Journal for my reboot

96LostWanderer

Active Member
17th September 2021

No relapses since my last post. Getting some small urges now so I just fired up the blocker on my laptop again.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
20th September 2021

Yesterday I had strong urges and peeked at a couple of NSFW images before deciding better and clicking away. Today I’ll try to get through without peeking.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
21st September 2021

Relapsed last night with porn after about 12 days without a full relapse. Now I feel low and I noticed it wasn’t even doing much for me when I looked at it, although I had the mindset that I already started so I might as well continue. But now I can see that I am poisoning my mind.

Need to stick to my previous rule of no internet after 11.30pm. Mostly my last relapses have been late night sessions.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
21st September 2021

Relapsed last night with porn after about 12 days without a full relapse. Now I feel low and I noticed it wasn’t even doing much for me when I looked at it, although I had the mindset that I already started so I might as well continue. But now I can see that I am poisoning my mind.

Need to stick to my previous rule of no internet after 11.30pm. Mostly my last relapses have been late night sessions.
Are relapses happening on your phone or on a computer? Maybe, try locking up that stuff in your car or a safe.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
Are relapses happening on your phone or on a computer? Maybe, try locking up that stuff in your car or a safe.

Mostly on my phone. I have a blocker on my laptop now which means I can cut off access to the websites I usually use for porn. I might buy myself a safe, thanks for the advice.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
25th September 2021

Thought about porn most of the afternoon then relapsed this evening. Not sure what to do. Maybe try installing a blocker on my phone to get rid of access to Twitter, which is the constant source of my relapse material. Not doing well atm.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
I have heard the struggle against this addiction is about accepting you’ve stopped. I have real trouble with that acceptance.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
This is how I felt, but I think that I'm starting to get out of it. My explanation as to how would be that I gave a lot of thought as to how my life will turn out if I let this decline continue. I'm tired of feeling like a loser

Yeah, I don’t want to be 30 and still looking at porn often. That would be truly depressing. I need to kick this habit now rather than later. I need to get back on track because I’ve really fallen off the wagon this past week.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
30th September 2021

Peeked quickly at a few NSFW images but decided to stop before a full blown relapse.

Need to stick to avoiding Twitter on my phone. Got a blocker on my laptop but cutting off phone access is still hard.
 
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