Journey to a better me

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Flesh

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(I do miss it a lot though)
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No idea what are the thoughts behind this statement, and they're all yours, but may I suggest more communication about each person basic needs, expectations and relation to these needs. (Not necessarily sex, but in the current subject, there is apparently something missing and maybe that effort of communication would help clear things up and either keep things that way but make less in the fog (if it is), or maybe would it improve things). Also we very often time assume things about how the other think but that might change overtime so.. communication :) .
 
F

Flesh

Member
wait, how u know im french:oops:

Ben having some strong urges in the mornings lately during my coding sessions, once I get settled into work it seems to go away naturally.
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same here, i'm 9 days no video game and it's litteraly as hard as no pmo to me, between 7 (waking time) and 9 i just can't get myself to work it's litteraly a battle to get to it then once im 5-10min into it all urges are gone.

In case u need some ideas for short but effective training sessions, on the following link there is a guide to "how RPT works" (reverse pyramid training), it's so intense and concentrate that u can spend litteraly 3h a week (3x1h) at the gym. There is a training program sample around 2/3 of the article

leangains.com

The Reverse Pyramid Training Guide - Leangains

My physique and strength are built on Reverse Pyramid Training (RPT). My clients? RPT. In my 19 years of weight training, I’ve tried countless methods, but always revert back to RPT. It’s the most reliable and effective I’ve ever come across. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be using it. I’m not married...
leangains.com leangains.com
 
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Deleted member 22651

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Flesh said:
wait, how u know im french:oops:
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Hahaha one of the links you suggested in the past was in french and it only makes sense that you would send something in your first language. Its my first too, although I dont speak it as much as I would like to, I can still speak and read it though
 
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Deleted member 22651

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Day 41:

I had a sneak look at some porn a couple of times a few days ago to see what would happen. Didn't feel like looking more into it and kept reminding myself that it was for the best that I left that part of me behind.

"Dont let the pixels win"
 
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Deleted member 22651

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Day 45:

Still getting the occasional urge here and there but it doesn't bother me any more, I try looking at myself from a 3rd person perspective and think about what I would see if I relapse or even look at porn for too long and it works.

I have noticed myself checking out girls with bodies that fit the type of porn I was into and have the occasional fantasy but I try to get back to my senses as quick as possible.

Mood keeps changing up and down and I seem to not be motivated at times to even work.

Not sure how long the effects of brain fog usually last but I'm finding it difficult sometimes to focus, or to understand things when learning Javasctipt, I'll order some brain vitamins and spend less time on my social media.

I think I forgot how to learn
 
F

Flesh

Member
If u're interested in the "brain opti" stuff, I recommand you to check Jim kwik content on youtube. He has some really good stuff
 
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Deleted member 22651

Guest
Day 50:

Last two days have been interesting, slight spike in urges so I decided to have a look at some old Instagram teasers for a few minutes, I feel like my guard was down for a sec and I slipped a little. Lockdown is getting to me, and its getting harder to stay productive but im pushing through hopefully we get out of it next week. I've been more productive with learning JavaScript and feeling more confident than I did before, changed the way I learn by being more practical with it and thats without the brain supplements (havent got around to getting some yet).

My dick is back to what it was 4 years ago but my sexual enthusiasm isnt really there. I dont know whats missing but I know that things can be worse so Im just glad that these problems arent too major.

Cant wait to get out of lockdown so I can see my counselor.
 
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Deleted member 22651

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Day 51:

Just woke up to the most erotic wet dream.

I almost feel like it counts as a relapse cause of the images I fed my brain recently.
I've made it this far and hate to think that I might have to start again.
 
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Deleted member 22651

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Day 62:

Its been a while, but all is going well (somewhat).

The wet dream I had caused me to have some ED for a few days but after that things went back to normal, maybe even better.

I don't get daily urges anymore, maybe once or twice a week but it never lasts and not as strong as before. My self control has improved since the last time I peeped at some images which caused the wet dream.

Spent a few days home alone and haven't watched porn or looked at any teasing material on social medias.

Ive been more focused on improving other areas of my life like getting out of debt and finding ideas for small businesses that can bring in more money and keep me busy. Learning Javascript has been a challenge but fun, its good to use my mind again and do things that help me think a lot, I even dream about writing code and sometimes solve issues in my sleep.

Still in lockdown but overall all is well and Im grateful for everyone who has contributed to my progress so far, especially on this forum.

Plan for the next 30 days is no peeking at any tempting material and just take it all one day at a time
 
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Deleted member 22651

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Day 0:

Today was meant to be day 70 but I let myself slip from the moment I woke up.

Haven't been 100% happy in my relationship over the last few months, Ive had this feeling that this isnt what I want for a while and I tried to push it and be happy for as long as possible but the feeling started creeping back up again. Even my partner can tell that im not 100% happy anymore but I've still been trying.

We've had a few obstacles that challenged our relationship, mainly religious expectations of me to convert to Islam but as much as I respect all religions and peoples choices, I'm happy with my choice to stay spiritual and not be religious. Although I love her, I just know the relationship is slowly coming to an end soon.

I feel like I was more conscious about my decision this morning to watch porn and masturbate. Im proud of how far I've come, and have no regrets or negative feelings about what I did, now I just need to get back on track again and figure out what to do next thats best for me and my happiness.
 
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Deleted member 22651

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Day 9:

After my relapse, I let myself get into a bad place where I was watching porn for a few days. I remembered that what I was doing was of no help and benefit to my life so I took control of the situation and here we are again.
 
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Deleted member 22651

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Day 30:

Made it to a month again, last time I was here a few months ago, I was full of temptation, constantly looking at porn tabs but not clicking them just to get me through the day. I thought it was better than watching and masturbating, that was only a few months ago in August.
I've spent a good part of the last few months in my own head, reflecting on everything and looking at what I needed to do to improve certain areas of my life. Porn has definitely been the biggest challenge, I found that focusing on other hobbies and socializing more has worked well for me.
 
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Deleted member 22651

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Day 36:
 
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