My relationship with porn started when I was quite you around 7yo. I walked into a video rental store and was glued to all these different titles on display and I couldn't take my eyes off them. A few months later I was up at night watching TV and some show came on with lots of nudity and sex which had me more intrigued. Another few months had passed when one day I was playing hide and seek with some friends during a power outage and my neighbour and I decided to hide somewhere and try to have sex, bit really knowing anything about it, we were both around the same age.
A few years had passed since that incident and I had moved to a new country, during my first year of high school I met my first girlfriend, everything was going well until the topic of sex came up. We decided to ditch school one day and try it out. A few hours after it happened we got a call from her mom who I'd never met before. She was furious and told me that she was getting her daughter tested and if she found out that I had taken her virginity she would do everything in her power to make sure I would end up in jail. Scared for my life, I spent the next few hours crying and thinking that my life was over and all the worst case scenarios possible.
moving forward a few months down the line our relationship was going well but we ended up breaking due to stupid kid reasons. I was single and heart broken and remembered a few friends of mine talking about the late night shows on MTV. One night I decided to see what the hype was about so I waited until my whole family was asleep, I turned on the TV on mute and watched for a few minutes before deciding to rub one out, it became a regular thing I did a few times a week on and off during my time in high school.
During my first year of Uni I got a laptop and moved from TV to pornsites. After a while I wanted to try out sex again without always having the pressure of someone's mum threatening me.
A friend of mine was super confident and always had girls he was sleeping with so I decided to stick with him and learn how he did it. Few weeks later I managed to go for a study session with a girl in my class and one thing lead to another. I was disappointed but still wanted more but went back to porn again but not as regularly.
Over time I had a few sexual partners and girlfriends but always went back to porn as it seemed like a normal thing that all boys my age did. I didn't think it had any negative impacts but always kept it to myself.
I'm now 25yo and for the latest 2 years my porn addiction has had the worst impact on my relationship. I've lied to her multiple times about it, its ruined our sex life and at times I can't get it up to save my life and its embarrassing. I promised her I wouldn't watch porn while she went away for a few days on a holiday but ended up doing it again. I've always thought that this was something I could over come by myself without any help as I'm not really one to talk about my problems to anyone. I'm currently looking to get some counselling and also came across this group from an article I read.
I'ts been since Friday without porn and I know it can be one of the hardest habits to get rid of. I don't want this to be part of my life any longer, I just want to be happy again and focus on growing my relationship and career
A few years had passed since that incident and I had moved to a new country, during my first year of high school I met my first girlfriend, everything was going well until the topic of sex came up. We decided to ditch school one day and try it out. A few hours after it happened we got a call from her mom who I'd never met before. She was furious and told me that she was getting her daughter tested and if she found out that I had taken her virginity she would do everything in her power to make sure I would end up in jail. Scared for my life, I spent the next few hours crying and thinking that my life was over and all the worst case scenarios possible.
moving forward a few months down the line our relationship was going well but we ended up breaking due to stupid kid reasons. I was single and heart broken and remembered a few friends of mine talking about the late night shows on MTV. One night I decided to see what the hype was about so I waited until my whole family was asleep, I turned on the TV on mute and watched for a few minutes before deciding to rub one out, it became a regular thing I did a few times a week on and off during my time in high school.
During my first year of Uni I got a laptop and moved from TV to pornsites. After a while I wanted to try out sex again without always having the pressure of someone's mum threatening me.
A friend of mine was super confident and always had girls he was sleeping with so I decided to stick with him and learn how he did it. Few weeks later I managed to go for a study session with a girl in my class and one thing lead to another. I was disappointed but still wanted more but went back to porn again but not as regularly.
Over time I had a few sexual partners and girlfriends but always went back to porn as it seemed like a normal thing that all boys my age did. I didn't think it had any negative impacts but always kept it to myself.
I'm now 25yo and for the latest 2 years my porn addiction has had the worst impact on my relationship. I've lied to her multiple times about it, its ruined our sex life and at times I can't get it up to save my life and its embarrassing. I promised her I wouldn't watch porn while she went away for a few days on a holiday but ended up doing it again. I've always thought that this was something I could over come by myself without any help as I'm not really one to talk about my problems to anyone. I'm currently looking to get some counselling and also came across this group from an article I read.
I'ts been since Friday without porn and I know it can be one of the hardest habits to get rid of. I don't want this to be part of my life any longer, I just want to be happy again and focus on growing my relationship and career
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