Weekend warrior

BillyB

Member
New here. I keep losing it every weekend and look at P. I have no girlfriend. Every weekend I keep doing this. Lonely.

How do I break the cycle?

As of now I’m on day 0 again.
 

BillyB

Member
Today I was feeling desperate and began looking for an escort and massage parlors online from my phone. I’ve never resorted to a pro like that before but I’m considering it. I texted several ads and heard no responses. Then it led to P.

Need to get laid. It’s been months.

I do not jerk off all week and begin feeling better once the weekends start but have no woman to screw on weekends so I resort to P. Then I feel awful for days after jerking off to P.

Need to stop this cycle.
 

Cmax

Active Member
New here. I keep losing it every weekend and look at P. I have no girlfriend. Every weekend I keep doing this. Lonely.

How do I break the cycle?

As of now I’m on day 0 again.
Hi Billy, I am in day 55 of a reboot....I see the light and have cleared my mind of the porn visions......Read the book Your brain on porn! When I understood the science, I realized how destructive porn is to the nerve endings! The book motivated me to stay strong and spread the word to the younger generation who's access to porn is immense! Exercise, meditation and reboot nation will help but if you want a truly great sex life with real people you must make leap! REBOOT NATION is here for you!
 

BillyB

Member
I read the book and lasted 2 weeks since my first post.

Got laid last weekend and felt good. Relapsed this weekend and feel awful now.

What can I do to improve my chance of not relapsing again?
 

Noah

Member
Two weeks is a terrific achievement. Just commit yourself to getting further this time. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
 

Rebel79

Member
There is a podcast called Porn Free Radio, give that a try, I’ve been listening to it and it’s helped me. Also if you go to SMART Recovery they have virtual meetings that might be good to look into. I attend the Sunday night meeting and it‘s been helpful for me. They are zoom but only audio and chat. They don’t push you to talk you can chat in the chat window or just listen. Hope this helps and we are all here for you. You don’t have to do this alone. Stay Strong.
 

Cmax

Active Member
I read the book and lasted 2 weeks since my first post.

Got laid last weekend and felt good. Relapsed this weekend and feel awful now.

What can I do to improve my chance of not relapsing again?
It's gonna take knowing the triggers that set off the porn response......start your reboot again and do your best to fight off a response to the triggers!.....if you are having problems with sexual function, that should be motivation enough to give stopping porn a shot! You can do it!
 

BillyB

Member
How do you identify triggers and know how to better respond? Do you have examples?

I feel awful today. It is like a digital hang over.
 

Cmax

Active Member
How do you identify triggers and know how to better respond? Do you have examples?

I feel awful today. It is like a digital hang over.
When I get in the shower....my mind starts to fantasize.......I catch it and stop.....sometimes I start to masturbate....I take deep breaths and turn the cold water up......the other triggers I have overcome was when my wife would leave or when she was asleep! My main problem was boredom.......but after I read your brain on porn......I stopped cold turkey...the shower is my nemesis.....but I'm day 71 of my reboot and have not masturbated! Every person has different triggers!
 

Noah

Member
When I get in the shower....my mind starts to fantasize.......I catch it and stop.....sometimes I start to masturbate....I take deep breaths and turn the cold water up......the other triggers I have overcome was when my wife would leave or when she was asleep! My main problem was boredom.......but after I read your brain on porn......I stopped cold turkey...the shower is my nemesis.....but I'm day 71 of my reboot and have not masturbated! Every person has different triggers!
Serious question here: Does "starting to masturbate" count as a relapse. Or only if you O? I'm struggling this with myself.
 

BillyB

Member
I need help building a better toolbox of strategies to stop using internet pornography. Is there a long list of known triggers and suggestions for how to best respond?

Abstaining for only two weeks is not long enough.
 

Cmax

Active Member
Serious question here: Does "starting to masturbate" count as a relapse. Or only if you O? I'm struggling this with myself.
It's really the fantasy that starts the process but I stop before erection.....it's being aware of the mind f@#k! But I will let you know when my wife and I attempt sex......we had sex day 45 of my reboot and I had to fight off my shower fantasizes before that day...so I don't think I relapsed???!!!!
 

Noah

Member
It's really the fantasy that starts the process but I stop before erection.....it's being aware of the mind f@#k! But I will let you know when my wife and I attempt sex......we had sex day 45 of my reboot and I had to fight off my shower fantasizes before that day...so I don't think I relapsed???!!!!
Good! I didn't mean to suggest that you did relapse. Just trying to figure out the truth. Maybe everyone has their own understanding of what a relapse means, which would make sense.
 

Cmax

Active Member
Good! I didn't mean to suggest that you did relapse. Just trying to figure out the truth. Maybe everyone has their own understanding of what a relapse means, which would make sense.
I got that....but it is a great question because everyone's responses could be different! We are searching for our truth! Thanks brother!
 

BillyB

Member
Can anyone recommend strategies to stop using internet pornography?

Recently I have been applying for jobs and facing too much rejection, and that could be a trigger.

Also I deactivated my online dating account because the rejection kept adding up and probably led me to feel rejected and led to more internet pornography.

My social life is not the best and on weekends I feel rejected more and it leads to internet pornography. I need to make my weekends more structured with places to be and people to see, but I am unsure how.
 

guitar1968

Well-Known Member
Can anyone recommend strategies to stop using internet pornography?

Recently I have been applying for jobs and facing too much rejection, and that could be a trigger.

Also I deactivated my online dating account because the rejection kept adding up and probably led me to feel rejected and led to more internet pornography.

My social life is not the best and on weekends I feel rejected more and it leads to internet pornography. I need to make my weekends more structured with places to be and people to see, but I am unsure how.
For me, this forum, Your Brain on Porn and The Easy Peasy Method really helped me. Maybe they will help you as well. The Easy Peasy Method is a free book that really puts porn in to perspective. It helped me realize what I was gaining by quitting, not what I was losing. When I read it, it just made sense and something clicked in my brain. I still have the compulsion to look at porn but it is fading and when I start to think about porn, I prefer to come here and read journals, write in my own and talk to people who are also struggling. It is been the best thing for me.

Good luck. Keep coming here and writing. Keep reading and watching everything you can on how to beat this addiction. There are tons of great videos by people like Noah Church and many others. Watch, listen learn and things will change if you really want them to.
 

BillyB

Member
Hey everyone it’s Billy checking back in. It’s been about 12 days of no pornography.

I read the book Easy Peasy and I also stopped drinking caffeine. I have not been laid for a couple weeks and I would rather have a girlfriend to have regular sex with.

A month ago I deleted my online dating app because it made me depressed.

Women in general are not easy to meet anymore. While going about my day (cafes, groceries, libraries, etc.) I see literally thousands of hot women that behave feircy unavailable. It’s almost like a painful and damaged vibe these babes project and I suspect it is due to all the supernatural amounts of attention available for them on online dating apps?

They basically act like little tyrants and they make saying hi or any interaction at all with them as difficult as possible. They all avoid eye contact with me like it was the plague and I am not a bad looking person. They wear earbuds, big headphones, sunglasses, masks, never smile, turn their heads. They have a toolbox of like 1000 different ways to avoid ever talking or looking at me. Oh and they walk around in yoga pants and sexy outfits but they just walk around all entitled or something. It’s harsh.

It feels like they are all ready to hit a giant MeToo button just for being anywhere in their vicinity. It feels like they hate men. I think many of them are concealing mental illness, yet they walk around with smoking hot bodies.

Can anybody else relate to these observations?

That is where I am at now. Thanks for following my topic.
 
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Rebel79

Member
Here is the one thing I’ve learned. A smoking hot body isn’t all it’s about. Maybe try looking for someone you connect with on a deeper level. Looks fade but a deep connection is long lasting and far more fulfilling. Focus on making those connections and you’ll find a good girl to share your life with.
 

guitar1968

Well-Known Member
I know it can be tough trying to meet someone who cares about you and wants the same things as you. However, I would be careful thinking this way too much. Yes, certainly it's harder to meet the right person these days, but not everyone woman out there is this way. There are so many women just looking for the right relationship just like you. Be positive. Act strong and positive.
 
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