. One of the things I'm trying to do is cut out all negativity in my life. Everything I try to do is positive. Things that help me. Keep me in a positive state of mind. Including this forum.

What's great about this forum - besides the sense of community and support - is that I always feel really positive after posting. It's like my mind is telling me, yes, I'm making progress, I've made it through another day. And here is the evidence, the record. Which is really cool.

Happy Friday!

Force
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
15 days.

I'm doing a lot of exercise. It helps a lot. Gets me into a good headspace and gives me a lot of positive energy.

I'm trying to replace all bad habits with good habits. One of the things I've discovered is that sometimes I mindlessly start surfing the web and this can lead me to checking out an ex on facebook or whatever. And I start feeling kinda depressed and so start checking out hot girls, bla bla. Ya know where that leads. Anyway. I'm going to be very mindful of that this week. No mindless websurfing. I'm only going to do positive, mindful things.

Thanks for all the support brothers!

Force
 
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